this is LITERALLY me when I instance a kaiju and become renewed in the waters of Lake Minnetonka

Salix Babylonika · 2021-05-17 11:59:09

it's a new era

and in a new era

there muast be....NEW heroes

----------------------

CELINE THE CATGIRL: holy SHIT, Doctor Fugelstein, what is THAT thing

(that thing):

DOCTOR FUGELSTIEN: well you see my DEAR, STUPID CATGIRL. tHAT is a giant monster. or as the kids call them , "a kaiju". it's here to cause mass destruction and fuck the general state of things six ways to sonnetag

CELINE THE CATGIRL: what should we do about it?!! 1!!!!?!

DOCTOR FUGELSGTHN: first ofa ll young lady don't use that many exclamation points with me, i 've told you before that they ar eNOT choose control for cool. SECONDLY, we need to enable the Fuck Dispensers. if WE do that, the monster will collapse under its own eight, and we will be free of both it and the metaphorical monster (capitalism...or CRAPitalism, as I call it)

CELINE: Miss Doctor...is THIS the fuck dsponser????

Salix Babylonika · 2021-05-17 12:01:41

DOCTOR FUGLGHL: why YES my dear catiglr, that is EZAXCLT what is it. If we simply press this button, everyone on earth, both the normal world and Centralia and alos various other places, will be FORCED to care about the short and long term problems that plague our society, INCLUDING this giant lion dragon thing

CELINE: wow! that sounds too good to be true!

DOCTOR FUGLELSTn: it IS you stupid fucking brat *she bonks her* the machine is BROKEN. do you know how hard it is to fined a gumball machine mechanic at this hour????

CLIN: but I thinked it was a FUCK dispenser, not a gumball dspenser?

DOCTOR FUGELSTEIN: stupid beloved catgilr; if people are given gumballs, the fucks will naturally follow. Now, allonsy, we must make haste to Detroit 2, the city of dreams

Salix Babylonika · 2021-05-17 12:09:50

[THEY ARRIVE IN DETROIT 2, THE CITY IS BUILT HIGH WITH SUGAR SPIRALS AND MOUNTAINS OF JOY, THE PEOPLE ARE HAPPY, THE ANDROIDS ARE HAPPY, PAID LABOR IS UNHEARD OF, AND ROBERT BLACK REIGNS SUPREME MOSTLY AGAINST HIS OWN WISHES AS THE ANARCH]

CEILNE: WOW!!!! I've never bene to Detroit 2, it really IS as cool as they say!!

DR. FGL: now nwo my dear catgirl, we are not here to tarry, we must ACQUIRE CUMBALL MACHINE PARTS, or else we'll never be able to deefeat the jakiu

CELINE: but where are we gonna find a gumball machine repairmint? Its; like , a real specialty job, doc!!

GUMBALL REPAIRMAN (THE SON OF CHEF & WAITERMAN): did somebody say....Gumball Machine Repair?

[ALL PRESENT APPLAUD]

[QUICKLY, THEY RETURN TO CENTRALIA, HWERE THE KAIJU WREAKS HAVOC. LIVERY, THE FRONT OF THE CENTRALIAN ROYAL MOTORCADE, HAS HAD LIMITED SUCKSCESS IN FIGHTING THE BEAST]

Gumball Repairman: FEAR NOT, my gumball machine reaper skills can put ANY mechanical gumball dispensor device back together in no time flat

[HE REPAIRS THE MACHINE]

THE MACHINE BE LIKE:

CELINE: well doc,,,, I guess there's only one thing left to do!!!

[SHE DISPENSES A FUCK FROM THE MACHINE]

[ALL AROUND THE WORLD, ALL ABLE PEOPLE RALLY TO FIGHT THE KAIJU AS THEIR APATHY IS DISSOLVED UNDER THE CRUSHING WAVES OF MOTIVATION AND COMMUNITY SPIRIT THAT THE GIVE-A-FUCK MACHINE PRODUCES. THE PEOPLE CHEER AS THE BEAST IS DRIVEN BACK INTO THE WATER, ITS ELECTRONIC SCREAMS PIERCING THE SKY]

DR FLGOLGLS: You did it, my dear gatgirl!! now we can live in peace once more

CELINE: no Dr. Flugoelstine,,,,,,, WE did it!

[ALL APPLAUD]

narroator: AND ONCE AGAIN, THE DAY IS SAVED, THANKS TO....THE POWERFUCK GIRLS!!

CELINE: who the hell is that guy????

DR. PHLOGISTON: Ugh! unions,,,,

[AUDIENCE LAUGHS AS SCREEN FADES TO BLACK]

Salix Babylonika · 2021-05-17 12:26:57

In this production, the role of CELINE THE CATGIRL was played by

Celine The Catgirl! Celine is a rising star in the wonderposting industry. Look out for her in a thread near you this fall!

the role of Dr. Feugelstein was played by....

Tiffany Q. Yandere! This long-time fan favorite is a veteran of the wonderposting scene, just don't let her know where you live!

The role of the Gumball Repair Technician was played by....

Dave! Thanks for the pickup work, Dave!

And the role of society was played by....

Viewers like you!

Salix Babylonika · 2021-05-17 12:30:06

(Copyright Magic Planet Entertainment c. 2021-8655)

Salix Babylonika · 2021-05-17 12:32:04

BEHIND THE SCENES, CUT IDEAS FROM THIS WONDERPOST:

-a cameo by Chef and/or Waiterman themselves

-a crossover event with the IDW Transformers comics

-a musical appearance by Canadian Celtic folk singer Loreena McKinnet performing her hit "The Bonny Swans"

Princess Alice · 2021-05-17 12:45:30

This is a work of art

Imipolex G · 2021-05-17 16:11:20

damn, I had completely forgotten about Loreena McKinnet

Salix Babylonika · 2021-05-18 03:10:40

I'm unappreciated in my time

Salix Babylonika · 2021-05-23 01:58:28

.

Sredni Vashtar · 2021-05-23 01:59:29

…

Imipolex G · 2021-05-23 02:05:01

....

Sredni Vashtar · 2021-05-23 02:07:22

. . . . .

Crystal · 2021-05-23 17:52:50

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

D.B. Hecati · 2022-09-29 05:11:24

huh.

Tre · 2022-10-03 21:34:45

"That's not Lake Minnetonka."

Calica · 2023-03-16 06:41:51

大回虫

Ali_Roz · 2023-03-17 17:45:23

"You can only be redeemed in the waters of Lake Minnetonka."

this is LITERALLY me when I instance a kaiju and become renewed in the waters of Lake Minnetonka

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