Eight totally plausible theories that will keep you up at night

Odradek · 2015-08-17 18:20:25

8: Evolution: This theory states that humans evolved from lower animals Science calls "primates". Just think about that. Any second now, "Evolution" could decide you'd be better off with two heads, or tentacles! Scary thought, huh?

7: Gravity: Thought this was just a cute grade school concept, right? Wrong, gravity says that a fall from a sufficiently high building will LITERALLY KILL YOU. Think about THAT, Sir Isaac Newton

6: Private Language Argument: This theory says that all of our words don't actually mean what think think we mean. In fact, meaning is controlled by a secret society of beetles that live in the black boxes of planes. Wes Craven, move over!

5: Young Earth Creationism: We don't quite understand this theory due to all the hard Science Jargon, but it had something to do with the devil and dinosaurs which is scary enough for us!

4: Schrodinger's Cat: This theory says that due to quantum weirdness, your cute little kitten could become a vicious zombie ANY SECOND. Feel free to take a deep breath.

3: Germ Theory: Ever seen a zombie movie? Well the things that make zombies, according to Science, REALLY EXIST!!!!!

2: Spontaneous Generation: According to Science, any garbage bin could spawn a whole heap of flies at any given second.

1: Coulomb's Law: From Wikipedia:

The magnitude of the electrostatic force of interaction between two point charges is directly proportional to the scalar multiplication of the magnitudes of charges and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them.[12]
The force is along the straight line joining them. If the two charges have the same sign, the electrostatic force between them is repulsive; if they have different signs, the force between them is attractive.

We just shit ourselves.