Anonus Watches "Love & Monsters"
Well I was told that this is kind of a polarizing episode of Doctor Who; I know CA doesn't like it. But I'm watching it anyway, just to see what it's like!
So as the episode begins we see a blond man running up a hill and sighting the TARDIS. He approaches it and touches it, but runs away from it upon hearing Rose's shouts of "Doctor? Doctor!".
He then enters a building with stairs leading down to a floor, and there are more shouts from Rose and the Doctor audible inside. The man then approaches a door inside and opens it, where he is greeted by a monster with large gums, who roars at him. This turns out to be an anecdote, told by the man in front of his video camera. He says "and if you think that was the most exciting day of my life, wait 'til you hear the rest...Oh boy!", leading into the intro.
In the interest of avoiding a wall of text (as of this I'm still watching, don't worry) I've decided to just end this part here.
So as the episode begins we see a blond man running up a hill and sighting the TARDIS. He approaches it and touches it, but runs away from it upon hearing Rose's shouts of "Doctor? Doctor!".
He then enters a building with stairs leading down to a floor, and there are more shouts from Rose and the Doctor audible inside. The man then approaches a door inside and opens it, where he is greeted by a monster with large gums, who roars at him. This turns out to be an anecdote, told by the man in front of his video camera. He says "and if you think that was the most exciting day of my life, wait 'til you hear the rest...Oh boy!", leading into the intro.
In the interest of avoiding a wall of text (as of this I'm still watching, don't worry) I've decided to just end this part here.
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As he goes back outside we hear the TARDIS dematerializing and his statement that it made "the most beautiful sound in the world". The scene changes back to his room and the camera, where he explains that this is not the story of how he met the Doctor, it is the story of him and his encounters with aliens. He warns that it is gonna get "scaaaary!".
Later the scene changes to him standing outside his family home, with his friend Ursula Blake recording him. He explains that two women live there now and that they are bit "severe". Noting that this is beside the point, he says that his first encounter with the Doctor occurred there, when he was 3 or 4 years old.
The scene later changes back to him in his room, where he identifies himself as Elton, not to be confused with (video clip of Elton John singing and playing the piano plays for a bit). He says that his life and work (for a logistics company) were normal until two years ago. He walks past a store window with mannequins inside, and one of them then breaks the window with a chop, establishing this as occurring during the events of "Rose". They later begin walking throughout the mall in a robotic fashion before Elton is shown in his room saying "shop, window, dummies come to life!" with a look of astonishment on his face.
He then states that twelve months later, he witnessed an airplane landing (not an airplane, but a spaceship, establishing this as the events of "Aliens of London".), and on Christmas Day 2006 he witnessed an alien invasion (the events of "The Christmas Invasion".). This led him to meet Ursula, then Victor Kennedy, then Jackie Tyler, and finally the Doctor. The lighting then changes (the room is less blue and the sun is shining in through the window more), along with the angle, and he says that the Doctor is not his only interest. One of the interests he lists is the Electric Light Orchestra; we are promptly shown a clip of Elton dancing to one of their songs. (This was around the point where I stopped watching the last time I watched)
Another change in light and angle leads him to say that he tried to look up more information on the invasion on the Internet, but it went into meltdown; further investigation led him to a blog written by Ursula Blake, which has a large banner with a picture of the Doctor on it. Upon meeting Ursula, she explains that she initially thought the picture was of "some bloke" and did not know it was the Doctor until meeting "Mr. Kennedy", who told her so. She says "there are a few of us" upon Elton's inquiry as to who Mr. Skinner is, and that he works at an "inner sanctum" that studies him. Elton informs her that he saw him when he was a kid, and that he looked exactly the same then as he does now. Elton seems to have fallen in love with her; music suggesting this plays over a scene of the two walking in the park, ending in "poor Ursula" and a brief clip of her screaming.
He then says that Ursula was part of a group who met up under a library to discuss their own experiences with the Doctor. Mr. Skinner, Colin Skinner was part of this group (they always called him "Mr. Skinner"; the clip shown of him shows his belief that the Doctor is not a man as much as a collection of archetypes), as were Bridget (who shows a slideshow full of pictures of the TARDIS, the one constant feature the Doctor has had over many changes in appearance; one of the pictures shows a simplified rendering of it as a character in ancient writing) and Bliss (who has tried to "sum up the Doctor" with a sculpture of a twisted line, perhaps an allusion to a line in "The Unquiet Dead"), who Elton says was "ever so sweet".
The group, at Elton's suggestion, takes the name "L.I.N.D.A.", for "London Investigation 'n' Detective Agency". Over time they grew closer. One night during "Musical L.I.N.D.A.", the lights suddenly go out along with the musical equipment and a shadowy man descends in the elevator. Placing a briefcase on the floor and cuing the lights, he is revealed to be Victor Kennedy. Elton says "the golden age was gone", as he tells L.I.N.D.A. not to touch him, as he has a skin condition that causes him to get blisters at the slightest touch. He then says, when asked who he is, that he is their salvation.
He then shows them a video of the Doctor and Rose going to the TARDIS, attempting to remind them of their purpose. The video stops, but the audio does not; he turns up the sound of the TARDIS dematerializing, referring to it as "the sound of the universe". Elton relates his anecdote, and learns that this sound came from the TARDIS.
Victor distributes the Torchwood Files to L.I.N.D.A., again imploring them not to touch him. Elton then says via voiceover that, without anyone saying it, they were basically working for him; this accompanies a scene change to Victor's office, which is fashioned like a classroom with the members of L.I.N.D.A. reading books at desks. Within the anecdote he asks Victor where Bliss is, and he responds that she is getting married and that the marriage will never last, calling her a stupid girl. This is where the scenes at the start of the episode become important; Victor is enraged that Elton froze upon meeting the Doctor and attempts to hit him. He reminds Victor that he shouldn't touch people, then says he can use his cane, to which Ursula responds that if he hits Elton he will get "one hell of a smack off [her], and a good kick, too!" (which amused me).
Victor says that the key to finding the Doctor is finding Rose Tyler (whose name they do not know); the Torchwood Files are lacking in information on her, and he says they were corrupted by the "Bad Wolf virus", so all they have is photographs of her.
Elton then goes into London and gets information on her, including her name, address, and the name of Jackie Tyler, from an old lady in a busy shopping area of town. He then sees Jackie entering a laundromat and follows her inside, pretending he is there to do laundry. In order to be a proper spy, he must engage her in conversation, as Victor taught. "Step two: without provoking suspicion, get on first-name terms with the target", he says in voiceover. Jackie then tells him her name, and he tells her his own name. He then finds a way to get into her household, by fixing the Tylers' laundry washing machine; the cause of it not working, he says, is only a fuse. Jackie says that Mickey used to take care of this sort of thing for them before he left for the parallel universe first shown in "Rise of the Cybermen"/"The Age of Steel".
Upon being invited into the living room, Elton learns Rose's name. We then cut back to Victor's office, where Elton shows a picture he shot of Jackie with his phone to the other members of L.I.N.D.A.; Mr. Skinner is amazed at Elton's espionage skills, as he has accomplished every step in detail, except for "step 5", "this week's homework", which is a full plan of attack. Victor wants a word with Bridget in private. We don't see this yet.
Elton relates that infiltration went well, as Jackie needed a lot of things fixed. After fixing...some light-y thing, Jackie attempts to seduce him, sharing wine with him and later spilling some on his shirt. He winds up attempting to take advantage of the seduction, entering the bathroom and spraying deodorant on his shirtless body, and walks back out to Jackie on the phone. The call is about Rose, who Jackie says leaves her behind during her travels. She tells Elton to put his shirt back on.
What was the line from "The Unquiet Dead"?
born in the 20th century and die in the 19th and it's all my fault. I
brought you here." Okay, not a line, really.
Elton then declares that he will buy Jackie and himself a pizza to cheer her up and turn up the telly real loud to annoy the woman next door, and that they will be proper mates. He then relates that although he liked Jackie, he got so caught up in conspiracy stuff that he forgot about Ursula, who he liked even more. After a flashback of scenes from earlier, Jackie tells Elton that he has found a picture of Rose in his pocket, and he explains that he is looking for the Doctor. Jackie does not take well to this, as she wishes to protect him and Rose until the end of her life, and warns him to back off. She gives him back his jacket and tells him to leave her alone.
Elton returns to Victor's office and is shouted at for blowing his cover and failing step 5. He replies that he doesn't care about step 5 and that ever since Victor came along L.I.N.D.A. has lost its sense of fun and camaraderie. He says that he is leaving, and tells Mr. Skinner and Ursula that they are coming with him, inviting the latter out for Chinese. Elton tells Victor "good luck, and good-bye!". Mr. Skinner, however, stays behind as Victor tells him he has contact information for Bridget. The cymbals in the background as Elton and Ursula leave imply bad things will happen, which as a scream heard as they are outside the building suggests, they do. Ursula left her phone in the building, so they go back for it.
Victor is reading a newspaper and, upon being asked of his whereabouts, says that Mr. Skinner has gone to the toilet. Elton says there are no toilets in the building and that they have to use the nearby pub's restrooms, and Victor says that Mr. Skinner is there. He is not, as he begs Elton and Ursula for help. Victor puts down the newspaper, revealing himself as a fat, slimy alien with Mr. Skinner's face on his large belly. Elton calls him a "thing", which Victor takes offense at, insulting the human body in turn. He has absorbed Mr. Skinner, as well as Bridget and Bliss. Elton dubs him an "Abzorbaloff", which Victor likes. Ursula orders him to let them go, although Victor says that they "taste so sweet" in reply, wondering aloud what the Doctor would taste like and saying that he would absorb Jackie to get to him if that was what he needed to do.
Ursula then picks up the cane and threatens him with it, though he says he is clumsy as he begs not to be beaten (okay, the effect put on his voice to make it sound alien amuses me here). He then begins absorbing Ursula, who is probably less horrified than she should be. The others absorbed into him begin saying "nooo!", and Ursula says that Elton cannot touch her, saying that she is "so sorry". She is fully absorbed, Victor expresses pleasure, and her face sprouts from his chest. He then says that she "tastes just like chicken", which is stupid.
If that were the worst line from that episode that would be bad enough, but astoundingly, it isn't.
Ursula tells him that he is next to be absorbed, as he has seen Victor's
true form. She begs him to "just run!", and all the other absorbed
people beg with her. He does so, and Victor chases him out of the
building (the chase sequence highlights how goofy his design is, even by
the standards of this show) and eventually encounters a dead end.
Victor approaches him, ready to absorb him, when the TARDIS can be heard
materializing nearby. The Doctor steps out and says "someone wants a
word with you". "Someone" is Rose, who is unhappy that Elton has upset
Jackie. The Doctor notices Victor, who he winds up dubbing an
Abzorbaloff as well. Initially assuming that he hails from the same
planet as the Slitheen, he says he was born on their Twin Planet, Clom,
and will return there victorious upon gaining possession of the TARDIS.
In order to gain it, he threatens to absorb Elton if he is not given the TARDIS. Ursula and the others pull away from him, and instruct Elton to break Victor's cane, killing Victor and those absorbed. The Doctor explains that the cane created a "limitation field", and now that it is gone Victor is being absorbed by the Earth. Ursula tells Elton "bye-bye" as she sinks into the Earth. Rose learns who she is and holds him as he cries.
We then cut back to Elton in front of his camera, who says that the story is over -- or rather, almost over, as the Doctor explained what he was doing in his house when he was a child. He stopped an Elemental Shade that had escaped from the howling halls, but couldn't save "her": his mother, who had died that night. The Doctor apologizes for this. Cutting back to his camera, Elton remembers his mother doing the dishes through grainy footage. In front of his camera he is nearly crying. He then remembers more grainy footage of her, this time walking him through the park.
In front of his camera and next to his computer, Elton says that he has had terrible things happen to him, and brilliant things happen to him, though sometimes he can't tell the difference. Quoting Stephen King, he says that "Salvation and damnation are the same thing", which he never knew the meaning of until now. He figures that bad things happen if you touch the Doctor, reflecting on the deaths of his friends who were part of L.I.N.D.A. and wonders aloud how long it will be until they happen to Rose and Jackie.
Ursula says that he still has her; an anecdote reveals that the Doctor managed to save her. Cutting back to Elton's room, she is now just a face in a tile. This little sequence almost makes me tear up a bit. He then muses that life is more interesting than just getting a job, getting married and having kids.
...well, it wasn't a bad episode. Not particularly great, but not terrible.
I happen to share it.
Or that it was the greatest episode ever, apparently.
But mostly that it sucked.
It's true that the hate tends to dominate, at least online, but you usually do see a few people who will enthusiastically defend it, as well.
But I blame RTD for that. The Beetles from Primeval were designed by a competition winner, too, and they were awesome because the writers took them seriously and didn't give them lines like "she tasted like chicken" or have people's faces stuck to their asses.
Or type. You get the idea.
...what caused it?
So what did you think?