Esurance / Allstate

Manly McMacho · 2012-01-27 01:09:17

Good OTP, best ship.

Viani · 2012-01-27 01:11:18

"You're in good hands, Erin."

"Oh my, I think it might be the other way around....♥"

Justice4243 · 2012-01-27 02:23:06

What the hell is up with the font on that page?

Anonus · 2012-01-27 02:27:02

The rounded sans? That's Bryant. Esurance used it to try and look modern.

Manly McMacho · 2012-01-27 02:28:26

Well, I like it and thinks it's perfectly modern (whatever that's supposed to entail anyway).

Princess Alice · 2012-01-27 02:29:12

Also they're doing that annoying let's-set-text-as-images thing that was common before webfonts became a thing.

Anonus · 2012-01-27 02:31:00

At least those can be ran through WhatTheFont!

Manly McMacho · 2012-01-27 02:31:31

^^Okay, that is kind of annoying.

Tre · 2012-01-28 18:27:27

^x2 Anonus, I'd like to introduce you to the "Print Screen" key.

Ace Rimmer · 2012-01-28 18:36:14

Esurance / Allstate

I dont know who they are

Tre · 2012-01-28 18:44:20

They're insurance providers over here on this side of the pond.

Allstate bought Esurance.

Ace Rimmer · 2012-01-28 19:06:58

Oh okay so why didn't the OP bloody say that

Justice4243 · 2012-01-28 19:11:45

We take for granted that not everyone in the heap is from America.

Also you country is tiny, and stupid, and we hate it.

Ace Rimmer · 2012-01-28 19:13:01

Haters gonna hate Justice :3

Justice4243 · 2012-01-28 19:29:41

Manly McMacho · 2012-01-29 03:37:15

OH MY G WHALE I AM SOOOOOO SORRY I KEEP FOORGETTING :C

Justice4243 · 2012-01-29 16:53:43

It's not like Google isn't a thing and won't tell him what he wants to know if he asks nicely.

Heck, you could probably even ask it rudely, I typed "tell me what Esurance is you fucking cunt" in Google search and it helpfully gave me a link to a flash game of Erin Esurance being anally rapped by a tentacle...

Wait, what?

Ace Rimmer · 2012-01-29 16:58:58

Okay fine

Lets google Esurance:

Top answer is the American Insurance Company

Lets google Allstate:

Top answer is the American Insurance Company.

Justice4243 · 2012-01-29 17:01:04

/mystery solved.

Viani · 2012-01-29 17:03:18

a link to a flash game of Erin Esurance being anally rapped be a tentacle...

It was made by mai bestbuddifu Z0NE

Z0NE is a talented Flash video maker, who was hired by Hentaikey to make an assortment of flash game sex parodies of many famous female characters, ranging from Haruko from FLCL, Aisha from Outlaw Star, Frankie from Foster's Home, and Starfire from Teen Titans. I highly recommend Z0NE's work and as their devoted fan I ask that you take your time and enjoy some of Z0NE's work.

Have a good day

Zone-tan

Justice4243 · 2012-01-29 17:58:03

Wait...

Is Erin Esurance the wealthy heiress of Esurance fortune, or is she like a genetically created super solider of the Esurance company?

Manly McMacho · 2012-01-30 20:22:50

Both. Duh.

Justice4243 · 2012-01-30 20:28:38

I also thought about it, and realized she could be the wealthy creator of Esurance that fights crime in her spare time.

Manly McMacho · 2012-01-30 20:42:25

Erin Esurance is the daughter of Esurance founder, Erica Esurance. When she was a child, she was involved in a horrible accident that left most of her in a devastating coma, prompting her mother to pay for her to be turned into a genetically enhanced super soldier, with a side effect of making her really attractive. As such, she became a model, when a rival model, Naomi Harding, got jealous and put out a hit on Erin, to which her innate super skills activated, causing her to kick much ass.

She was then enlisted to become a spy slash bodyguard for her company, which had the added benefit of allowing the company to attached cameras to her to capture footage of her doing spy shit and delivering cheesy insurance-related lines to use as commercials. Additionally, noticing all of the terrible crime and whatnot in her area, she was all "what the hell, might as well fight some crime on the side".

One day, her powers mysteriously wore off, and immediately after she was kidnapped by one of her arch-nemeses and forced to do porn. Her mother died a short while after receiving the news. Grief-stricken, she vowed to prevent this from happening, so she went back in time, but she went back too far, realizing afterwards that there was no way for her to get back to the present. She figured she might as well enjoy herself in the past when she met a man. There was an instant attraction, and they porked got together and made sweet love, from which a child was produced.

Her and her new family lived relatively happily until her daughter was involved in a freak accident, to which Erin, now known as Erica, decided she should have her daughter turned into a super powerful genetically enhanced super soldier. So all of that other shit happened until her daughter's powers rent away, and it was then that Erica realized that the powers her daughter inherited from her at birth canceled out the enhancements made after the accident. Erica blamed herself for this, and died from shock until her stupid time-clone daughter thingy went back in time, became the new Erica and repeated the process, over and over and over again. Oh, and somewhere in between all of this she had a hawt, nasty lesbian affair with Flo.

It's all explained on the website, you just have to read between the lines.

TL;DR, time shit.

Justice4243 · 2012-01-30 20:44:28

THAT'S NOT GENETICALLY POSSIBLE, or at least, even more unlikely than someone being their own Grandpa...

Though that never stopped Red Dwarf...

Princess Alice · 2012-01-30 20:45:09

Heck, you could probably even ask it rudely, I typed "tell me what Esurance is you fucking cunt" in Google search and it helpfully gave me a link to a flash game of Erin Esurance being anally rapped be a tentacle...

For some reason my first thought was to immediately try this.

(Mind you, I didn't actually click on it, I just saw that it was indeed the first Google result)

Manly McMacho · 2012-01-30 20:45:25

^^She's genetically enhanced you dork, so it's possible for her and only her. Duh.

Like I said, all on the site.

Obā-san · 2012-01-30 20:50:25

I saw it. XD

Manly McMacho · 2012-01-30 20:57:10

^Wow, you're the worst gay dude ever.

Viani · 2012-01-30 23:03:18

Quote. Buy. Print. -splat- Moneyshot.

Obā-san · 2012-01-30 23:20:09

It had this really shitty sorta 1950s sci-fi backing sound, and the tentacle made this "Splorch, splorch" noise.

It was the least sexy thing.

Viani · 2012-01-30 23:28:09

It was one of those "shorts" things, like the Hentairellas or the Yoko one

OH GOD WHY AM I TALKING ABOUT THIS

Obā-san · 2012-01-30 23:33:07

My respect for straight people has diminished tenfold.

Viani · 2012-01-30 23:36:10

Well who the fuck are you to judge me for being straight you think all straight people like porn parodies and you think your respect for them even fucking means anything to hell with your judgment we are real people too and we deserve respect and acceptance
</massivebutthurt>

Manly McMacho · 2012-02-02 03:27:06

YOU TELL HIM, MY FINE BLACK SISTER

Esurance / Allstate

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