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Sonic

OdradekOdradek
edited 2014-11-10 18:28:14 in General
"If you have time to worry, then run!"-Sonic's advice to Princess Elise

"Gotta go fast"-Sonic's Mantra

"Uh oh! Better speed up!"-Sonic, at seemingly random intervals

Sonic, we've all come here to talk to you about your anxiety problems. We know that you've been self medicating by going very fast, but you can't run forever Sonic. We love you, and we want to help. Tails won't think any less of you if you get therapy, or take medication.

Comments

  • TanyaTanya
    Pizza Dog
    I'm kind of on the fence about the kind of habit of taking just silly childhood things and turning them into serious grimdark discussions.

    But at the same time, Sonic(creators) did the same thing by Introducing guns.

  • BeeBee
    edited 2014-11-10 20:47:49
    Sonic games have had guns since the very beginning.  They were mounted on cold, emotionless shells imprisoning innocent forest animals who were forced to watch as their feeble bodies were used to lay waste to the world in the name of a psychotic tyrant.

    Most of them had, like, bright candy colors and goofy smiles painted on them and stuff.
  • Imipolex GImipolex G
    Touch the cow. Do it now.
    and then Sonic would smash the psychotic tyrant's ship, causing it to explode in his face but somehow not cause serious injuries
  • CalicaCalica
    Sup bitches, witches, Haters, and trolls.
    I think you mean "Sega the Hedgehog"
  • HexartesHexartes
    I think I've sorta figured out why Sonic has such an intense fanbase

    because for all its silliness there is a lot of stuff in the series. Now, it's hopelessly dense and seemingly makes no attempt to ease anyone in but for those with a predisposition towards being engaged in it in the first place it is very engaging.
  • Obā-sanObā-san

    rolling around at the speed of ssand
  • Imipolex GImipolex G
    Touch the cow. Do it now.
    the early Sonic games are pretty great, the equivalent of a super spin dash that kept the series moving to the present day despite 10,000 mistakes since then

    it's kind of like Metallica's early albums in that respect
  • Obā-sanObā-san

  • One-Winged EagleOne-Winged Eagle
    Man is a most complex simple creature: see what he weaves, and how base his reasons for doing so.
    So here's the deal with Sonic's fanbase. See, when Mario went to graveyards and ghosts and witches, Sonic didn't. So to all the God-fearing parents, Sonic was clearly better. It was the only thing they allowed their children to play.

    I know this because I was one of those kids.
  • Obā-sanObā-san

    mario went to the graveyard with ghosts and witches?
  • Obā-sanObā-san

    i guess that explains all the christian sonic fanart
  • Obā-sanObā-san

    seriously though watch that trainwreck of a cutscene
  • TanyaTanya
    Pizza Dog
    If Mario is the devil, and Sonic is christian, then what about Link, and Solid Snake? 
  • Imipolex GImipolex G
    Touch the cow. Do it now.
    Mario has ghost houses, yo

    edgy as fuck
  • Section42LSection42L
    edited 2014-11-12 01:37:26
    We can do anything if we do it together.
    naney said:

    mario went to the graveyard with ghosts and witches?

    He may be referring to the haunted house sequences in Super Mario World.

    I grew up with Super Mario's All-Stars, so I actually know some things about the early 2-D Mario games.
  • Imipolex GImipolex G
    Touch the cow. Do it now.
    I know everything about 'em, myself
  • Section42LSection42L
    We can do anything if we do it together.
    Of course you do.

    You made a fan game of them, after all. :P
  • AnonusAnonus
    I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    naney said:

    mario went to the graveyard with ghosts and witches?

    well Kammy Koopa is a witch

    and the final boss of Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door is literally a demon (and, by implication, Mario's partner Vivian is one too)

    he didn't go the graveyard with ghosts and witches but the Mario franchise has a fair amount of supernatural stuff

    PM:TTYD and Super Paper Mario are basically anathema to crazy Christian parents
  • Obā-sanObā-san

    what isn't anathema to crazy christian parents
  • Imipolex GImipolex G
    Touch the cow. Do it now.
    christianity
  • TanyaTanya
    Pizza Dog
    I hear christianity worships the execution style of their lord (Crucifying) that's a pretty metal religion if you ask me. 
  • One-Winged EagleOne-Winged Eagle
    Man is a most complex simple creature: see what he weaves, and how base his reasons for doing so.
    They also eat him.
  • CalicaCalica
    Sup bitches, witches, Haters, and trolls.
    kingCrackers said:

    So here's the deal with Sonic's fanbase. See, when Mario went to graveyards and ghosts and witches, Sonic didn't. So to all the God-fearing parents, Sonic was clearly better. It was the only thing they allowed their children to play.


    I know this because I was one of those kids.
    also sega genesis is cheaper so I'm pretty sure that's why my parents bought me one
  • AnonusAnonus
    I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    I hear the Sonic Boom cartoon is better:


    the BGM here sounds like it's from MLP:FIM
  • Princess AlicePrincess Alice
    You are the end result of a “would you push the button” prompt where the prompt was “you have unlimited godlike powers but you appear to all and sundry to be an impetuous child” – Zero, 2022
    My mother always said she bought a Genesis instead of an SNES because she already owned a Nintendo console (the NES) and wanted to try something different
  • Yarrun XIXYarrun XIX
    Whores! we want "poems that kill."
    Assassin poems, Poems that shoot
    guns. Poems that wrestle cops into alleys
    and take their weapons leaving them dead
    Counterclock said:

    I hear christianity worships the execution style of their lord (Crucifying) that's a pretty metal religion if you ask me. 

    The symbol we use to celebrate our religion is an instrument of torturous execution. How do you people not already know how metal we are

  • TanyaTanya
    Pizza Dog
    Cause trying to burn Marisa or see if she floats more than a duck seems like a silly past time, Christians are basically Patchouli.
  • Imipolex GImipolex G
    Touch the cow. Do it now.
    as Patchouli, I disagree
  • TanyaTanya
    Pizza Dog
    Patches owns the bible does she not?
  • Imipolex GImipolex G
    Touch the cow. Do it now.
    the copyright, sure
  • CalicaCalica
    Sup bitches, witches, Haters, and trolls.
    image
  • Imipolex GImipolex G
    Touch the cow. Do it now.
    that's kinda scary
  • CalicaCalica
    Sup bitches, witches, Haters, and trolls.
    that hedgehog is voiced by DAN GREEN at his hammiest
  • Obā-sanObā-san


    ambling around at the speed of sound
  • CalicaCalica
    Sup bitches, witches, Haters, and trolls.
    apparently sonic boom has two different homing attacks that it doesn't actually tell you are different
  • Obā-sanObā-san

  • CalicaCalica
    Sup bitches, witches, Haters, and trolls.
    i can't believe that's the actual fucking voices

    this really is the new sonic 06
  • AnonusAnonus
    I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    So water's a bottomless pit again, okay >_>

    Even if these Boom games are just meant as tide-over titles a la the numerous Mario spin-offs, they're still embarrassing...
  • AnonusAnonus
    edited 2014-11-13 04:20:10
    I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    Sonic and crew delivered the dick alright
  • Obā-sanObā-san

    what really makes it good is that the horrible voices start making the shitty burbling noises before they hit the water
  • AnonusAnonus
    I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    Aw hell they brought Richard Jacques to do the music for these? And they kept Ken Pontac and Warren Graff on to write the cutscenes?

    Why is their talent being wasted on this shit
  • AnonusAnonus
    I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    I really hope the Boom games don't undo all the goodwill-building Sonic's spent the last six years doing...
  • CalicaCalica
    Sup bitches, witches, Haters, and trolls.
    Anonus said:

    I really hope the Boom games don't undo all the goodwill-building Sonic's spent the last six years doing...

    I've seen a lot of "the actual Sonic Team better bring their A game to their next project"
  • AnonusAnonus
    I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    These tide-over games could buy them time to do just that...
  • Salix BabylonikaSalix Babylonika
    https://i.imgur.com/IoGc2jA.jpg
    can they just do a sequel to Sonic Colors

    no one would be mad at that
  • AnonusAnonus
    I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    isn't that what Sonic Lost World was supposed to be (and, chronologically, Sonic Generations was its sequel too)
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