"Listen, kid," said the Colonel. "There are people out there who will try to tell you that CWC isn't worse than Hitler. But don't you believe a word of it."
The Colonel took a swig from his Pumpkin Spice Pepsi before continuing. "CWC is the only person in the history of the world to say something tasteless about 9/11. That's inexcusable, as is the mere existence of anything related to Sonichu. That alone makes him 99 times worse than Osama Bin Laden, and don't you forget it."
"But Colonel," said Sally. "How will I know when it's time to go home?"
"You're never going home now, Sally," said The Colonel. "At least not until you learn that narcissism is the only way to live. Unless you've killed a god and stolen his iPhone, you haven't accomplished anything in your life. Now get out there and annoy your third grade teacher!"
"I will!" said Sally. "And I'll break every lamppost I see on the way!"
"That's my girl," said the Colonel, smashing the nearby toilet with a sledgehammer.
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