Radiohead: The Animated Series

I wrote these stream-of-consciousness episode recaps for "Radiohead: The Animated Series" when I was loopy from sleep deprivation last night. I decided to move them into their own thread because they weren't really appropriate for the Episode Descriptions thread. I may or may not develop this idea further at some point in the future.

Radiohead: The Animated Series
9:00 p.m. - 9:30 p.m. PFORK

Recap #1:

The band decides to go to the American Metaphysical Circus to soothe their nerves after playing concerts eight nights in a row. The marching band that commences the circus accidentally plays "The Star Spangled Banner" instead of "God Save The Queen". This leads Thom to reflect on how the modern world has erased national boundaries, rendering us essentially one giant nation. This leaves him in despair because it compromises his identity as "a British subject he was born, and a British subject he will die". He tries to kill himself by way of throwing himself under the elephants. While jumping towards the elephants dramatically, Thom gets peanuts thrown at him. This triggers one of his many allergies, and causes him to hallucinate about fighting in World War I as Harry Partsch. This episode was a backdoor pilot about the adventures of Partsch that wasn't picked up by the PFORK network because Partsch was seen as "too conservative" for their liberal hipster audience.

Recap #2:

While puttering around in their van that they call "Kid A", the band discovers another van. This one is suspiciously labelled "Flowers By Irene". They send Jonny and his dog, Tamir, out to investigate it. The people in the van catch on to Jonny via detecting the signal in the miniature Ondes Martenot that he carries around as a way to communicate with likeminded musicians via sound waves. They then take him to their flower shop, which is labelled Mushnik's Flower Shop as to avoid suspicion from "normies" and to attract hipsters into the shop. The aim is to make hipsters think that they're coming into a shop modelled after the titular shop from Little Shop of Horrors. The life-sized "Seymour" model they've created to complete the illusion then spits out toxic gases that knock out the hipsters. The intent is to channel all of their coolness into the giant vintage Ondes Martenot laying in the basement of the building, and then use the sound waves to prefab "the next Death Grips". It will cause half the hipsters' internal systems to explode with orgasmic pleasure, and the other half will be consumed by hatred of it. This will wipe out all the hipsters, and leave the stage open for Pat Boone's grandson to assume his grandfather's legacy and become the most popular musician in the world. He lead the operation because he has a good singing voice and finds it a shame that nobody wants to put him to use anymore. They threw Jonny down into the room, but unfortunately for them, Tamir managed to escape. He uses his dog-like agility to free Jonny after Boone III and his associates left the room. Jonny then uses his knowledge of how an Ondes Martenot works to unfreeze all the cryogenically frozen hipsters. He gets them all to safety, then tells the band to come over before Boone III realizes what's up. Boone III almost throws a fit at them before the band tells him about their friend, Damon Albarn. They tell Boone III that, if he made Bobby Womack popular again, he could make Boone III popular as well. Boone III ends up going out on a well-received tour based on the album Albarn produced, and everybody ends up happy. Tamir barks suspiciously while at Boone III's concert, but everybody else laughs.

Recap #3:

After playing a concert at the world-famous Madison Square Garden V (we're in the future now, baby!), someone comes up to the band and proposes they kill him so that they get inspired enough to create another great album. He says that "I love your classic stuff, but The King of Limbs was so boring, guys. Clearly, you need some new artistic inspiration. I'm sure I will hear your new album in Heaven after it's completed. My life is a sacrifice I am willing to make to help you not suck anymore." Thom says "Wait a second, I thought all our fans were atheists. You're just a hipster phoney trying to become famous, aren't you? God, I wish Pitchfork hadn't given us that 10.0 when we released Kid A. We've had idiots like this come up to us and say the most inane shit ever since." Since Jonny was high at the time, he laughed and killed the guy with the sound waves from his miniature Ondes Martenot. Thom then curls up into the fetal position and wonders what he should do next. All the idiots around him have left him in despair once more. He goes into the studio and decides to record another solo album, just to stick it to the rest of the idiots he used to consider friends. The rest of the band works on material together that ends up being totally rad. Meanwhile, Thom records new material with the Red Hot Chili Peppers. After a couple of days, Thom becomes sober again and realizes that the RHCPs are morons and that his bandmates are still his friends. Jonny was only trying to help him be awesome again. They go over and embrace, and then record a new album that's totally rad and gets a 11.0 out of Pitchfork. That's right, it was so awesome that it transcended their scale entirely. Who was the person responsible for this? Well, everybody forgot his name because they were so high, lol.