Midnight Velvet Clearance Sale, Order Now!

Manly McMacho · 2014-05-01 23:03:34

For a limited time only, you can own your very own Midnight Velvet! Have her cook, clean, perform sexual favors or just sit back as she eats all of your food and berates you continually!

Entertain your friends, amaze your relatives, impress your coworkers or just have a little solo fun! Marvel at the three different operation modes: Angry, depressed and stoned!

Buy now and we'll throw in the limited edition Loli Velvet! Same great product, adorable new packaging!

For each Velvet you buy, we donate one to a needy child! Why the hell would a child need an unstable college student you ask? Who fucking cares that's why, stop asking questions and BUY BUY BUY!

All of this can be yours for only 3 easy payments of $0.99! You can't afford to let a deal this good pass you by so order today!

Paid for buy my shit inc.

Previous Calica · 2014-05-01 23:05:33

does she actually have the purple hair or is that just a quirk of the lighting

Miss Miko Mayonegg · 2014-05-01 23:05:52

*orders the entire stock* :o

Imipolex G · 2014-05-01 23:05:59

will she do my laundry

Manly McMacho · 2014-05-01 23:12:00

^^^Buy today and she can have any hair color you want!

^Maybe, if you bribe her Absolutely! Our top of the line Midnight Velvet models are programmed to carry out a whopping 10% 100%* of all orders given to them!

*With a 90% margin of error

^^Thank you for your patronage!

Imipolex G · 2014-05-01 23:14:21

Does she come in redhead

Miss Miko Mayonegg · 2014-05-01 23:16:37

^_^

Manly McMacho · 2014-05-01 23:30:51

Imipolex G said:
Does she come in redhead

She comes in both redhead

And redhead

Can't decide? Get both! Make your own personal Midnight Velvet harem and watch as they question your life choices fight over you!

Imipolex G · 2014-05-01 23:48:05

I'll take 'em both

Manly McMacho · 2014-05-01 23:57:49

Thank you good sir, your order should arrive by Feb. 29 yar 20221

Imipolex G · 2014-05-02 00:15:36

I will mark my calendar

Klinotaxis · 2014-05-02 00:46:30

i like how loli and original have exactly the same face and pose. impressive quality control

Manly McMacho · 2014-05-02 00:53:08

Klinotaxis said:
i like how loli and original have exactly the same face and pose. impressive quality control

Klinotaxis · 2014-05-02 00:54:07

a HACCP expert

Manly McMacho · 2014-05-02 00:57:27

Well I assure you that our products are all up to every safety standard every imagined and also

Klinotaxis · 2014-05-02 01:05:37

i see the MV units can detect the CTVT in my endocrine systems from long distance, and react appropriately to preserve national health outcomes. impressive

Midnight Velvet Clearance Sale, Order Now!

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