ITT: We Expect More and Pay Less

edited 2011-12-15 03:21:30 in Roleplay & Games
Here we are, at our local Target! Look, it just received a PFresh remodel! How delightful.

We walk in through the door marked "IN" and I grab one of those overly fancy plastic carts that all Target stores seem to have now except for the one by my house, goddammit!

WHAT NEXT?
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Comments

  • I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    I make the obligatory Wall-E comparison, grab a cart, and ride it. Where to, I don't know.
  • You are the end result of a “would you push the button” prompt where the prompt was “you have unlimited godlike powers but you appear to all and sundry to be an impetuous child” – Zero, 2022
    Then let us go with the obvious choice: To the My Little Pony aisle!
  • I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    Yay! Ponies!
  • edited 2011-12-15 03:34:12
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  • You are the end result of a “would you push the button” prompt where the prompt was “you have unlimited godlike powers but you appear to all and sundry to be an impetuous child” – Zero, 2022
    *takes all the remaining G3 MLP merchandise, shoves it in a nearby shopping cart, and shoves the cart crashing into a grocery display*
  • I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    *rides cart to the clothing section*

    WHEE
  • You are the end result of a “would you push the button” prompt where the prompt was “you have unlimited godlike powers but you appear to all and sundry to be an impetuous child” – Zero, 2022
    How do you steer a cart while you're inside it?

    Or make it move in the first place, for that matter?
  • edited 2011-12-15 03:41:40
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  • edited 2011-12-15 03:43:42
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  • I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    *runs off to the dairy section*

    *stares at the dairy*
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  • You are the end result of a “would you push the button” prompt where the prompt was “you have unlimited godlike powers but you appear to all and sundry to be an impetuous child” – Zero, 2022
    *unwraps a block of cheese and shoves it in Anonus's mouth*
  • edited 2011-12-15 03:57:42
    I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    My god you must think I'm rich or some-

    *notices ABC card slipping out of wallet*

    oh right.

    ^Ooh, mozzarella!
  • edited 2011-12-15 04:02:10
    You are the end result of a “would you push the button” prompt where the prompt was “you have unlimited godlike powers but you appear to all and sundry to be an impetuous child” – Zero, 2022
    *grabs another shopping cart, puts Anonus and squiddleTron in it, and walks to the service desk to attempt to exchange them for store credit*
  • I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    LIKE HELL I'MMA LET YOU

    *jumps out of cart with squiddleTron and rampages through the store*
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  • I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    How are you doing that all at once?
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  • edited 2011-12-15 04:11:51
    You are the end result of a “would you push the button” prompt where the prompt was “you have unlimited godlike powers but you appear to all and sundry to be an impetuous child” – Zero, 2022
    ^^ The same way the Cat in the Hat does all those amazing tricks at the beginning of the book, of course!

    Granted, he ended up wrecking the poor kids' house, but you gotta break a few eggs to make an omelet.
  • edited 2011-12-15 04:14:34
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  • I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    Well I hate eggs, so I guess I'm not doing that. :P
  • You are the end result of a “would you push the button” prompt where the prompt was “you have unlimited godlike powers but you appear to all and sundry to be an impetuous child” – Zero, 2022
    Anyways:

    *runs to the Seasonal section, adorns herself in Christmas lights*

    *strings together a shitload of extension cords so she can walk about the store all lit up*
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  • edited 2011-12-15 04:20:01
    The user and all related content has been deleted.
  • You are the end result of a “would you push the button” prompt where the prompt was “you have unlimited godlike powers but you appear to all and sundry to be an impetuous child” – Zero, 2022
    Aww, thanks squiddleTron! Now to do the Christmas tree dance like all human Christmas trees should!

    *begins dancing, accidentally steps on a bulb and breaks it, causing all of them to go out*

    Aw, man...
  • I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    *runs to the soda aisle, drinks all the sodas and begins jittering, making jackhammer noises and laughing like a maniac*
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  • edited 2011-12-15 04:26:45
    You are the end result of a “would you push the button” prompt where the prompt was “you have unlimited godlike powers but you appear to all and sundry to be an impetuous child” – Zero, 2022
    *dumps the Christmas lights into yet another shopping cart, hands it off to an unwitting employee*

    *tries on every bra in the store*

    Does this make me look fat?
  • I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    Is that good or is that bad?
  • edited 2011-12-15 04:28:45
    You are the end result of a “would you push the button” prompt where the prompt was “you have unlimited godlike powers but you appear to all and sundry to be an impetuous child” – Zero, 2022
    Is what good or bad?
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  • I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    ^^The bra making you look fat.
  • You are the end result of a “would you push the button” prompt where the prompt was “you have unlimited godlike powers but you appear to all and sundry to be an impetuous child” – Zero, 2022
    Oh, who cares?

    *throws the bras up in the air, they gently float down all over the store*

    *runs to the sporting goods section, grabs a bike, and starts riding it through the crowded aisles*
  • edited 2011-12-15 04:34:19
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  • I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    *stands by checkout reading magazines for the design*
  • You are the end result of a “would you push the button” prompt where the prompt was “you have unlimited godlike powers but you appear to all and sundry to be an impetuous child” – Zero, 2022
    *waits patiently at the Starbucks for Anonus to be done*
  • I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    *hijacks the PA to play "For True Story" on a loop*
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  • You are the end result of a “would you push the button” prompt where the prompt was “you have unlimited godlike powers but you appear to all and sundry to be an impetuous child” – Zero, 2022
    *rewires every TV in the electronics department to show Pinkie Pie videos on a loop*
  • Touch the cow. Do it now.
    I expected less and paid more. :(
  • You are the end result of a “would you push the button” prompt where the prompt was “you have unlimited godlike powers but you appear to all and sundry to be an impetuous child” – Zero, 2022
    Then YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG.
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  • I expected less and paid more.

    I guess that means their targeted advertising missed you.
  • Touch the cow. Do it now.
    *grabs one of the bras from before and sits thinking about 1994*
  • I express thanks that Wall-Mart exists in order to encourage Target to do better.
  • READ MY CROSS SHIPPING-FANFICTION, DAMMIT!

    i get so angry sometimes i just punch plankton --Klinotaxis
    Just like horrible diseases encourage the Medical community to do better! :D

    ...

    D: 

    (Note: This was not intended as an attack against Wall-Mart. I'm fine with Wall-Marts, just not so much a great deal of the people who shop there.)
  • Touch the cow. Do it now.
    I think that looking at the shoppers is one of the few good things about going to Wal-Mart.

    It's funny.
  • READ MY CROSS SHIPPING-FANFICTION, DAMMIT!

    i get so angry sometimes i just punch plankton --Klinotaxis
    Looking at them is one thing, being in line with them is another.

    image
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