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What's the worst product Ashens has reviewed?

Princess AlicePrincess Alice
edited 2014-04-11 12:45:41 in General
I'd have to go with the 9/11 PopStation, personally.

Comments

  • lee4hmzlee4hmz
    ⚠ THIS MACHINE KILLS FASCISTS
    That (which I'm surprised he didn't use the torch on, honestly) or that rotten egg from the Chinese Delicacy Special.
  • ProfessorGatorProfessorGator
    Remember back in the 50s when they'd record like Elvis singing YOU AIN'T NOTHIN BUT A HOUND DOG and then they'd turn the record over and reverse it and it was all NYERP NYERP NYERP NYERP NYERP and people were all like, "That is actually the voice of Satan coming from that song."
    Oh god, the 1,000-year egg. Poor guy.

    Perhaps not the worst, but Bambino Boxing is definitely up there for me. It's hard to believe that mess of incomprehensible visuals (seriously, they're just throwing their disembodied arms at each other and sometimes they hurt for no particular reason) was a legitimate game.
  • nohaynicklibrenohaynicklibre
    Smee, Maiman, Doktar, Pavelier, Button-Lee, Juan Ovyu
    That Poundland Christmas decoration that was literally shredded paper
  • ProfessorGatorProfessorGator
    edited 2014-04-11 19:56:58
    Remember back in the 50s when they'd record like Elvis singing YOU AIN'T NOTHIN BUT A HOUND DOG and then they'd turn the record over and reverse it and it was all NYERP NYERP NYERP NYERP NYERP and people were all like, "That is actually the voice of Satan coming from that song."
    Oh, I have another one for the list. Battle Bands.

    Silly Bandz are profitable. Children's monster battling franchises are also profitable. So therefore, if we combine both into an incomprehensible mess, it will still be even more profitable! BRILLIANT
  • One-Winged EagleOne-Winged Eagle
    Man is a most complex simple creature: see what he weaves, and how base his reasons for doing so.
    Century eggs are delicious.

    It's just that you're not supposed to eat them right out of the shell. They're a garnish or an ingredient.
  • ProfessorGatorProfessorGator
    Remember back in the 50s when they'd record like Elvis singing YOU AIN'T NOTHIN BUT A HOUND DOG and then they'd turn the record over and reverse it and it was all NYERP NYERP NYERP NYERP NYERP and people were all like, "That is actually the voice of Satan coming from that song."
    But are they still delicious when they come straight out of the low-budget convenience store? I think that's one of the key factors here.
  • Princess AlicePrincess Alice
    You are the end result of a “would you push the button” prompt where the prompt was “you have unlimited godlike powers but you appear to all and sundry to be an impetuous child” – Zero, 2022
    Not to mention that the one Ashen ate was, you know, actually spoiled.
  • One-Winged EagleOne-Winged Eagle
    Man is a most complex simple creature: see what he weaves, and how base his reasons for doing so.
    I'm pretty sure there are five or so companies that make century eggs and they're all the same quality.

    I'm not sure if it was actually spoiled or if he just thought it does. Because century eggs tend to smell a bit.
  • Princess AlicePrincess Alice
    You are the end result of a “would you push the button” prompt where the prompt was “you have unlimited godlike powers but you appear to all and sundry to be an impetuous child” – Zero, 2022
    He said on Twitter afterwards that he'd asked someone else and it turned out it was spoiled. *shrug*
  • lee4hmzlee4hmz
    ⚠ THIS MACHINE KILLS FASCISTS
    Now I'm watching the "I'm judging you" violin review (the one with an amazing amount of Engrish on it), and yeah, that horribly written description of the violin's history was actually nicked from the Chinese Wikipedia and (most likely) machine translated. Though I have to wonder what software they used, because even Google Translate does a better job. :P
  • ProfessorGatorProfessorGator
    Remember back in the 50s when they'd record like Elvis singing YOU AIN'T NOTHIN BUT A HOUND DOG and then they'd turn the record over and reverse it and it was all NYERP NYERP NYERP NYERP NYERP and people were all like, "That is actually the voice of Satan coming from that song."
    So Chinese Wikipedia is responsible for Nicolas Marty, Antonio Stella Bottom Tile, and Ji Plug Pu Melon Nai. Amazing
  • lee4hmzlee4hmz
    edited 2014-04-11 22:05:39
    ⚠ THIS MACHINE KILLS FASCISTS
    Google Translate still has a bit of trouble with "Giuseppe melon Del Neri Jie Su (Giuseppe Guarneri del Gesu)", it seems.
  • TachyonTachyon
    imagei will watch the heck outta this pumpkin patch
    even if the egg wasn't spoiled, it might simply not have been to Ashens' taste

    i mean, people can dislike any flavour.  like i remember a friend biting into a chocolate mini-roll and making such a disgusted face

    regardless, i think the 9/11 popstation is probably still the worst
  • Princess AlicePrincess Alice
    You are the end result of a “would you push the button” prompt where the prompt was “you have unlimited godlike powers but you appear to all and sundry to be an impetuous child” – Zero, 2022
    The thing is...the 9/11 popstation was bad, but not in an entertaining way.

    It's offensive and disgusting for sure, but didn't provide a lot of comedic opportunities.
  • ProfessorGatorProfessorGator
    Remember back in the 50s when they'd record like Elvis singing YOU AIN'T NOTHIN BUT A HOUND DOG and then they'd turn the record over and reverse it and it was all NYERP NYERP NYERP NYERP NYERP and people were all like, "That is actually the voice of Satan coming from that song."
    Yeah, that's a good point. I mean, even the Peter Popoff letter had some comedic aspects to it, even if it was overall a horrible con artist scheme.
  • Princess AlicePrincess Alice
    You are the end result of a “would you push the button” prompt where the prompt was “you have unlimited godlike powers but you appear to all and sundry to be an impetuous child” – Zero, 2022
    Actually, thinking about it...

    The Peter Popoff letter isn't really a "product", per se, but if we count it, I'd say it's worse than the 9/11 game

    Because the 9/11 game was offensive and crass and tasteless, but ultimately mostly harmless in and of itself

    Whereas Popoff is a con man deliberately preying on people who are going through rough times :\
  • ProfessorGatorProfessorGator
    Remember back in the 50s when they'd record like Elvis singing YOU AIN'T NOTHIN BUT A HOUND DOG and then they'd turn the record over and reverse it and it was all NYERP NYERP NYERP NYERP NYERP and people were all like, "That is actually the voice of Satan coming from that song."
    Yeah, plus it's not quite as funny when you find out that on his infomercials, he encouraged people to throw away their life-saving medicines because Jesus would save them by taking all of their money. I mean seriously o_O
  • Previous CalicaPrevious Calica
    (flower path)
    The "Supernatural Debt Cancellation" thing is actually so stupid because it'll turn away skeptics and let them focus their information on easier marks.
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