FBI INVESTIGATION UNIT WA DC NEED PROOF FINAL NOTICES/N/

edited 2014-01-13 23:10:11 in General
ANTI-TERRORIST AND MONETARY CRIMES DIVISION
FBI HEADQUARTERS WASHINGTON DC
FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATIONS J.EDGAR HOOVER BUILDING
935 PENNSYLVANIA AVENUE, NW WASHINGTON, D.C. 20535-0001
Ref: FBI/DC/25/113/13/2013
 
Urgent attention needed
 
We have been informed through our global intelligence monitoring network that the sum of $10.500, 000.00, has been released from a bank in Africa bearing your name as the beneficiary without dist certificate to clear your name and fund from every terrorist or drug or money laundering activities
 
The bank knowing fully well that they do not have enough facilities to make this payment from any part of the world to your account directly, used what we know as a secret diplomatic transit payment (s.t.d.p) method to make the payment. direct transfers are difficult and secret diplomatic transit payment (s.t.d.p) are not usually made unless the funds are related to terrorist activities and we ask why must your payment be made in a secret transfer if your transaction is legitimate.
 
We do not want you to get into trouble as soon as these funds reflect in your personal account, so it is our duty as an international agency to correct these little problems before this fund reflects into your personal account.
 
we advice you to contact us immediately, as your funds have been stopped and are being held in our custody, until you are able to provide us with the dist certificate within 3 days from the country that authorized the transfer to certify that the funds that you are about to receive are terrorist/drug free or we shall have cause to impound the payment and subsequently prosecute you for cross border terrorist financial activites.
 
based on our findings, our investigative department wish to warn you against some miscreants, hoodlums and touts who go about scamming innocent people by claiming to be who they are not and thereby tarnishing the image of this wonderful country. By sending out fraudulent emails without our official logo and emblem we shall release your funds immediately we receive this legal document and we will ensure that you receive your payment without any further delay.
 
Note
 
We decided to contact you directly by email to acquire the proper verifications and proof from you to show that you are the rightful person to receive this fund, because of the huge amount involved. Be informed that the funds are now with a top bank in the united state in your name and under the monitoring/custody of the FBI. At the moment, we have asked the bank not to release the fund to anybody that comes to them, unless we instruct them to do so, and only if we receive the dist certificate this is to enable us carry out a comprehensive investigation first before releasing the fund to you.
 
hence, you are to forward your dist certificate to us immediately if you have it in your possession, if you do not have it, then let us know so that we will direct you to the appropriate authority to obtain the certificate then you are to send it to our office. And thereafter, we will instruct the bank holding the funds, to go ahead and credit your account immediately. If you fail to provide the documents to this office, we will prosecute you and take appropriate action against you for not proving the legality of the funds.
 
Finally if you truly want to receive this funds without F.B.I troubles then reconfirm the following below
Name
Address
Sex
Contact number
Country of origin of funds
 
Yours Faithfully
 
SPECIAL AGENT JUKE WILLIAMS
FOR FBI DIRECTOR
MR,JAMES B. COMEY

Comments

  • You are the end result of a “would you push the button” prompt where the prompt was “you have unlimited godlike powers but you appear to all and sundry to be an impetuous child” – Zero, 2022
    $10.500, 000.00, 
    what number is that even supposed to be
  • i like how they actually kept the whole bank in Africa thing

    it's like... a scam artist homage
  • why is the bank always in Africa?

    make it Europe, Asia, South America. Fuck, make it Antarctica. BE ORIGINAL.

    2.6/10 will not be receiving our Best New Spam award.
  • THIS MACHINE KILLS FASCISTS

     Finally if you truly want to receive this funds without F.B.I troubles then reconfirm the following below
    Name
    Address
    Sex
    Contact number
    Country of origin of funds 
    Homestar Runner 
    Homestar's house 
    Male, I think? There was that time I fell in love with Strong Bad...
    5675 116 
    Free Country USA
  • ^^ Probably because Africa has English-speaking countries and lawlessness.  Europe only has the former, while Asia and South America only have the latter.

    ...though they could try the south Asian subcontinent...
  • why is the bank always in Africa?

    make it Europe, Asia, South America. Fuck, make it Antarctica. BE ORIGINAL.

    2.6/10 will not be receiving our Best New Spam award.

    wikipedia says that the "nigerian prince" thing is actually designed to be fucking ridiculous, so that only the dumbest of marks will actually try it and risk eating up time if they don't pay out
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