Fruit Cake Jokes

Comments

• Tachyon

  2013-12-18 18:51:23

  ^{i will watch the heck outta this pumpkin patch}
  

  i don't recall ever hearing a joke about fruitcake
  
• Anonus

  2013-12-18 18:51:46

  I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat

  I've never even had fruitcake
• Tachyon

  2013-12-18 18:53:52

  ^{i will watch the heck outta this pumpkin patch}
  

  my mother makes it sometimes
  
  it's tasty
  
  although i prefer chocolate cake
  
• Odradek

  2013-12-18 18:54:35

  My dreams exceed my real life

  i don't recall ever hearing a joke about fruitcake
  

  
• Odradek

  2013-12-18 18:55:42

  My dreams exceed my real life

  My stepmom makes this every Christmas day.

  
  'tis pretty good.
• Tachyon

  2013-12-18 18:56:19 edited 2013-12-18 18:56:32

  ^{i will watch the heck outta this pumpkin patch}
  

  ^^ bizarre
  
  i guess he had bad fruitcake
  
• Haven

  2013-12-18 19:49:32 edited 2013-12-18 19:49:57

  Let me tell you. About Fallen London.

  
• Tre

  2013-12-18 21:53:35 edited 2013-12-18 21:55:24

  
  

  chocolate cakes & butter cakes & cakes with lots of spice

  layer cakes & angel cakes I think are very nice

  but when it comes to christmas cake can anyone dispute

  that when you bake a christmas cake it really should be

  sure it could be

  yes it would be

  positively

  absolutely

  must

  be

  made

  with

  fruit

  
  

  fruitcake

  
  

  sift the flour and fold in eggs

  
  

  now you add some lemon peel

  i would say a cup or 2

  then some raisins, dates and figs

  just how much is up to you

  
  

  pecans & walnuts & hazelnuts

  almonds & all other crazelnuts [sic]

  
  

  cinnamon, cinnamon, don't forget the cinnamon

  cloves & spice will make it nice but don't forget the cinnamon

  cinnamon, cinnamon, don't forget the cinnamon

  cloves & spice will make it nice but don't forget the cinnamon

  
  

  now you add some candied cherries

  glistening like christmas berries

  add some rum but just a drop

  then it's time to stop

  
  

  HAVE

  A

  BITE

  OF

  
  

  
  

  fruitcake

  
  

  mmmmmmm
• Alduin

  2013-12-18 22:31:27

  Man, fruitcake is like the Nickelback of food. Everyone seems to hate it, but outside all the hate you never really hear a lot about it.
• Anonus

  2013-12-18 22:40:41

  I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat

  I heard a Nickelback song at Office Depot today...
• SF_Sorrow

  2013-12-20 00:14:09

  
  

  on the other hand, I just tried some panettone, and it was pretty good
• Tachyon

  2013-12-21 03:37:31

  ^{i will watch the heck outta this pumpkin patch}
  

  fruit cake should not be notably hard
  
  what is this madness
  
• One-Winged Eagle

  2013-12-21 05:36:11

  Man is a most complex simple creature: see what he weaves, and how base his reasons for doing so.

  I just don't like it.
• Misery

  2013-12-21 05:40:06

  The sadness will last forever.

  Anonus said:

  I've never even had fruitcake

  
  
• Odradek

  2014-12-17 15:03:10

  My dreams exceed my real life

  My mom bought fruitcake this year.

  
  I will report back
• Imipolex G

  2014-12-17 18:14:27

  Touch the cow. Do it now.
  

  fruity as a nutcake
  
• eriophora zia

  2014-12-17 18:44:55

  I have cut a caper with the dancing mad god

  I've never had fruitcake, but based on my experiences with things such as carrot cake, I feel like it might be something I would enjoy. 
• Odradek

  2014-12-21 17:58:06

  My dreams exceed my real life

  I am eating it now.

  
  It tastes strange
• Odradek

  2014-12-21 17:59:03

  My dreams exceed my real life

  Takes a bit of getting used to, but not bad.
• Princess Alice

  2014-12-21 18:12:45

  You are the end result of a “would you push the button” prompt where the prompt was “you have unlimited godlike powers but you appear to all and sundry to be an impetuous child” – Zero, 2022

  I haven't had fruitcake in like a decade. I remember thinking it didn't live up to its reputation.
• lee4hmz

  2014-12-21 20:04:21 edited 2014-12-21 20:04:52

  ⚠ THIS MACHINE KILLS FASCISTS

  The closest thing I've had to fruitcake in recent memory would probably be a PowerBar Harvest with strawberries in.