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Learn History!

JumpingzombieJumpingzombie
edited 2013-11-07 13:36:23 in General
image

Okay, okay, my name’s really Rusty—but my friends call me Rush. Rush
Revere. Because I’ve always been the #1 fan of the coolest colonial dude
ever, Paul Revere. Talk about a rock star—this guy wanted to protect
young America so badly, he rode through those bumpy, cobblestone-y
streets shouting “the British are coming!” On a horse. Top of his lungs.
Wind blowing, rain streaming. . . .

Well, you get the picture. But what if you could get the real picture—by actually going back in time
and seeing with your own eyes how our great country came to be? Meeting
the people who made it all happen—people like you and me?

Hold on to your pointy triangle hats, because you can—with
me, Rush Revere, seemingly ordinary substitute history teacher, as your
tour guide across time! “How?” you ask? Well, there’s this portal. And a
horse. My talking horse named Liberty. And—well, just trust me, I’ll get us there.

We’ll begin by joining a shipload of brave families journeying on the Mayflower in 1620. Yawn? I don’t think so. 1620 was a pretty awesome time, and you’ll experience exactly what they
did on that rough, dangerous ocean crossing. Together, we’ll ask the
pilgrims all our questions, find out how they live, join them at the
first Thanksgiving, and much more.

So saddle up and let’s ride! Our exceptional nation is waiting to be discovered all over again by exceptional young patriots—like you!

Comments

  • AlirozAliroz
    ...And even when your hope is gone
    move along, move along, just to make it through
    (2015 self)
    Rush Limbaugh sounds angry all the time when he's on the radio.

    It's very cathartic to listen to someone so filled with crankiness.
  • Mr. DarcyMr. Darcy
    "It is a matter of grave importance that Fairy tales should be respected.... Whosoever alters them to suit his own opinions, whatever they are, is guilty, to our thinking, of an act of presumption, and appropriates to himself what does not belong to him." -- Charles Dickens

    ^^ My mind:

    image

  • lee4hmzlee4hmz
    ⚠ THIS MACHINE KILLS FASCISTS
    This is so deliriously illegal biznasty.
  • Justice4243Justice4243
    edited 2013-11-07 16:08:51
    READ MY CROSS SHIPPING-FANFICTION, DAMMIT!

    i get so angry sometimes i just punch plankton --Klinotaxis

    We’ll begin by joining a shipload of brave families journeying on the Mayflower in 1620. Yawn? I don’t think so. 1620 was a pretty awesome time


    The passage was a miserable one, with huge waves constantly crashing against the ship’s topside deck until a key structural support timber fractured. The passengers, who had already suffered agonizing delays, shortages of food and of other supplies, now were called upon to provide assistance to the ship’s carpenter in repairing the fractured main support beam. This was repaired with the use of a metal mechanical device called a jackscrew, which had been loaded on board to help in the construction of settler homes and now was used to secure the beam to keep it from cracking further, making the ship seaworthy enough.[11][12]

    ...

    There were two deaths, but this was only a precursor of what happened after their arrival in Cape Cod, where almost half the company would die in the first winter.[13]


    Rush, you and I have very different definitions of awesome.
  • Justice4243Justice4243
    READ MY CROSS SHIPPING-FANFICTION, DAMMIT!

    i get so angry sometimes i just punch plankton --Klinotaxis
    I can't even imagine how much cough syrup I'd have to consume to write like this...
  • Justice4243Justice4243
    READ MY CROSS SHIPPING-FANFICTION, DAMMIT!

    i get so angry sometimes i just punch plankton --Klinotaxis
    Typhus is totally rad, guys!
  • Mr. DarcyMr. Darcy
    "It is a matter of grave importance that Fairy tales should be respected.... Whosoever alters them to suit his own opinions, whatever they are, is guilty, to our thinking, of an act of presumption, and appropriates to himself what does not belong to him." -- Charles Dickens
    Can I learn history from Megaman's dog instead?
  • lee4hmzlee4hmz
    edited 2013-11-07 16:43:44
    ⚠ THIS MACHINE KILLS FASCISTS
    Mr. Darcy said:

    Can I learn history from Megaman's dog instead?

    How 'bout a rapping dog from a lackluster Italian animated film?

  • AlirozAliroz
    ...And even when your hope is gone
    move along, move along, just to make it through
    (2015 self)
    I'm still not convinced that "Titanic the animated movie with the rapping dog" is a real movie, done by real paid workers, as opposed to a prank that someone did.
  • Previous CalicaPrevious Calica
    (flower path)
    lol, rush limbaugh.  I think even Cracked's a better place to get a history lesson, since even they realize Revere's ride was actually kinda crappy, but his name scanned better.
  • JumpingzombieJumpingzombie
    lee4hmz said:

    This is so deliriously illegal biznasty.

    This is the best thing I've read/heard all day. And I had to have dinner with a buttload of English majors tonight.

    My favorite part is that I found this at my campus bookstore. And there were about 12 copies on the shelf.
  • lee4hmzlee4hmz
    ⚠ THIS MACHINE KILLS FASCISTS
    :D
  • HavenHaven
    Let me tell you. About Fallen London.
    spinor said:

    lol, rush limbaugh.  I think even Cracked's a better place to get a history lesson, since even they realize Revere's ride was actually kinda crappy, but his name scanned better.

    Man, "more informative than Rush Limbaugh" is one of the worst compliments I can imagine. 

    I'm not kidding, I just tried to think of some worse compliments and the only one I could come up with was "more testicles than Hitler".
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