Superman vs. Batman

Comments

• Yarrun XIX

  2013-10-05 20:47:04

  Whores! we want "poems that kill."
  Assassin poems, Poems that shoot
  guns. Poems that wrestle cops into alleys
  and take their weapons leaving them dead

  
• Hexartes

  2013-10-05 20:49:30

  Hooray for fetishization of inherited wealth.
• Imipolex G

  2013-10-05 21:13:23

  Touch the cow. Do it now.
  

  Batman did pretty well in The Dark Knight Returns
  
• Justice4243

  2013-10-05 21:36:10

  READ MY CROSS SHIPPING-FANFICTION, DAMMIT!
  
  i get so angry sometimes i just punch plankton --Klinotaxis
  

  Also The Dark Knight Strikes Again

  
  

  He had help in both instances

  
  

  But he did make synthetic kryptonite that evened the odds.

  
  

  So, according to Frank Miller, richness and enough time to research and exploit a physical god's weaknesses are enough.
• Previous Calica

  2013-10-05 22:17:42

  (flower path)

  Having a weakness to Kryptonite is pretty lame, to be honest.
• Alduin

  2013-10-05 22:26:26

  Prep time or no prep time?
• Salix Babylonika

  2013-10-05 22:27:09

  https://i.imgur.com/IoGc2jA.jpg

  They would both lose to Kamina.
  
• Hexartes

  2013-10-05 22:31:56

  Ludmila said:

  Neither would lose to Kamina.
  

  ftfy
• Tachyon

  2013-10-05 22:34:01

  ^{i will watch the heck outta this pumpkin patch}
  

  x vs y always depends on the writer
  
  it's never an interesting hypothetical
  
• Fossilmaiden

  2013-10-05 22:43:47

  Wee yea erra chs hymmnos mea.
  

  Pokémon X vs. Pokémon Y, who would win?
  
  :P
  
• Previous Calica

  2013-10-05 22:50:41

  (flower path)

  Cutxerk said:

  Ludmila said:

  Thymilph would not lose to Kamina.
  

  ftfy

  ftfy again

  
  

  remember ep 8 guise? :D
• nohaynicklibre

  2013-10-06 07:58:08

  Smee, Maiman, Doktar, Pavelier, Button-Lee, Juan Ovyu

  Squirrel Girl vs Dr. Strange
• MetaFour

  2013-10-06 14:44:22

  For once, or maybe twice, I was in my prime.

  If Supes were to strike preemptively and with lethal force, there would be no fight. He could shatter Batman's spine before Bruce can think, or he could fly into orbit and blast him with his heat-vision, or any number of other ways that I'm sure I'm forgetting.

  
  

  But that's a huge if. I don't think a preemptive, lethal attack is in character for Superman, and therein lies Batman's opportunity.

  
  

  But is a lethal attack really in-character for Batman, either?

  
  

  I posit that the only in-character way for Superman and Batman to settle their differences is a friendly match at the local bowling lane.
• Hexartes

  2013-10-06 18:05:23

  Which is why it's so annoying that everyone inexplicably thinks they would fight.
• Justice4243

  2013-10-06 18:12:02 edited 2013-10-06 18:12:08

  READ MY CROSS SHIPPING-FANFICTION, DAMMIT!
  
  i get so angry sometimes i just punch plankton --Klinotaxis
  

  In the Hush stroyline, they fight when Poison Ivy uses her plant powers to seduce Superman, but it's ultimately a standstill until Batman takes out Ivy.

  
  

  Batman only had a little bit of kryptonite, but even through Ivy's control, Superman simply couldn't bring himself to do any permanent damage.
• Tachyon

  2013-10-06 18:19:47

  ^{i will watch the heck outta this pumpkin patch}
  

  Cutxerk said:

  Which is why it's so annoying that everyone inexplicably thinks they would fight.

  i'm not sure anyone really does, i think it's more of a fanboy 'my fave character is better than yours' thing
  
• Justice4243

  2013-10-06 18:22:25

  READ MY CROSS SHIPPING-FANFICTION, DAMMIT!
  
  i get so angry sometimes i just punch plankton --Klinotaxis
  

  The DC universe is more than happy to make this a thing on multiple occasions. 
• Imipolex G

  2013-10-06 19:07:44

  Touch the cow. Do it now.
  

  I think it might be that it's a sort of interesting archetypal match: a near-godlike being vs. a highly resourceful human. God vs. man, or something like that.
  
• Hexartes

  2013-10-06 19:09:14

  's too bad everything in existence has done it before.
• Imipolex G

  2013-10-06 19:11:24

  Touch the cow. Do it now.
  

  Everything does it because it is awesome
  
• Aliroz

  2013-10-06 20:03:46

  ...And even when your hope is gone

  move along, move along, just to make it through

  (2015 self)

  Superman focuses his laser vision through batman's pupils and gives him a lobotomy, leaving him brain-dead.
  
  The end.
• Tachyon

  2013-10-06 20:07:53

  ^{i will watch the heck outta this pumpkin patch}
  

  that seems a little out of character
  
• Obā-san

  2013-10-06 20:08:46

  
  

  that is not how a lobotomy works bro
• Aliroz

  2013-10-06 20:09:59

  ...And even when your hope is gone

  move along, move along, just to make it through

  (2015 self)

  Jabberwock said:

  that seems a little out of character
  

  
  
  
  Thar's what makes it beautiful!
• Aliroz

  2013-10-06 20:11:24

  ...And even when your hope is gone

  move along, move along, just to make it through

  (2015 self)

  Le Chat Noir said:

  that is not how a lobotomy works bro

  
  He's Superman; reality doesn't come Into this.
• Yarrun XIX

  2013-10-06 20:28:08

  Whores! we want "poems that kill."
  Assassin poems, Poems that shoot
  guns. Poems that wrestle cops into alleys
  and take their weapons leaving them dead

  If Justice League has taught us anything, it's that laser-eye lobotomies must be done through the forehead and leave tiny holes.

  
  

  Man, I can't believe they had a lobotomy in that show. That show did not care about being kid-friendly, and I appreciate that.
• MetaFour

  2013-10-07 05:55:33

  For once, or maybe twice, I was in my prime.

  "Doomsday, as long as you're alive you will not stop trying to kill me. You will adapt to escape from any physical prison I place you in, and you've already adapted to recover from that lobotomy my alternate-universe counterpart gave you. As long as you're alive, you're dangerous and uncontrollable. You leave me no other choice. I'm going to banish you to an eternal, hellish existence in the Phantom Zone."

  
  

  <zap>

  
  

  "Problem solved, forever. Who wants milkshakes?"
• One-Winged Eagle

  2013-10-07 08:37:16

  Man is a most complex simple creature: see what he weaves, and how base his reasons for doing so.

  You can totally be kid-friendly by doing things that kids won't understand.