What's with those fasho continuity nietzschecomix? OR Odradek reads New 52

Salix Babylonika · 2013-08-25 17:53:16

Dial H

Odradek · 2013-08-25 17:54:54

I have one vote for Swamp Thing, Dial H, Suicide Squad, and two votes for Frankenstein.

Just to be clear, I've heard good things about Dial H and Frankenstein, bad things about Suicide Squad, and mixed things about Swamp Thing.

Sredni Vashtar · 2013-08-25 18:02:43

I thought that Dial H wasn't in the running. I might have to switch my vote...

Odradek · 2013-08-25 18:03:24

Sredni Vashtar said:
I thought that Dial H wasn't in the running. I might have to switch my vote...

Eh, it's been a while and it would just be nice to read something non-Voodoo.

Crystal · 2013-08-25 18:11:38

Dial H.

Obā-san · 2013-08-25 18:12:10

i change my vote to Dial H

Yarrun XIX · 2013-08-25 18:13:44

I'm still all for making Odradek suffer, as is the way of the internet critic.

But if you guys want to give him a break, I guess I'm down with that.

One-Winged Eagle · 2013-08-25 20:13:30

One of the best comics on that list is still Wonder Woman.

But if we want to make Myrmidon suffer, we should make him read Red Hood and the Outlaws.

Aliroz · 2013-08-25 22:07:25

I vote for Sandman.

Myr needs a break.

Yarrun XIX · 2013-08-25 22:09:41

I feel like Suicide Squad's on the right balance between bad and really bad. Just bad enough to be entertaining.

But I will vote for Dial H, since you guys seem bent on it. And unlike Australia, you can waster your vote on the internet.

Odradek · 2013-08-25 22:36:09

Aliroz said:
I vote for Sandman.

Myr needs a break.

I've read Sandman. Also I read Incredible Hercules in between updates of Voodoo, so I pacified myself that way.

Odradek · 2013-08-28 18:39:42

Okay, let's get ready for a reboot of a weird old comic nobody remembers lead by a talented writer with:

Okay so we start out with a vaguely ancient greek-looking army marching along a desert. A girl named Laodice watches, and goes to a small group of people who talk about how they have stayed here. I infer from this that the army is some conquering force and that these people are getting invaded and need to run away.

So anyway there's a decent-sized sculpture of what looks like half a sundial with steps leading up to it near the small group of people. Laodice starts telling them where to move it.

Laodice starts talking about how the object is generally viewed as a joke of a broken sundial, but she doesn't see it as such. She says it probably wasn't an accident that there are "ten sections instead of 12" and that "four of them together make a shield". Laodice talks about dreams she's had, and mentions that nobody believed her about the gods not abandoning their people. She moves her fingers over the symbols on the sundial

Something panics the people near her, and we get this:

The beast in the above page starts moving up to Laodice and I begin to revise my initial assumption: maybe the army was a guarding force, and they were trying to protect them from this thing. Laodice pushes one of the symbols and asks the noonday shadow to protect her.

Well that's something.

The beast starts chasing Bumper Carla, and she starts talking about how she's the protector of "the carousel". She careens off a cliff, then flies back and smacks the beast in the face into a crater.

Laodice turns back to normal, and a little girl embraces her and tells the crowd that she was right, and that she saved everyone. A soldier thanks her for saving their lives and Laodice refuses an offer to become the new queen.

So anyway, there's a timeskip and the little girl who is now a grown woman returns to see Laodice. She tells Laodice that she's consulted scholars far and wide, but none of them know anything about the sundial. The other woman also mentions that she heard someone was following her. It quickly turns out that Laodice captured the man who was following her, and that she believes him to be a wizard. Inside the man's cage, we hear him yelling at Laodice about danger, and he calls her "dialer".

Then they go back, and it turns out the sundial was broken when the beast got flung away by Bumper Carla.

Later that night, Bumper Carla breaks into the room with the sundial. Laodice shows up, and Bumper Carla calls her a murderer.

Can't make this stuff up, folks, but apparently China Mieville can.

China Mieville can also write a sex scene between a woman with a giant beetle for a head, and an overweight scientist, but that's another story, which will be told another time, if ever.

So Carla starts talking to the man in the cage, who she calls Slim. Carla says that she will take the alloted punishment for what she's done, which is apparently imprisonment in the "still zone" but she's not sorry and firmly believes Laodice was a murderer, but mentions that Laodice might not have known.

So Slim expositions that Carla and he were from another world, where Carla was "the spirit of the fair" who protected their world. He mentions a time when Carla's powers disappeared and people died as a result. Carla became obsessed with the idea that something leeched her spirit in the moment she lost her powers, and began seeking out the culprit. Slim says he believes that was impossible because nothing could possibly do that, so he went after her to warn the person she believed did it. He apologizes for what happened, and teleports away.

So ends the prequel chapter to Dial H for Hero.

MAN am I glad this isn't Voodoo.

One-Winged Eagle · 2013-08-28 20:10:14

Have I ever mentioned that I'm really glad that Dial H was revived? We need this weirdness.

Also so it seems that the Dial steals power from otherdimensional heroes? That's interesting.

Odradek · 2013-09-12 11:00:54

*blows dust off of liveblog*

Sorry about the wait, I've been busy with school. Updates should come this weekend.

Odradek · 2013-09-15 14:10:15

Time to dial some more H's.

In an apartment in the city of Littleville, two men discuss a recent heart attack that one of them had.

ADVENTURE HO!

One, a chubby black-haired guy in a track suit begs the one who had a heart attack to start eating healthier and quit smoking. Nelson, the guy who had the heart attack, is apparently a down-on-his luck former boxer who seems to be slowly killing himself, and his friend is very concerned about his health. The other guy, Darren, walks away in exasperation and we see that the city of Littleville is apparently on some pretty hard times.

Nelson feels bad about yelling at Darren, so he runs after him. He finds Darren being beaten up by some goons on the orders of one "Mr. X" because this takes place in the DC universe where you can be a criminal and have a name like that without people laughing.

Darren tries to call for help from a nearby payphone, and a bright flash of light is seen leading tooooooo

Boy Chimney proceeds to kick some thug ass through use of smoke and his cane, while speaking in a weird free form poetry dialect.

I realize these are thugs, but I'm wondering if I didn't accidentally open up Dial V for Villain.

Boy Chimney blasts off, and sees psychic visions all across the city with his ability to see wherever smoke is. Then he remembers that he left Darren behind and goes back.

So anyway, Boy Chimney picks up Darren, and a yellow dialogue box that seems to be the voice of Nelson tells him to stop killing the thugs, and Boy Chimney spares their life because "offhandedly is no way to kill"

He drops Darren off with some paramedics and quickly turns back to Nelson on a nearby rooftop.

Meanwhile, some bald guy is talking to someone on a phone. He discusses the last night's events and speculates on who dealt with the thugs. The person he's talking to names some possible culprits amongst DC Superheroes, but bald guy thinks it's someone new, as no weird smoke based superhero seems to fit the bill.

Meanwhile in the hospital, Darren mentions that someone named Vernon Boyne might be behind this. Outside, Nelson chats with a psychologist who was sent because Darren was saying weird things. I don't know what constitutes weird things in a world with supers, but apparently Darren was saying them.

Back at the phonebooth, Nelson tries to figure out what he dialed to summon whatever he did. He figures it out(he uses the letters IFSO or the number 4376), and a new hero is summoned. Words cannot express the next two pages.

So the zombie thing in the last panel attacks the good Captain and Nelson finds out he can't make it sad. He leaves but first tells Baldy to stay away from Darren Hirsch.

Some shadowy figures in a laboratory, a man whose face is not seen due to obstructions and a man in a hazmat suit hear about this, and order Darren's death. Ooops.

Nelson thinks about what he's learned about the phonebooth and what he's going to do and realizes 4376 spells another word: HERO.

Justice4243 · 2013-09-15 14:17:01

Huh...

Confusing, but interesting.

Obā-san · 2013-09-15 14:22:56

Boy Chimney has the most amazing hat

Odradek · 2013-09-15 15:15:06

BTW this was cancelled just recently.

It did, however, outlast Voodoo by a few months.

Yarrun XIX · 2013-09-15 16:18:41

Boy Chimney is the best nightmare.

Lord Lachrymose (let's be honest, that should have been his name) has an odd outfit but a cool power. Reminds me of that one guy from The Eternals (Druig) who could pinpoint traumatic moments in a person's past and use them against them.

One-Winged Eagle · 2013-09-15 19:26:13

Bumpa Carla is still the best so far though.

Justice4243 · 2013-09-21 01:00:50

Odradek said:
BTW this was cancelled just recently.

It did, however, outlast Voodoo by a few months.

How far did Voodoo get?

One-Winged Eagle · 2013-09-21 06:13:13

Comicvine tells me thirteen issues. Dial H has sixteen so far.

Justice4243 · 2013-09-21 12:03:51

kingCrackers said:
Comicvine tells me thirteen issues. Dial H has sixteen so far.

...

Myr, I love you buddy, but I think you need to finish Voodoo.

You are three issues of agonizing story writing away from the finish line.

I will, however, accept the plot relevant pages being posted followed by paragraphs and paragraphs of "butts, butts, butts, butts, butts", etc...

Odradek · 2013-09-21 12:12:48

Fiiiiiine, I'll do another Dial H issue and then next weekend I'll marathon through all three last issues of Voodoo.

Justice4243 · 2013-09-21 12:16:26

Yay!

Odradek · 2013-09-21 19:05:55

Shamanticore is the best superhero.

So we start with Nelson breaking up a robbery as a weird little red goblin creature called Skeet. He reflects that all of his identities stay with him in a weird way, and his default self is just becoming his worst identity.

Back at the hospital Darren explains why he was beaten up. He skipped out on a breaking and entering job for a guy named Vernon, and Vernon's mysterious boss, a person who only goes by X. N. Darren mentions that's there's been an epidemic of comas, and his crew robs people who fall into mysterious comas. Darren notes that a superhero had been hassling their crew, which is weird because Nelson only became a superhero after seeing Darren getting beaten up for not doing his job.

Nelson tries to call someone named Julie but she doesn't want to talk. I'm assuming she's an ex-girlfriend. It turns out Darren said that they were going back to a certain apartment that night, so Nelson is going to get there before them and spring a trap.

So leaving aside the magic lady attacking Nelson, there's an interesting detail here. Nelson can't remember what his power in this form is. Some forms seem to have stronger personalities that overtake Nelson more than others do.

So the lady gets some hits in, but Nelson reveals that this form is called Ctrl-Alt-Del and can "reboot" things.

So CAD recovers some of the damage the lady dealt and she seems to lose her powers and she runs away. Nelson taunts her on her way out that shows some serious false bravado.

So a guy with a weird apparatus over his face and a guy with a gas mask are hearing about Nelson's defeat of "Manteau" the magic lady. Ex Nihilo, the guy with the weird stuff on his face sends in gas mask to deal with the new superhero. Gas mask does not take kindly to being ordered around.

Gas mask does not fuck around. I think the idea is that GM is a demon or some kind of mystic entity EN summoned. This'll probably end up being related to the Dial.

Nelson does some Noir musing on how the city shuts down everything in the end, and ponders using the Dial to try to turn into some brilliant mind to figure this all out, but decides he'll probably get another bizarre random superhero who's not that useful for what he wants to do, like normal.

Nelson gets news that Darren is being attacked in his hospital bed, and nobody can get in to help him, so he rushes to the dial.

It seems to be too late. Darren is dead and the thugs from the last issue including Baldy(who I think is Vernon) are hanging around the hospital. Iron Snail starts kicking their asses but an unmasked Gas Mask shows up.

Ouch ouch ouch. Right in the soul.

Gas mask reveals he's called The Squid. He shoots poison ink at The Iron Snail, but it doesn't work. Suddenly, Nelson feels himself begin to turn back, and runs away. Squid orders his goons to follow Nelson but not actually apprehend him. They see Nelson's true form and see him hail a taxi.

This lady is the psychologist I briefly mentioned in my recap of the first issue, by the way. I initially thought Squid was saying she was Ex Nihilo, but I'm not sure. She could just think Ex Nihilo is the Iron Snail.

So Nelson gets back to the Dial, but someone got there before him.

One-Winged Eagle · 2013-09-21 19:36:42

Man wait till you meet Baroness Resin.

Justice4243 · 2013-09-21 21:22:16

I giggled at the CAD reference.

Odradek · 2013-09-28 19:33:01

It turns out there are 12 issues of Voodoo in total, not 13.

Butts.

So anyway Voodoo fights some stone giants while talking about how fighting and dancing are the same, which is why that chick from Showgirls could beat up the guy from Roadhouse.

Anyway the Black Razors are shooting some aliens and acting like dicks. Pris senses Voodoo and goes after her to get away from these douchebags.

So anyway Voodoo leads the stone giants towards the stupid aliens in order to slip into the building while they're distracted. This is also like being a stripper, somehow.

Anyway the aliens kill some of the douchey deadmeat Black Razors

Anyway Pris feels sorry for Voodoo because lol bad writing and the giants are still killing aliens.

The alien chief comes and asks if they've been sent to help, and the Razor makes a ghostbusters reference and why the fuck is there a scene in Ghostbusters where Ray Stanz gets a ghost blowjob how does that make sense WHATEVER VOODOO

Also Voodoo is near the Blue Flame now I didn't mention that because I don't care.

Odradek · 2013-09-28 19:47:41

Anyway some monologueing about things we already know happens. And then Voodoo and Pris fight some more.

Anyway some Black Razors are asking where's Poochie That chick from Species That chick from Under the Skin that chick from Spliced The THing Voodoo and whatever they find her.

Anyway Voodoo and Pris mind meld and this happens

A lot of exposition I am NOT READING YOU CAN'T MAKE ME

Anyway Voodoo gets the Blue Flame but the alien chief knocks her out and Pris grabs it.

So anyway they fly away and Pris says Voodoo is dead.

Haha callback to dead end in issue zero hahaha fuck you Voodoo writers.

So anyway Lincoln is watching Pris train and says she reminds him of Jess DON'T YOU DESECRATE JESS'S MEMORY WRITERS OF VOODOO FUCK YOU

So Lincoln gives the flame to someone who cares who and

OH NO

YOU DID NOT JUST RIPOFF THE ENDING TO CHRONICLES OF RIDDICK

AAJGIDOSGJDSIOGJDIOSGJDSIOGJDSIOGJDSIOJGIODSGJDSIOGJDSIOJGSIODGJDSIOJGI

Justice4243 · 2013-09-28 20:06:08

My God, it's full of shit...

Justice4243 · 2013-09-28 20:07:34

Anyhow, thanks for limping over the finish line here.

I can't believe how absolutely terrible the last issue is in pretty much every conceivable way, about half of it makes no sense.

Also, with the # issue. 0-12 issues = 13 issues total.

Odradek · 2013-09-28 20:09:57

Ohhhhhhh.

Yarrun XIX · 2013-09-28 20:13:55

Voodoo is smiling in that muck of exposition.

Why is that

Justice4243 · 2013-09-28 20:24:42

So I read that massive spread of convenient plot exposition that which basically was an understudy for dramatic tension. An understudy that spent all it's time practicing it's lines for another role in the comic, and is now going to have an embarrassing time trying to spit out half remembered lines all play.

Basically it's just "blah-blah with the blue flame I am totally a legitimate threat to the DC earth so I should totes be taking seriously."

And then her double rolls her on the spot, it looks like.

Honestly, it's for the best. If Pris can get the better of her, how embarrassing is it going to be when she shows up on earth with the blue flame and Best Boy beats her at her own game by turning into a whale and landing on her?

Yarrun XIX · 2013-09-28 20:44:25

Beast Boy is Best Boy

Odradek · 2013-09-28 20:49:45

Justice4243 said:
And then her double rolls her on the spot, it looks like.

It was the alien chief that knocked her out, actually.

Justice4243 · 2013-09-28 20:55:55

...That's possibly sadder...

Odradek · 2014-01-23 15:34:16

Update on the Myrmisphere.

The goosebumps thing is abandoned now. I've just run out of steam on it. I know you guys liked it, but it was a lot of work.

I want to get back to my New 52 Liveblog, and will do so as soon as I finish the Jojo retrospective. I've been busy with college but I'm aiming at one part a day over the three day weekend.

Odradek · 2014-01-27 17:12:04

Update comes as soon as I'm done reading the next issue of Dial H.

You might want to read the past summaries for a refresher.

Odradek · 2014-01-27 17:43:24

Not looking good there, Nelson.

Okay so some thugs shoot the phone booth and break off the dial. Nelson tries to use it but can't. The masked lady turns into a weird superhero who has firehose arms and hydrant legs. Nelson rips off the dial from the phone booth, and the masked lady uses jet propulsion with her firehose arms to launch off with Nelson and escape the thugs.

It's this kind of stuff that makes Dial H better than Voodoo. Along with not being terribly sexist, having a better plot, a more likable protagonist I could go on for hours so I should just stop.

The thugs report that they've escaped to Ex Nihilo, who it turns out, is, in fact, a lady. This causes EN and Squid to monologue about their motives.

So Nelson and the masked lady get to the lady's house. It turns out that the lady is using the Dial too, and using her mask and robes to hide her transformations. Nelson jokes that her name might be Extinguishess, but the lady insists her name is Manteau and that this fact is important. I'm guessing this has something to do with the effects the Dial has on your sense of identity. Manteau, according to wiktionary, means cloak.

So Manteau reveals she has her own Dial and she might be able to fix Nelson's. Then things go into National Treasure mode:

The plot thickens a lot in this issue. I'm guessing this "O" has a relation to the emptiness Squid was talking about.

Manteu asks Nelson what his biggest fight was, and he suddenly goes into a psychedelic flashback of a fight Boy Chimney fought with a bunch of other house-themed superheroes against "The Rake Dragon"

I cannot make this up.

Anyway, Nelson collapses as a result of this. Manteu explains what I suspected: the cloak and mask are to give her a solid identity whatever her powers currently are.

Meanwhile Ex Nihilo and Squid are setting out to do something. They say a lot of vague stuff about Squid's "Companion" and residue and how Squid is obsessed with thinking like a human that I don't quire understand yet. There are two zombies in the back of their car that are "openings" because "they saw something". They get to the apartment of a man who Ex Nihilo contacted. Things do not go well for him.

Like a mother bird feeding its young.

So Nelson is at the gym and gets a call from Manteau who wants to see him. At her house, Manteau reveals she's tracking stories related to the Dial. She also reveals that her job as a telephone engineer helps her do this.

Manteau has found out about what happened to King. She gives Nelson the Dial, but it's not quite fixed and he can't do a real transformation. Manteau tells him Squid and Ex Nihilo are connected to the coma patients and he should try again. This results in a new transformation Nelson is not huge on.

Anyway EN and Squid are experimenting on King. EN explains that stories like the one King's brother told him are vectors for something to come into the world that she can use. Manteau and Baroness Resin break in just as a giant humanoid star being is birthed from King's mouth.

Uh-oh.

One-Winged Eagle · 2014-01-27 18:45:49

Man I love that page. Posted it on...IJBM? I forget.

"Woman up."

Odradek · 2014-01-27 21:55:34

kingCrackers said:
Man I love that page. Posted it on...IJBM? I forget.

"Woman up."

It is a pretty great page.

Tachyon · 2014-01-27 23:30:12

Odradek · 2014-01-28 12:41:36

So we start with Squid flashing back to his past. He describes himself as endlessly following through repeating sequences of different dimensions. One day. Ex Nihilo stopped him at our dimension.

Back to the present day, the emptiness being starts talking in very strange ungrammatical english and Ex Nihilo says she's going to bind it, and zaps it with some kind of gun. Squid says she's making it angry and pleads with it to see reason, but the being zaps him with dark energy. Manteau throws a chair at the being and it disappears.

Nelson reverts to his normal form, and Ex Nihilo knocks out Manteau. She doesn't seem to care about Nelson at all.

I have a feeling our hero has a way to go in the "hero" department.

Nelson survives being squirted with Squid's fluid, just like he does in my fanfics. He gets out before the cops arrive. He goes back to Manteau's appartment and sees on the news that the police have their hands full dealing with the emptiness being.

Back at Ex Nihilo's hideout, Manteau is on some kind of surgical gurney. EN says she wishes she was a soothsayer instead of a Nullomancer so she could just divine the truth, but says that because she is not a soothsayer, she has to use different methods. Cue zapping time.

Meanwhile, Squid starts talking about how the emptiness being, whose name is Abyss, was banished by Dial-users, one of whom was King's brother. Squid says Abyss is different and asks EN to stop, as Manteau doesn't know anything. He starts reeling from the wounds he took earlier, but EN just ignores him. EN reveals she wants to use the Dial herself.

Meanwhile, TIME FOR THE MOST OVERUSED QUOTE EVER

Squid is probably the most intriguing character so far, IMO.

So Squid shows Nelson that he has holes going straight through his body. Then he starts talking about his motives.

You see, Squid wants to go home. His people are, as he describes them "null-herders, void-wranglers" on their home plane, they capture beings from "the unplace" train them, and use them as beasts of burden. One day, Squid captured a void, that he used to "ride to the other end of the universe and bring back treasure" He rode it everywhere, until it was telling him where to go.

It turns out Abyss feeds on light. And the light it likes most is the way light glints through the facets of jewels. Squid was banished not for any great crime, but for stealing jewelry. Unfortunately, Abyss has come back insane, and now it just wants to eat and eat and eat. Ex Nihilo thinks she can control it. Squid says she can't, but he's too hurt to stop her. But she thinks Nelson is dead, and doesn't know he has a dial. Nelson says the dial is still broken and only Manteau can fix it, but Squid has a plan.

Nelson actually does pretty good. He is a former boxer, so he still has some muscle under that fat. They find Manteau without her mask, and it turns out she's an old lady. They manage to rescue her.

Meanwhile, EN is fighting Abyss as some kind of pink velociraptor robot. Abyss opens up his chest and EN sees Squid helping Manteau and Nelson. She leaps through Abyss who can be used as a portal and calls Squid a traitor, as our issue ends.

Yarrun XIX · 2014-01-28 12:49:14

RESCUE JACK

One-Winged Eagle · 2014-01-28 22:24:45

Worst luchadora ever.

Yarrun XIX · 2014-01-28 22:27:55

Honestly, I just want that last panel to be the cover of a Golden-Age Comic Book.

Odradek · 2014-01-29 19:30:27

Squid holds Ex Nihilo off while Manteau and Nelson escape. Nelson gets Manteau up to speed on what's going on. EN uses nullomancy to aggravate the wounds Squid got from Abyss.

So Nelson gets Manteau home and they finally introduce themselves to each other as Nelson Jent and Roxie Hodder, respectively.

Manteau tells Nelson about her backstory. Back in the 60s she was a hardcore hippy working on the history of Telephony. During her research, she found the Dial.

Meanwhile, as it turns out, Ex Nihilo is meeting up with Abyss as the personification of eighties Metal.

So Manteau takes the dial and hopes she gets something powerful like "Atavist, Timekiller, or Girl Eclipse". Nelson says he should go, they start arguing, and Nelson says they should flip a coin. While Manteau is doing this, Nelson grabs the dial and transforms.

I'm not sure why Nelson is doing this. It could be that he feels he should be the one to be in danger, or he feels he can do it better, or he doesn't want an old lady to shoulder the burden. Whatever it is, Manteau sees the tranformation and says "We're screwed"

I really like this comic guys.

Cock-A-Hoop uses his hula hoop power to dizzy EN while Manteau finds out that Squid is still barely alive. Then a helicopter shows up and fires missiles at Abyss. This does precisely squat.

Cock-A-Hoop spins and confuses a young nothing birthed from Abyss. Ex Nihilo sends it off and it attacks Abyss. Manteau yells that this is a good strategy and EN should keep trying because Abyss ain't listening to her.

Cock-A-Hoop exposits that back where they come from, the nothings have nothing to hunt but each other. Squid says that when nothing eats nothing, something results and sure enough, Abyss's arm turns to stone and drops off of it's body. Nelson loses his power and reverts back to normal, but EN seems to have done the job.

The new person switches from form to form, and knocks the dial off of EN, who changes back to normal. She drops to the ground and dies as Squid monologues

So Nelson speculates that the quick changes they saw the mysterious dialer using was what the Dial was intended to do, instead of the broken way Manteau and Nelson have been using it for. Nelson says that the Dialer is hunting for dials, and fears what it will do once it figures out Nelson still has one.

Tachyon · 2014-01-29 19:50:42

cock-a-hoop!

this comic is amazing

What's with those fasho continuity nietzschecomix? OR Odradek reads New 52

Comments

Howdy, Stranger!

Categories