What's with those fasho continuity nietzschecomix? OR Odradek reads New 52

Justice4243 · 2013-07-20 12:49:26

Well, I suppose they're hoping the story is compelling enough, but I don't think they're going anywhere.

There's basically two shape-shifting, killing machines just running around, and the all anyone can spare to deal with it is a bunch of nobodies, a C-list villain, and MAYBE an A-lister if he or she is in the neighborhood and happens to have nothing better to do at the time.

I guess there's now the plot where Voodoo now knows the weaknesses of of of the heroes; but she has no motivation to go after them unless they happen to be after her, as far as I can tell. And being a ship-shifting telepath who knows the weaknesses of many heros, oddly enough, still means she has less to work with than most of their villains.

Odradek · 2013-07-20 13:20:49

This is probably a plot that worked better in the Wildstorm-verse, although I never read the original Voodoo or any Wildstorm title so I can't say for sure.

Imipolex G · 2013-07-20 17:10:17

Odradek said:

Justice42 said:

I wonder what it says that I've been reading this comic for five issues now and the question of whom I'm supposed to sympathize with hasn't occurred to me.

I've been wondering about it myself...

Yarrun XIX · 2013-07-20 22:02:04

I see the hoop earrings have disappeared. That's another smack for the editor.

Justice4243 · 2013-07-20 22:18:55

Yarrun XIX said:
I see the hoop earrings have disappeared. That's another smack for the editor.

She asked a pair of orphaned twins for directions,then used the earrings to choke them to death after she got them.

Imipolex G · 2013-07-20 22:23:58

COMIC BOOKS

Yarrun XIX · 2013-07-20 23:37:01

Then that event should have been referred to, amd the writers need a smack.

Someone's getting smacked, you have to understand.

Aliroz · 2013-07-21 10:29:07

SMACKKKKASMACKASMACK!

Odradek · 2013-07-22 18:39:32

This is an okay cover idea, even if it's a bit hard to make out the details(is Voodoo biting off a tentacle? Who knows)

Okay, so we start with two guys at a dig-site of some kind talking about nothing, who are then immediately killed by Voodoo. Voodoo notes that they didn't need to die and are just following orders.

Underneath the dig-site is a spaceship. Voodoo says this is the Daemonite ship that brought her and other hybrids to earth. Voodoo is gonna use it as a radio to transmit the data she learned from the Black Razors. Inside, this happens

Not sure if this means that Voodoo has been using her psychic powers in conjunction with her boobs or not. I don't know whether that makes this slightly less stupid.

Blondie is revealed to be a Daemonite which would indicate that they can shapeshift and makes it even more confusing that they made hybrids. Blondie, is, in fact angry that they sent in hybrids instead of pure-blood Daemonites, thus making him a space racist. Voodoo indicates that there was some prophecy about the use of hybrids which is a handwave if I've ever seen one. She goes beastmode and attacks Blondie, who misses with his laser rifle at point blank range.

Back at a Black Razor base, Jess is packing up her stuff in a box. A footnote indicates that the Black Razors are an organization that hunts rogue alien technology that threatens mankind. This would have been nice to know IN THE FIRST FUCKING ISSUE OF THIS COMIC THEY APPEARED IN.

Black Jack walks in and says that he's disappointed in Jess for walking out, because he respects and likes her and thinks she shouldn't give up. Black Jack should just get his own comic, because he seems like the most decent person in this comic. Although maybe he's a crazy misogynist military supervillain? I dunno.

Black Jack sends out a beam of black energy that destroys the box Jess was packing up in. Then he starts ranting about how he and the Black Razors should have been able to beat Voodoo, at which point Jess suddenly realizes something and they speed off.

Voodoo and Daemonite Guy continue fighting and arguing about the fate of the Daemonite race. Voodoo decides she's gonna have to read DG's mind to beat him. This happens:

Uh?

Vitruvian Voodoo?

DG says that she just did something previously considered impossible, and Voodoo turns into Grifter. Because DG, who's real name is Ruewin is apparently afraid of Grifter. Then she reverts to her default form because she's been abusing her transformation powers. Ruewin calls her weak for letting Jess live, and Voodoo says the feeling she absorbed from Evans were too strong. Ruewin calls her weak for learning mercy and then Voodoo makes him pull a Mami Tomoe.

Voodoo starts uploading the information to the Daemonites while denying she cares about the humans. Oh God, please let this comic not expect me to start sympathizing with Voodoo.

Meanwhile, Black Jack and Evans are running off to some super-secret base. Jess starts talking about a prisoner scheduled for execution they need to get information out of, while Voodoo finds some new information on the chip she stole from the Razors. They both find out simultaneously that Voodoo is a clone and SURPRISE! Pris: Original flavor is in Razor captivity!

One-Winged Eagle · 2013-07-22 20:20:38

At the left-hand side the three visions are that of other Wildstorm characters. At the top is Grifter, Voodoo's WildCAT team-mate. In the middle is Stormwatch, who back then were a UN-appointed team of superheroes to solve international crises, but now are a group of secretive superhumans who quietly protect the earth under the auspices and guidance of malevolent dead people. I don't know who the baby is, though.

Also, you know why the Daemonites needed hybrids? Because the centuries ago a squad of Daemonites and their mortal enemies - the super-powerful super-sexy super-arrogant Kherubim - crash-landed on earth and couldn't get home. So the Daemonites inspired demons and cthonian gods whilst the Kherubim inspired angels and Olympians, and they continued their secret war through half-breed proxies.

And as it turns out, those groups had been fighting for centuries while the real war back on Khera was long won. Remember those soldiers in Vietnam who still thought the war was going on years after it ended? Yeah, like that.

Odradek · 2013-07-22 20:29:00

Well that is interesting and a legitimately cool plot idea. I assume none of this is still DC canon?

Yarrun XIX · 2013-07-22 20:33:00

*Grudgingly admits that Voodoo produced a decent issue*

^^ Now see, that would be cool if DC actually explained any of this stuff inside the comic.

Wouldn't it be cooler if we opened on ancient mythology and centuries-old origins instead of a lame escape sequence?

One-Winged Eagle · 2013-07-22 21:57:21

As far as I know the Kherubim are no longer in continuity. Which makes sense, because among the named Kherubim was Mr. Majestic, a Superman clone, and Zealot, a Wonder Woman clone. The DC Universe doesn't need two races of super-powerful super-advanced super-attractive aliens.

And with the Kherubim no longer a part of the universe (right now, anyway), I wonder why the Daemonites are there at all.

Odradek · 2013-07-23 19:00:07

That's some weird perspective.

So Clone!Voodoo goes through strandard Post-Finding Out You Are A Clone Stress Disorder and stops the upload to the Daemonites. Instead she blows up the ship and jumps through a portal and starts thinking about how she's gonna get answers before giving the Daemonites the information.

Meanwhile, Jess and Black Jack are planning to break Pris out to get information they need. Jess tells Black Jack not to kill anyone, and Black Jack beamspams a bunch of soldiers with powers. None of them are obviously dead, so I guess he's following orders, but he flips a tank over so I don't know for sure. Jess shows up in some kind of power armor to help him out.

I like the armor Jess has. It looks like a spider, and it's distinctive.

Meanwhile on the Daemonite ship, Trucker Pimp and co head out on some unspecified mission. Kyle Rayner shows up, but Trucker Pimp sees right through the ruse and Kyle is revealed to be a disguised Voodoo. Trucker Pimp says the Daemonites are looking for Voodoo, and Voodoo asks for an audience with the war council. Also apparently something big happened on earth, which is probably revealed in a tie-in comic or something. Trucker Pimp starts laughing at Voodoo for fucking up so hard and Voodoo reacts in a way we've come to expect from her.

Then she gives conservation of mass the finger and does this

So Voodoo lets the two hybrid ladies live after she realizes they don't know anything because, despite everything, she says she still believes in the cause.

Meanwhile, back on earth Pris is being moved from one prison to the next, and an apologetic scientist talks about how the Razors need to be safe and keep her in captivity. Before he can tranquilize her, Jess and Black Jack break in, guns blazing.

Now released, Pris says she can't walk and sprouts wings to fly away with Black Jack and Jess.

Meanwhile, someone gets a call about the prison break:

I hope, when the Voodoo animated series comes out, this guy is voiced by Cam Clarke.

Some Daemonites who are pissed off about Voodoo going rogue in the non-Sarah Palin way try to stop her. Voodoo tries to fight them off, but they gang up on her.

I was right about tie-in comics, BTW.

So Voodoo bursts into the War Council covered in blue blood and demands answers. The comic ends here.

Also, the Voodoo animated series should totally have this as the opening theme song.

Yarrun XIX · 2013-07-23 19:11:39

Okay, this is actually getting interesting.

Still don't particularly care for the characters, but at least they're being interesting. Or dying.

One-Winged Eagle · 2013-07-23 19:25:21

Back in the day, the Blackhawks were a team of World War 2 pilots of varying nationalities who would fly Grumman Skyrockets out of their island base and fight the Axis Powers, pirates of the air, and other such evil.

Pre-New 52, the Blackhawks founded a courier service after the war and time-displaced Lady Blackhawk joined the Birds of Prey, becoming one of the best characters on the title.

Post-New 52, they're a high-tech team of military professionals who fight dangerous emergent technologies. The characters had some really weird codenames, like a Ukranian with red hair named "Irish" and a computer-genius named "Wildman". The title didn't see many sales, so it got canceled.

Yarrun XIX · 2013-07-23 19:31:52

And what's the point of building a sparring robot that can be broken so easily?

Isn't durability a goal when making a robot?

Aliroz · 2013-07-23 20:12:33

Some robots, like certain puzzles, were made to be broken.

Odradek · 2013-07-29 20:20:34

So Black Jack, Jess, and Pris stop to rest in what I assume is a sewer. It turns out that Pris already knows about Voodoo via guard chatter, and wants to kill her for stealing her life.

Meanwhile, Voodoo kills another Daemonite and demands to know about her past. The Daemonites negotiate with terrorists by telling her that they will, and leading her to some chamber. In the chamber are multiple vat-grown hairless clones of both genders wearing shorts and sports bras to protect their modesty. The Daemonite Voodoo is with tells her that humans are unique in the universe for having the ability to gain superpowers via accident or weird science thing. Voodoo herself is a successful attempt to replicate superpowers in a human-Daemonite hybrid, which is why she can change into multiple forms and do other stuff the other hybrids can't do.

Apparently, they don't elaborate on some of this stuff.

Daemonite guy says that they're gonna have to reprogram Voodoo, and a bunch of failed experiments that look like dinosaur people attack.

Meanwhile, Black Jack's crew get to the secret bunker. Black Jack contacts Lincoln(the blond Liquid Snake looking guy from last issue) and reveals his real name and rank are "Major Bolton". Lincoln says that he and Black Jack go way back, and he was the one who recommended Black Jack for the "power upgrade" in the first place so he'll trust Jack and Jess to sort this out, even though they've gone rogue. I don't know why he feels the need to tell Black Jack his own history with him, but he does.

Meanwhile, Pris goes over to thank Jess, and Jess says it's the least she could do. Then this happens.

Priscilla Kitaen: Biting the hand that feeds her since this issue.

Meanwhile, Voodoo has blown a hole in the ship to get rid of the failed experiments, but it only takes out one. Then she kills another one while monologuing about feeling bad for them. Then she starts quoting middle school poetry while voicing the thoughts of many Spider-Man fans during the 90s.

Voodoo starts killing the other clones by breaking their tanks, and the Daemonite tells her to stop.

The Daemonite plays his trump card and tells Voodoo that despite all this, she's still a believer in "the prophecy" and offers to make her supreme commander of all the hybrids. Voodoo seems taken aback.

Meanwhile, Black Jack and the Funky Bunch are over at the canyon where the space ship blew up. Turns out Pris can sense emotions Voodoo felt at this spot for some reason. When they find nothing and this all seems like a dead end, Pris shouts to the heavens asking where they are and why they did this to her. Suddenly, a portal opens in front of them and Voodoo shows up.

Voodoo is mildly surprised to see Pris, which pisses the latter right the hell off. Voodoo tries to explain that she and Pris are both victims in all of this, but Black Jack decides it's time to fight. Voodoo starts an internal monologue about how she's still loyal to the Daemonites while fighting Black Jack, and Black Jack announces he's willing to kill her and bring her back in a body bag. Then there's a splash of blood and....

GOD

FUCKING

DAMMIT

One-Winged Eagle · 2013-07-29 20:37:02

So who's the main character of this story again?

Odradek · 2013-07-29 20:37:53

kingCrackers said:
So who's the main character of this story again?

I have no idea.

Yarrun XIX · 2013-07-29 21:08:15

-throws hands in the air-

It's not interesting enough for me to care positively about it or criticize it.

Let me just say that the choice of cover makes no sense.

Justice4243 · 2013-07-30 02:10:26

I'm sorry, but an alien species has to convince me it's at least credible enough that a space-ice cream tuck full of explosives driven by Lobo in some sort of crazy intergalactic car-chase crashing into the mother-ship is not something that easily could run amok of the whole alien scheme before I can buy that it's anything worth concerning oneself over in the DC universe.

Near as I can tell, these shape-shifting, alien telepaths have managed to infiltrate low paying blue-collar jobs on earth and that's literally where their accomplishments begin and end.

Their best alien-human hybrid that actually happened to be better than the other alien-human hybrids which aren't actually better than the regular aliens escaped immediately and ran amok of their operations until they bribed it into behaving. If it actually manages to kill its counterpart and her power-armored friend they will have a grand total of one powerful thing that knows the same amount as the average villain walking down the street against an army of superheros.

Aliroz · 2013-07-30 23:14:30

No, please not the one character I liked in this comic.

Odradek · 2013-07-30 23:52:46

Aliroz said:
No, please not the one character I liked in this comic.

My thoughts exactly.

Yarrun XIX · 2013-07-30 23:55:01

Odradek said:

Aliroz said:
No, please not the one character I liked in this comic.
My thoughts exactly.

Odradek · 2013-08-04 18:04:47

Sorry for the lack of updates, but I can't get up the will to read Voodoo most of the time. I'll try to do issues 7-10 at a fairly brisk pace starting tomorrow and hopefully getting one done a day, because I want to move on to a comic that isn't Voodoo.

Justice4243 · 2013-08-05 03:13:57

Don't tell me it takes three more of these things to deal with the current plot...

Odradek · 2013-08-05 12:10:34

Justice42 said:
Don't tell me it takes three more of these things to deal with the current plot...

Voodoo, is, to the best of my knowledge, still ongoing but I decided to do 10 of every comic I do to get a good taste of each one.

Obā-san · 2013-08-05 12:15:39

you should do this one next

Odradek · 2013-08-05 12:36:51

Pangur Bán said:

you should do this one next

I have already read some of it, and I'd prefer to go in blind to these, but if you guys want it, it's a definite possibility.

Odradek · 2013-08-05 13:03:26

So anyway, this issue starts out with the Voodoo who just killed Black Jack shouting generic threats. So the next page seems to indicate that the Voodoo we've been following killed Black Jack, which is weird because I thought the last issue implied there was a new Voodoo clone to deal with, but whatever.

Jess gets angry at Voodoo for killing Black Jack and threatens to blow Pris's head off to prevent Voodoo from ever finding out the truth about what she really is. Voodoo starts doing the "We are not so different you and I" thing to Jess, and we see two Black Razors spying on them from a distance. They radio in to Lincoln and give him the bad news about Black Jack, and he rushes to their location.

Jess slips something into Pris's pocket and tells her to play along. Voodoo does more generic villain cackling before Pris reverse headbutts Jess and flies away. Jess and Voodoo start playing, and Voodoo immediately starts playing dirty.

Jess, is, if you have forgotten, a strong independent woman who don't need no man. admittedly that was kinda cool though

Things get weird and Evansvoodoo starts talking about how Evans never loved her but s/h/it did. Jess is not buying this crap, and meanwhile Pris discovers the thing Jess slipped into her pocket and realizes she was telling the truth. You know, I'm starting to like Jess a bit more as a fairly sane non-fanservice character in a world of...

uerrrosgfuiodgusdiogusdgiodgiosgugugugugugugugugugugugugugugu

Voodoo

So Pris starts fighting Voodoo, and slips the bomb(for that is what the thing is) onto her chest. It explodes in a shower of electricity, and Pris demands to know what's going on. Voodoo says that her cold nature came from Pris, not the daemonites, and that Pris should join her and together they can rule the galaxy as clone and original.

The Black Razors finally show up, and Lincoln orders them to kill Voodoo and capture Pris. The Razors can't tell which is which, due to Voodoo shapeshifting into Pris's clothing, so Lincoln revises his orders and thells them to capture both.

Voodoo flies away, and the Black Razors easily capture Pris. Lincoln deduces that the other one is Voodoo and orders the Razors to go after her. Voodoo escapes into a nearby forest, apparently by shape-shifting into a bird. Pris starts fighting back against the Razors but suddenly:

Just two issues left to go til freedom from Voodoo.

Aliroz · 2013-08-05 14:30:39

Not Jane, too!

Justice4243 · 2013-08-05 15:27:31

Pangur Bán said:

you should do this one next

...The fuck is going on in that cover?

Odradek · 2013-08-05 15:33:15

Justice42 said:

Pangur Bán said:
...The fuck is going on in that cover?

It's a comic about a man who can become different entities by dialing an old payphone, and IIRC those are two of his alter egos.

Sredni Vashtar · 2013-08-05 15:33:58

^^ It's about an overweight former boxer in a crime-ridden town that finds a phone booth that turns him into various bizarre superheroes. The shadowy figures are, if I recall correctly, two examples.

^ Ninjutsu!

Justice4243 · 2013-08-05 15:41:01

That's actually kinda a cool concept that's not clear at all from that picture.

One-Winged Eagle · 2013-08-05 19:44:22

No, it isn't.

Dial H is actually a pretty decent comic from what I've read of it. It's almost Vertigo.

Odradek · 2013-08-25 14:56:04

As god is my witness I will finish this terrible comic.

So we start with Lincoln and Pris in front of the house of her parents. Lincoln says it's probably better not to disturb their lives, but Pris goes ahead anyway.

I hate this comic and everyone involved with it.

BUT IT TURNS OUT IT WAS ALL A DREAM.

Pris is in a cell, and she reminisces on her new life hunting Voodoo with Andrew Lincoln.

Meanwhile, deep in the jungles of South America, Voodoo is going to some pyramid to find "the Daemonite who has developed his powers the most". Generic aztecs or mayans or whatever stand guard, but Voodoo quickly kills them while talking about how she doesn't care about their lives. Real charmer, our heroine.

Oh look, it's a references to some tie-in Superman comic I'll never read. And no footnote to tell me when this happened, that's cool too.

So anyway lord Helspont starts doing generic villain rambling about how he, too, doesn't value life, and then starts expositing about the "City of the Dead Daemonites" which is a base on Europa that has some super-weapon on it and got abandoned for vague reasons.

Lord Helspont demands a test to see whether Voodoo is worthy of getting the super-weapon. Meanwhile, Pris spars with some training robots. Voodoo's violence against the Mayincaztecs Helspont is sending against her mirrors Pris's moves against the robots in a splash page that would be interesting in a better comic.

So anyway, Voodoo passes her test, while Lincoln gets annoyed at Pris for not using her powers. Some dork with a mohawk walks in and congratulates her, and he's revealed to be Axel Walker, her new trainer. Pris finds out Voodoo was a stripper and freaks out.

Voodoo gets sent off to space and Pris gets a convenient psychic flash that tells her where Voodoo is going. So anyway the Razors have a captured Daemonite space ship, and they're going to send Pris after her, and they organize a team of deadmeat characters I am not going to bother to remember.

ON TO THE FINAL ISSUE(not really but the last one I'm gonna read)

Odradek · 2013-08-25 15:08:29

So Voodoo arrives on the snowy planet of Europa and finds a camp of Bull-aliens.

So if they're only thinking about meat why are they speaking perfectly comprehensible sentences oh who the fuck cares.

So anyway, back on the other Daemonite ship, the deadmeats are yakking. One of the deadmeats, Flynn, turns out to be noteable for being a huge sexist jackass.

Anyway, the deadmeats start fighting and Axel gets thrown into Pris, who is psychically piloting the plane. So she gets knocked out and the ships starts going out of control.

Real competent people, the Black Razors.

Meanwhile Voodoo is fighting the chief of the Bull-aliens Mol Stone. She shapeshifts into Helspont and it turns out they're all loyal servants of the good Lord.

So on the ship, Pris wakes up just in time while they're crash-landing and saves the deadmeats from an even earlier death. They are immediately surrounded by Bullaliens and Pris is to weak to fight them.

Mol Stone reveals that the Bullaliens were bred as workers by Daemonites, and says that he believes the doom of the Daemonite race is certain. He guides Voodoo to the gate that contains "The Blue Flame"

So anyway, the gate is guarded by two stone centurions who look nothing like either the Daemonites or the Bullaliens and look suspiciously human. They attack anyone who tries to get in, because this is the Neverending Story suddenly. Anyway the curtain closes as they attack Pris and who cares anymore I'm FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

FREEEE

FREEEE

Odradek · 2013-08-25 15:10:44

The titles on New 52 are:

Action Comics

All-Star Western

Animal Man

Aquaman

Batgirl

Batman

Batman and Robin

Batman: The Dark Knight

Batwing

Batwoman

Birds of Prey

Blackhawks

Blue Beetle
Captain Atom
Catwoman
DC Universe Presents
Deathstroke

Demon Knights
Detective Comics

Flash
Frankenstein: Agent of S.H.A.D.E

Fury of Firestorm

Green Arrow

Green Lantern

Green Lantern Corps
Green Lantern: New Guardians
Grifter

Hawk and Dove

I, Vampire

Justice League

Justice League Dark

Justice League International
Legion Lost

Legion of Superheroes

Men of War

Mister Terrific

Nightwing

OMAC

Red Hood and the Outlaws
Red Lanterns

Resurrection Man
Savage Hawkman

Static Shock
Stormwatch

Suicide Squad

Superboy

Supergirl

Superman

Swamp Thing

Teen Titans

Voodoo

Wonder Woman

Yarrun XIX · 2013-08-25 16:00:28

Voodoo 2: Electric Bungalow.

Seriously though, I kind of want to see you finished whatever this arc is. If it ends before the 15th issue. I can't consciously make you go any further.

Obā-san · 2013-08-25 16:01:46

i vote Frankenstein: Agent of S.H.A.D.E

Yarrun XIX · 2013-08-25 16:02:37

I guess I vote Suicide Squad, if Voodoo 2 isn't an option.

Badly-rendered Harley Quinn, ho!

(Don't you mean hoe?)

(Shut up, Arthur)

Sredni Vashtar · 2013-08-25 16:12:12

kingCrackers said:
Dial H is actually a pretty decent comic from what I've read of it. It's almost Vertigo.

China Miéville is a good author in general and about as insane as Grant Morrison is, albeit in a slightly different way. I would expect nothing less.

Obā-san · 2013-08-25 16:12:57

i actually really want to read Dial H and i am not usually big on comics

Odradek · 2013-08-25 16:27:44

Yarrun XIX said:
Voodoo 2: Electric Bungalow.

Seriously though, I kind of want to see you finished whatever this arc is. If it ends before the 15th issue. I can't consciously make you go any further.

There are two more issues in the collection I have, but words cannot really express my aversion to Voodoo at this point. Maybe I'll finish it after I get a break reading something else.

So anyway that's one vote for Suicide Squad and one vote for Frankenstein.

Sredni Vashtar · 2013-08-25 16:43:06

^^ Same.

^ I'm torn...

Screw it. Frankenstein.

Justice4243 · 2013-08-25 17:33:17

Swamp Thing!

Justice4243 · 2013-08-25 17:49:39

Also, I like witnessing Myr suffer so I don't have to as much as the next guy, but I can't help but feel Voodoo isn't really going anywhere. 8 felt like a big climatic showdown that ended with our heroine(?) escaping.

We've already established that Voodoo's new boss got beaten up bu Superman, and we're seeing her do what exactly? Run errands so he has enough power to get beaten up by more members of the Justice League?

What's with those fasho continuity nietzschecomix? OR Odradek reads New 52

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