Blades

Alduin · 2013-02-09 09:55:27

So ummm...

In celebration of Tamriel History Month, apparently we're talking about "blades". It's now "officially a thing"

http://www.uesp.net/wiki/Skyrim:Blades

This is now a thing that warrants discussion.

The fact that there are Nords who are interested in dragonslaying stuff...

Is it OK that my first reaction was basically rage that people think this is even a thing worth calling attention to?

Then I read the article and then my rage turned into a white hot laser beam capable of exploding whoever wrote that article's head.

Seriously, please tell me I'm not the only one kinda peeved off that anyone thinks that there are "Nord minorities" is a fact worth calling out.

Jesus, Christ, yes, Nords can be into dragons, dragonslaying, and Alduin. Remember Alduin? Remember how he was sent through time by Nords IN THE GODDAMN FIRST AGE?! The only reason it's "officially a thing" now is because no one THOUGHT WE HAD TO MAKE A DEAL OUT OF NORDS KILLING DRAGONS BECAUSE THEY EAT EVERYONE REGARDLESS OF RACE, SEXUAL ORIENTATION, OR CREED.

tl;dr

I hope whoever came up with the term "Blades" gets hit by an Elder Dragon driven by Tiber Septim.

Hexartes · 2013-02-09 10:34:49

whut

Justice4243 · 2013-02-09 12:21:15

I know, this "dragon slaying is predominantly men of a certain race" shit has got to go.

Imagine all the shit women have to put up with when people accuse them of killing dragons just so they can sleep with men who also kill dragons.

Fossilmaiden · 2013-02-09 13:07:27

As if men could slay dragons. Don't be ridiculous.

Justice4243 · 2013-02-09 13:15:49

OH MY GOD, MISANDRY MUCH?! MEN ARE JUST AS CAPABLE OF SLAYING DRAGONS AS FEMALES! IT'S NOT OUR FAULT THAT SOCIETY HAS RELEGATED US TO BE KINGS AND SOLDIERS AND MUSCLE COMPETITION PARTICIPANTS!

Hexartes · 2013-02-09 13:21:52

Blades sux morag tong ftw

RocketRunner · 2013-02-09 14:16:50

Oh man, this may be it

Viani · 2013-02-10 21:05:24

Oh, those fake dragonslaying girls, how I hate them. Posing all pretty with your dragonbone sword, when you are just feigning interest in killing dragons to seduce them.

Justice4243 · 2013-02-10 23:07:09

Man it sure must suck to have girls pretend to be interested in killing you only to find out that girl just wants to get in your dragon pants...

...I guess...

Hexartes · 2013-02-10 23:10:15

I think this is a very confused thread.

Viani · 2013-02-10 23:16:21

Thats not what your mom said last night

Hexartes · 2013-02-10 23:17:05

Well, no. That'd just be silly.

Viani · 2013-02-10 23:19:34

I agree with your mom however, this thread doesn't seem confused at all.

And that I have a rockin' ass

Alduin · 2013-02-11 09:00:34

Justice42 said:
OH MY GOD, MISANDRY MUCH?! MEN ARE JUST AS CAPABLE OF SLAYING DRAGONS AS FEMALES! IT'S NOT OUR FAULT THAT SOCIETY HAS RELEGATED US TO BE KINGS AND SOLDIERS AND MUSCLE COMPETITION PARTICIPANTS!

You have no right to complain, you privileged male scum! Do you know how much discrimination is heaped upon LGBT dragonslayers?

Fossilmaiden · 2013-02-11 09:07:03

Whatever next? Are you going to pretend that there are straight dragonslayers?

Tachyon · 2013-02-11 09:12:01

i am a dragon and this triggered me.

You're all assholes.

Alduin · 2013-02-11 09:14:57

We'll start acting considerate to you when you start acting considerate to other thinking, feeling beings instead of eating them.

Are you going to pretend that there are straight dragonslayers?

...Are you serious? The dragonslaying society is predominantly straight. Hell, I can't name a single Dragonborn who wasn't cisgendered and heterosexual.

Tachyon · 2013-02-11 09:44:50

Wow, OK. So the moment anyone says anything against a player race you're up in arms, but you expect me to just ABANDON MY CULTURE before you'll pull your head far enough out your privileged ass to afford some basic courtesy to any dragons who are reading? Who might find a thread about KILLING OUR PEOPLE insensitive?

Fucking unbelievable.

Bunny · 2013-02-11 09:50:36

My brother was a dragon sympathizer. He even married one.

Then she ate his head and destroyed his entire village.

Needless to say I am not very sensitive to your plight right now.

Sredni Vashtar · 2013-02-11 09:59:38

^ Just because one Nord goes off and rapes and pillages an entire nunnery doesn't mean I'm going to call all Nords rapist nun-killers.

Seriously, bro. So racist.

Being a lesser vengeance deity, I cannot ever truly know what my draconian brothers and sisters feel day-to-day in terms of vicious discrimination, but I can sympathise and I will defend their right to live their lives untouched by racially motivated violence.

Fossilmaiden · 2013-02-11 10:01:25

Altoid said:
...Are you serious? The dragonslaying society is predominantly straight. Hell, I can't name a single Dragonborn who wasn't cisgendered and heterosexual.

Erasure of the vilest sort. You should be ashamed and horrified at yourself.

Alduin · 2013-02-11 12:10:56

^ Just because one Nord goes off and rapes and pillages an entire nunnery doesn't mean I'm going to call all Nords rapist nun-killers.

Seriously, bro. So racist.

Being a lesser vengeance deity, I cannot ever truly know what my draconian brothers and sisters feel day-to-day in terms of vicious discrimination, but I can sympathise and I will defend their right to live their lives untouched by racially motivated violence.

Obvious strawmer is obvious.

Salix Babylonika · 2013-02-11 12:15:08

Justice4243 · 2013-02-11 14:49:34

^ 4/10 Nice reference, but try harder next time.

Now, back to the problem at hand.

The discrimination against cripples in the dragon slaying business is just shameful.

Alduin · 2013-02-12 11:43:19

^ Wasn't one of the most famous dragonslayers Olaf One-Eye?

Justice4243 · 2013-02-12 12:59:57

Yeah, but I'm talking dragons with wheel chair access and dragon slayer employers need to stop persecuting cripples just because they don't have arms or are blind.

Tachyon · 2013-02-12 13:30:18

Altoid said:
Obvious strawmer is obvious.

And i suppose i could just make a thread about Imperialslaying and everyone would be totally cool with that? You're seriously trying to tell me there's no double standard here?

Justice42 said:
Yeah, but I'm talking dragons with wheel chair access

Oh i'm sorry, is our swooping down whenever we feel like it inconvenient? Perhaps you'd prefer us to lie down across a chopping block instead?

IT IS NOT OUR RESPONSIBILITY TO MAKE MURDERING US EASY FOR YOU

Justice4243 · 2013-02-12 14:47:46

Look, I'm not saying Dragons need to lay down and be murdered, but someone needs to build better access to dragon lairs so that the handicapped have the same opportunity to kill dragons the able-bodied enjoy.

Example:

Fossilmaiden · 2013-02-12 14:52:28

Just have them learn levitation magic. Is that so hard? Geeze, it's as if you want things laid out on a platter.

Justice4243 · 2013-02-12 19:36:21

WHAT ABOUT PEOPLE WITH LEARNING DISABILITIES WHO CAN'T LEARN MAGIC?!

Alduin · 2013-02-13 06:30:24

Are you implying that all cripples have learning disabilities?

Viani · 2013-02-13 07:32:38

Are you implying cripples exist in Skyrim?

At least Dragons don't throw you in jail for picking flowers in a castle.

Justice4243 · 2013-02-13 14:54:01

Altoid said:
Are you implying that all cripples have learning disabilities?

OH MY GOD, FALSE IMPLICATION MUCH!

Sredni Vashtar · 2013-02-13 18:29:34

a8 said: Altoid said:Obvious strawmer is obvious.

And i suppose i could just make a thread about Imperialslaying and everyone would be totally cool with that? You're seriously trying to tell me there's no double standard here?

Justice42 said:Yeah, but I'm talking dragons with wheel chair access

Oh i'm sorry, is our swooping down whenever we feel like it inconvenient? Perhaps you'd prefer us to lie down across a chopping block instead?

IT IS NOT OUR RESPONSIBILITY TO MAKE MURDERING US EASY FOR YOU

Reblogging the shit out of this.

Alduin · 2013-02-14 04:43:32

Are you implying cripples exist in Skyrim?

Erm...yes?

I distinctly remember fighting a blind bandit.

Justice4243 · 2013-02-14 11:20:46

SEE Bandits don't discriminate!

Justice4243 · 2013-02-14 11:21:02

Justice42 said:
SEE

...fuck

Obā-san · 2013-02-14 11:23:45

Tachyon · 2013-02-14 11:51:02

>attempted fanpop embed

Obā-san · 2013-02-14 11:54:52

i considered downloading it and hosting it on funnyjunk, but that was too much work

Viani · 2013-02-15 04:46:14

I haven't seen a crippled Dragon.

Blades

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