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In the wake of the Fake Geek Girl

Justice4243Justice4243
edited 2013-01-24 17:43:51 in Artistic Pursuits
It's hard to believe, I know, but I was not always the broken man you see before you.

No.

I had it all. 

An Alpha Black Lotus.

A Nintendo NES with hundreds of games.

Bruce Cambell's autograph on a copy of "The Woods."

But I sold it. Sold it all. Just to catch up with her. To STOP her. To make sure she never inflicted the same pain on someone else that she did on me.

At the very least, you should head my warning. Keep a wary eye on any girls that seem interested in attending Trek conventions. Scrutinized any sexy young thing in a Batman hoddie. Call into question any female anime fan who SAYS she prefers subs over dubs.

She may seem interested enough, but she COULD be...a fake geek girl.

I THOUGHT I had found the one. I THOUGHT she was perfect. We watched Doctor Who together, We watched the ORIGINAL Transformers Movie time and time again and made fun of all the peons who went to watch that over produced Hollywood crap. We even went to an Anime convention together.

She...she...dressed up as Haruhi...

*sniff* What?

No, baka, not Haruhi Suzumiya. Haruhi Fujioka. Jesus, don't you know anything?

Where was I?

Oh yes, the anime con.

We where going to make my OTP come true in the flesh. In fact, we where doing just that...

What character was I? 

Alucard.

Huh? No, from Hellsing.

Of COURSE I know he's not from the same anime.

Fuck YOU! It's my OTP.

Anyways, it was the a magical experience, it seemed all my dreams where coming true. I'd stripped down to nothing but my hat, coat, and glasses, and she had climbed on top of me, just like my fan-fiction. With each thrust I felt closer and closer to that world, until finally we climaxed. I thought I had reached Nirvana itself when she lean down and whispered "My favorite anime is actually Dragon Ball Z".

My heart stopped, I was shocked, first at what she said and then at her expression. She didn't look like someone who just made a confession, she had the evil smile of someone who knew exactly what she was doing. I tried to pretend it was just afterglow, and stammered out "You mean...Dragon Ball Zetto, right?" 

"No", she answered "Zee".

I gasped, holding back tears, she was still on top of me. My perfect moment had been ruined, I began to feel hurt, used...dirty even.

"and I prefer the dubbeds version", she paused and looked me straight in the eyes as if she was feeding on my pain itself, her evil smile went full blown Majin Vegita, "The SABAN Entertainment dub."

The next few seconds where I blur, I screamed out the longest, loudest, most Darth Vader like "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" I could manage, but she was laughing manically and was off me in a flash. My scream of agony was soon overpowered by the noise of the hotel-room desk chair breaking the window. At the same time, it felt like my heart shattering, exploded even, into millions of fragile pieces that had been brutally attacked.  Just as fast as she had got off me, she had thrown the chair at the window and leaped past the broken glass onto the fire escape. 

It took me several second to come to my senses and hurry towards the window. Without thinking, I put my hand onto the broken glass around the edge and felt it cut into my palm. 

Wincing, I looked at my palm, it was bleeding alright, but there was something else...Something black. Ink?

I looked out the window, she was running through the parking lot now, but I managed to make out the smeared Firefly tattoo on her thigh . Or rather, her FAKE tattoo.  

Fake, like her love for me. Like our relationship those last several months. Fake like the Godzilla rema...

What? No, she didn't have time to put on her pants or shoes. 

Far fetched? That's just what she WANTS you to think. That's how she TRAPS us, don't you see? 

You know what? Fuck you! Don't come crying to me when some fake geek girl caters to your greatest sexual fantasy.
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