The Baby Stories Collection of the Heaper's Hangout

Aliroz · 2012-11-12 22:52:19

Or, in my case, the Hatchling stories.

When I was newly brought into the world, I was small. I could climb before I could crawl, I was always climbing on things and falling off things. I had a permanent bruise on my head.

My family didn't have its own house yet, so my parents, four-year-old-brother, and I, lived with my maternal grandparents. They had this coffee table with a cabinet full of toys. I would take out all the toys and go in the cabinet. Sometimes, they found me upside down and asleep in that cabinet.

Tre · 2012-11-12 23:00:03

I didn't talk until I was roughly 3 years old, but when I did start talking, my first words were "I'm going to miss you today, Mommy."

Salix Babylonika · 2012-11-12 23:03:28

My first words were apparently "hat is fun".

We're still trying to figure this one out.

Obā-san · 2012-11-12 23:04:04

My first word was train.

lee4hmz · 2012-11-12 23:04:22

I'm not even sure what my first words were. I'd have to ask Mom. I know I could read the Washington Post when I was 3, though.

Imipolex G · 2012-11-12 23:06:43

When I was little we had these magnetic letters that were stuck on the refrigerator. Now, I liked peanut butter from a very young age. One day my mother went to the fridge and found that I had used the letters to spell "JIF" - as in the peanut butter brand. This was apparently the first word I ever "wrote".

I WANTED SOME FREAKIN' PEANUT BUTTER

Yarrun XIX · 2012-11-12 23:07:39

My earliest human memory is playing in a Christmas-themed park filled with fake snow.

According to my family, my earliest human memory never occurred.

Imipolex G · 2012-11-12 23:10:34

Well, that is spooky. Someone implanted false memories in your brain.

Salix Babylonika · 2012-11-12 23:14:08

My first memory is of my grandmother's dog Shaun-Ti.

Corporal Forsythe · 2012-11-12 23:17:07

I had spinal meningitis and somehow survived

Salix Babylonika · 2012-11-12 23:18:12

Well, that sucks rather hard.

I was premature but I'm not entirely sure what condition I was in.

Obā-san · 2012-11-12 23:18:27

man i could reminisce about my early childhood but it would be depressing as fuck so i'm not

Yarrun XIX · 2012-11-12 23:45:33

Fun fact. I had more hair as a baby than I did when I was ten.

Gelzo · 2012-11-12 23:59:22

Super Läzuli said:
My first words were apparently "hat is fun".
We're still trying to figure this one out.

Destined to play TF2.

Salix Babylonika · 2012-11-13 00:00:26

I have never played TF2, and it doesn't really look like something I'd enjoy.

I do have a few hats, but I don't wear them very often.

Sredni Vashtar · 2012-11-16 11:59:07

I remember my family's chocolate Labrador. She was a lovely dog.

King_Friday · 2012-11-16 12:07:52

Apparently when I was a baby my parents had to warn people not to pick me up because I'd bite them and wouldn't relinquish their face.

I also had my fingers in every pie possible, every baby photo shows things 3 shelves off the ground and me reaching for the camera. Might explain why my baby is so aggressive.

Imipolex G · 2012-11-16 12:09:02

GIVE ME YOUR FACE

/obligatory

King_Friday · 2012-11-16 12:11:51

Maybe it explains why I love him so much:

Misery · 2012-11-16 12:54:04

I could walk at my first Christmas. Or was it before I was a year old? Oh yeah it was.

Jumpingzombie · 2012-11-17 03:58:06

When I was a baby, I apparently really liked crawling into my brother's room while he was playing with his toys. This was annoying, so he put his boy old toy chest in the doorway so I couldn't get by. That crap didn't stop me; I just climbed over it.

Princess Alice · 2012-11-17 04:30:32

When I was 2 my mother and my uncle and I were at a laundromat in Westerville. They were doing laundry, and I was bored, so I ended up wandering out the door and into the middle of College Avenue.

My uncle (who was 19 or 20 at the time) spotted me out of the corner of his eye and ran and grabbed me out of the street...right before a car would have hit me.

So yeah, that was a thing that happened. As a side note, said laundromat is now a dance studio.

King_Friday · 2012-11-17 10:03:40

Your uncle is freakin' AWESOME. I'm glad he saved you CA!

Something not too dissimilar happened with my older brother where he was about to crawl off of an apartment balcony but my grandma spotted him at the last second and grabbed him just in time.

Justice4243 · 2012-11-17 14:58:09

I have a tiny scar from when I fell into an antique display case head first.

The case still exists, but one panel is safety glass.

Mr. Darcy · 2012-11-17 15:23:42

I have a tiny scar from falling when I was two and gashing my head on a crib in a department store that no longer exists (the 205 Meier and Frank).

Hexartes · 2012-11-17 15:28:57

One time when I was like two years old my parents were frantically looking around for a 100 dollar bill that they somehow lost. Later that night it turned out that I had stuffed it down my diaper and was screaming something along the lines of "No! My money!" when they tried to take it away from me.

Imipolex G · 2012-11-17 21:42:09

One time when I was about three my parents let me out of their sight for a few minutes, and when they found me I had a blue mark on my forehead. Which has been there ever since.

I think I was marked. By someone. Or something.

Mr. Darcy · 2012-11-17 21:43:01

The Devil?

Corporal Forsythe · 2012-11-17 21:44:03

Gilda said:
The Devil?

that's my guess

sweet dreams imi

Imipolex G · 2012-11-17 21:44:21

Possibly.

Other candidates include the Illuminati and Nicolas Cage

Corporal Forsythe · 2012-11-17 21:45:50

Raising Imipolex

Imipolex G · 2012-11-17 21:47:00

There is a concept of the Devil putting a mark on someone when he makes a deal with them.

But it seems unlikely I would make a deal with the Devil when I was 3. Unless I was really precocious.

King_Friday · 2012-11-18 12:06:08

Imipölex G said:
Possibly.

Other candidates include the Illuminati and Nicolas Cage

Perhaps Nic Cage is a part of all of our childhoods, like Santa or Slash.

Yarrun XIX · 2012-11-18 12:44:04

I have a small scar on my eyebrow from when I was six or so. My younger cousin tried to carry me to my bed after I fell asleep in a place that was not my bed. I got dropped, and I cut my eyebrow on an armchair.

At least, that's presumably what happened. I was told about all of this post-stitches, and I cant remember any of it due to being asleep.

Mr. Darcy · 2012-11-18 12:56:17

Mine is on my eyebrow too. The story from my mom is that they rushed me from Meier and Frank to the ER, where they could have given me the stitches right away because I was already asleep. And then the nurse wanted to wake me up just to take my temperature and stuff, so they had a fight over a bleeding sleeping toddler. :P

Ace Rimmer · 2012-11-18 18:12:19

I just have a lot of burn marks.

Aliroz · 2012-11-19 14:04:46

I have a brown mark on my right pointer finger. My Mom says that it was some sort of birthmark, but my Dad says that it happened when I stuck my finger in a candle's flame for a split second, and he pulled me out. Apparently, I didn't scream or cry out from the tiny burn, but I cooed happily, but when he tried to take me away from the candle, I tried to bite him (I failed, because I did not have teeth back then) and crawl back to the flame. I really screamed when he put my hand in cold water.

The candle was apparently on the top of a kitchen cabinet, to which I climbed.

According to my Mom, none of this happened.

I remember none of it.

sunn wolf · 2012-11-19 19:27:12

my american relatives used to freak people out by making 2-year-old me read the newspaper to them

Aliroz · 2013-05-16 13:53:16

bump

Justice4243 · 2013-05-16 13:56:28

Friday: if given the chance
laila will throw forks in the toilet

nohaynicklibre · 2013-05-16 14:17:12

Aparently my first words were Força Barça, Go Barça in Catalan. I find it weird my first words weren't in my native language

Bunny · 2013-05-16 18:18:38

If my parents are to be believed, I was less a baby and more an upchucking machine, doing everything in my power to produce enough vomit to cover small countries.

You needed to know this.

Obā-san · 2013-05-16 18:21:42

Bunny · 2013-05-16 18:23:19

Completely accurate.

The Baby Stories Collection of the Heaper's Hangout

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