Dear Komodin

Viani · 2017-07-15 13:13:18

I didn't like you. I hated you. I thought you were fucking stupid.

Yeah, not a great way to start a memorial thread.

We used to fight all the time on here. You posted "meh" on threads I had starry-eyed optimism for, and we would bicker in PMs. It would get heated. I'd tell you to fuck off. You'd tell me to grow up and get over it. You once told me that the best thing to happen to this site, if you were to become a mod, was to permanently ban me. You'd celebrate the idea of me leaving the site forever. You "meh"d when I got permabanned.

You stopped posting here in around 2011.

I came back in the boontimes of 2017, and found out you passed away from cancer. I admit, it wasn't the first thing that occurred to me, was to look up how you were doing. I never even knew you were sick.

I grew up. In my time being banned. Kind of. I hope you didn't suffer when you passed. I did not wish for you to be in such an agony. THE THING THAT FUCKS ME UP THE MOST ABOUT THIS IS SOMETIMES I WISHED YOU WOULD DIE BACK BEFORE MY BAN. Because I was that emotionally invested on a shitposting spin-off forum. AND NOW YOU'RE FUCKING GONE AND ITS THE WORST FEELING ONE COULD HAVE. I don't want to grave dance! I don't want to pretend to remember you fondly, but I don't want to lie to myself either. Your scorn of me was deserved. I was fucking annoying.

Like, the fucked up part of me wants to believe that you're going to pull this Spongebob Level Ultimate Troll on me and come back, reading this thread and laughing at me for pouring my heart out yelling "GOTCHA VORP" but THATS EXACTLY WHAT I WANT AND THATS WHY I KNOW ITS NOT GOING TO HAPPEN.

Now that I am far more mature and self aware I want to apologize for my outrages. But now I can't. I can't say sorry for wishing you would die, or raging against you for trolling me or shitting on the things you liked out of petty teenage vengeance. This is shitty behavior I can't take back but I'm sorry nonetheless Komodin.

I wish I could take it back.

I'm sorry Komodin. Hope you rest in peace.

Viani · 2017-07-15 13:36:01

I'm an atheist, so I can't wholeheartedly wish you to a better place and everything. It would be dishonest. That leaves me in this weird situation.

I want you to go to a better place nonetheless.

Just float out of the clouds in your sonic visage going "Nope, wrong again vorpy, as usual" and hop into heaven. Having the last laugh.

I'm sorry for being such a shithead Komodin. For not writing you a better apology or whatever this thing is
eulogy? memorial? memento? I don't know.

Odradek · 2017-07-15 15:56:16

*hugs Vorpy*

Alduin · 2017-07-16 01:49:16

hey. I felt bad when he died too.

Sredni Vashtar · 2017-07-16 01:55:30

He was on the Content Violations panel on TVT, which I checked regularly for a long time. He always had a good head on his shoulders, and was generally a nice person in my experience. I wound up on the panel myself later, as a lot of other people had just dropped out before then and they needed people, but I always wished it had been under... very different circumstances. It would have been a pleasure to talk with him more.

Dear Komodin

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