The Ultimate Party Quiz (partly plagiarized from Jim Davis)

as requested by @Viani

So I was going to post the Garfield How To Party Book's party personality quiz but I can't find the book at the moment, so you'll have to make do with me making shit up to fill in the gaps.  More like, making up most of it and filling in the gaps with the stuff I do remember.  To be honest, I'm not sure I remember anything other than maybe like one question, and one running joke.


1. What's the first thing you do when you get to a party?

A. greet the host
B. demand that they show your favorite anime series
C. smash something against your forehead and belch


2. The party has been going on for far too many hours and people are getting antsy but the host seems intent on trapping everyone here in order to create a battle royale.  What do you do?

A. call the police
B. organize a group of allies and arm yourselves to the teeth
C. rip the thoughts out of the host's mind, smash them against your forehead, and belch


3. You have walked into a political party.  What do you do?

A. Discuss campaign strategy with them.
B. Attempt a takeover wherein you rewrite the party platform to suit your own agenda.
C. Pick up the speaker's podium, smash it against your forehead, and belch.


4. You're attending a LAN party.  Someone's machine can't connect to the network properly.  What do you do?

A. Let them use your machine.
B. Fix it, because you're a computer genius.
C. Smash their keyboard against your forehead and belch.


5. You've been invited to a formal ball!  Who is your date?

A. your significant other, even if your relationship is of a sort that the host objects to
B. a date palm, bearing fruit
C. a date palm, bearing fruit, which you've smashed against your forehead, and with whom you belch while dancing


6. Your preferred method of transportation to a party is:

A. whatever ride you have already
B. something you'll make this afternoon anyway.  Seems like you're in the market for balloons, helium canisters, and a lawn chair.  Hydrogen allowed as a substitute.
C. the canister itself, which will carry you to the party once you smash its valve against your forehead and belch.  Okay, you're not sure it has navigational capability, but it'll at least carry you to some party.


7. You thought you could celebrate by going to a casino and gambling, but you just lost big.  What do you do?

A. walk away, saying "oh well"
B. conspire with other casino guests in order to cause a situation where the casino bets all of its assets in a rigged game that you're sure to win
C. smash all the slot machines and cash registers against your forehead, belch, and collect all the coins that fall out


8. You're at a geekyshit convention and it's late at night and you're surrounded by people dressed in weird costumes talking about fetishes you've never heard of.  But you feel like you wanna have fun.  What do you do?

A. attempt to make sense of what they're talking about
B. using your spectacular charisma, convince them all to engage in naughty behavior that suits your interests
C. congregate a large number of hotel guests, steal the dirty thoughts from their minds, and smash them all against your forehead, and then belch


9. You are on your way to a party destination.  But then airport security stops you.  What do you do?

A. inquire about why you've been detained
B. organize a mass uprising to let you through, or at least distract the guards until you can pass
C. smash all of airport security against your forehead and belch


10. How do you celebrate New Year's Day?

A. stand in the crowd in Times Square and watch the ball drop
B. riding a helium canister from your house to a random neighbor's house
C. nothing.
It's the wrong day.
Why are they celebrating?
This is just some arbitrary day of the year.  There's nothing special about it.
These people are idiots.  And they think they're throwing a party?
Pfft.  Fine.
You'll show them a party.
So you pick up the entire world, smash it against your forehead, and belch.

Mount Olympus takes notice, so you pick up Zeus's throne with him still sitting on it, smash it against your forehead, and belch.




Total up your score!  Give yourself 1 point for each A answer, 2 points for each B answer, and 3 points for each C answer.

0: You need to smash a math book against your forehead and belch.
1 to 10: Okay, you're cool, I guess.
11 to 20: You're a little more nuts.
21 to 29: You seem to be illegal, immoral, and/or fattening.  Probably at least two of the three.
30: A grey alien descends to give you a plaque honoring your achievements.


You promptly smash the plaque against your forehead and belch.