Why do people always forget the end of the story of Isaac

Odradek · 2016-12-06 19:39:39

There are better stories to bring up if you want to character assassinate old-testament God

Yes I know nobody goes far past Genesis, still

Salix Babylonika · 2016-12-06 19:43:26

because most people who do the "dae God is bad" thing have never actually read the Bible in full or in part.

Klinotaxis · 2016-12-06 19:44:51

The end, meaning god being like "psych! You don't have to actually kill your son, just wanted to check that you would if i asked"?

Klinotaxis · 2016-12-06 19:51:47

I mean maybe it's no heart-hardening, or genocide-ordering, but it's pretty creepy nonetheless.

Odradek · 2016-12-06 19:53:44

Klinotaxis said:
I mean maybe it's no heart-hardening, or genocide-ordering, but it's pretty creepy nonetheless.

Well yes but "Hey Saul go kill literally everyone in this city. NO YOU FUCKER DON'T SPARE ANY OF THEM WHAT THE HELL YOU ARE NO LONGER MY CHOSEN KING" is way worse

By like an order of magnitude

Salix Babylonika · 2016-12-06 20:01:43

Old-Testament God was pretty extra.

Odradek · 2016-12-06 20:02:37

This is why Jonah is my favorite book of the Bible, because it consists of him trolling Jonah for thinking he's going to act in an Old Testament way

Klinotaxis · 2016-12-06 20:04:12

I think they're kind of different things. The various wars and massacres ordered by God are nasty, of course, but people do those things all the time in real life for various bad reasons. It's the kind of thing people in power do a lot.

Whereas psychological manipulation, heart hardening, describing himself as jealous in the commandments, that's just petty. It's more personal. Takes god from "distant hardass military leader" to "your dad who beats you".

Though the fact isaac is pretty early on is a factor too I'm sure. Let's be honest, nobody finds the prophets complaining about kids yl these days all that exciting

Odradek · 2016-12-06 20:05:28

1 The word of the Lord came to Jonah son of Amittai: 2 “Go to the great city of Nineveh and preach against it, because its wickedness has come up before me.”

Skipping ahead after the whole fish thing happens

3 Then the word of the Lord came to Jonah a second time: 2 “Go to the great city of Nineveh and proclaim to it the message I give you.”

3 Jonah obeyed the word of the Lord and went to Nineveh. Now Nineveh was a very large city; it took three days to go through it. 4 Jonah began by going a day’s journey into the city, proclaiming, “Forty more days and Nineveh will be overthrown.” 5 The Ninevites believed God. A fast was proclaimed, and all of them, from the greatest to the least, put on sackcloth.

6 When Jonah’s warning reached the king of Nineveh, he rose from his throne, took off his royal robes, covered himself with sackcloth and sat down in the dust. 7 This is the proclamation he issued in Nineveh:

“By the decree of the king and his nobles:

Do not let people or animals, herds or flocks, taste anything; do not let them eat or drink. 8 But let people and animals be covered with sackcloth. Let everyone call urgently on God. Let them give up their evil ways and their violence. 9 Who knows? God may yet relent and with compassion turn from his fierce anger so that we will not perish.”

10 When God saw what they did and how they turned from their evil ways, he relented and did not bring on them the destruction he had threatened.

4 But to Jonah this seemed very wrong, and he became angry. 2 He prayed to the Lord, “Isn’t this what I said, Lord, when I was still at home? That is what I tried to forestall by fleeing to Tarshish. I knew that you are a gracious and compassionate God, slow to anger and abounding in love, a God who relents from sending calamity. 3 Now, Lord, take away my life, for it is better for me to die than to live.”

4 But the Lord replied, “Is it right for you to be angry?”

5 Jonah had gone out and sat down at a place east of the city. There he made himself a shelter, sat in its shade and waited to see what would happen to the city. 6 Then the Lord God provided a leafy plant[a] and made it grow up over Jonah to give shade for his head to ease his discomfort, and Jonah was very happy about the plant. 7 But at dawn the next day God provided a worm, which chewed the plant so that it withered. 8 When the sun rose, God provided a scorching east wind, and the sun blazed on Jonah’s head so that he grew faint. He wanted to die,and said, “It would be better for me to die than to live.”

9 But God said to Jonah, “Is it right for you to be angry about the plant?”

“It is,” he said. “And I’m so angry I wish I were dead.”

10 But the Lord said, “You have been concerned about this plant, though you did not tend it or make it grow. It sprang up overnight and died overnight. 11 And should I not have concern for the great city of Nineveh,in which there are more than a hundred and twenty thousand people who cannot tell their right hand from their left—and also many animals?”

Odradek · 2016-12-06 20:07:05

Klinotaxis said:
Let's be honest, nobody finds the prophets complaining about kids yl these days all that exciting

Klinotaxis · 2016-12-06 20:07:22

Ok you're right, that's kind of funny in a bizarre way.

Yarrun XIX · 2016-12-06 21:08:26

Odradek said:

Klinotaxis said:
I mean maybe it's no heart-hardening, or genocide-ordering, but it's pretty creepy nonetheless.
Well yes but "Hey Saul go kill literally everyone in this city. NO YOU FUCKER DON'T SPARE ANY OF THEM WHAT THE HELL YOU ARE NO LONGER MY CHOSEN KING" is way worse

By like an order of magnitude

To be fair, Saul was sparing them for purely selfish reasons. Having a hobbled king under your control is handy for showing that you're a badass mofo, and the women and livestock he would have spared were more 'war spoils' than prisoners of war.

The whole point of wiping out those people was to make a statement, namely that God saw whatever that kingdom was doing and he wasn't pleased. Taking war spoils and trophies makes it look like it's just another power-play in the fertile crescent, which sort of undercuts the whole thing.

Odradek · 2016-12-07 03:16:49

My favorite part is that, despite everything, Jonah was the most competent and successful prophet of doom in human history

Klinotaxis · 2016-12-07 03:19:51

i think that's a lot of why it's funny.

King's just like, oh fuck, this guy is on the level. BRING ME MY EMERGENCY SACKCLOTH

Odradek · 2016-12-07 03:23:56

EVEN THE DONKEYS MUST REPENT

Imipolex G · 2016-12-07 04:17:17

emergency sackcloth

I thought this was gonna be about Isaac fighting his mother's heart on the 8th floor

Salix Babylonika · 2016-12-07 04:39:06

:rerolls this thread:

Obā-san · 2016-12-07 05:47:26

you reroll it into Soy Milk and Discourse

Salix Babylonika · 2016-12-07 05:48:43

:picks up a battery from the shop and rerolls again:

Fossilmaiden · 2016-12-07 05:59:01

The thread is now Breakfast.

Salix Babylonika · 2016-12-07 13:04:14

:resigned sigh, picks up item, losing permanent polaroid invincibility:

Why do people always forget the end of the story of Isaac

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