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The conflation of sexual attraction with love

AnonusAnonus
in Talk
seems to have led to a lot of people having a really fucked up idea of how romantic relationships should work.

Comments

  • glennmagusharveyglennmagusharvey
    edited 2016-09-05 02:03:13
    agreed

    and phrases like "make love" and "love each other very much" don't help at all
  • Imipolex GImipolex G
    Touch the cow. Do it now.
    what is love
  • glennmagusharveyglennmagusharvey
    edited 2016-09-05 03:32:33

    Imipolex G said:

    what is love


    baby don't hurt me

    to be fair, sexual bonding and romantic bonding are frequently intertwined, it's just that they're not the same thing

    didn't the Greeks have this thing where they defined different kinds of love, like there's sexual love, enjoyment love, friend love, and divine love?
  • LOAD CherryLOAD Cherry
    Splat Charger Specialist
    I think that was a specific philosopher, not ancient greece as a whole. And the four loves are awesome, Eros, Philia, Storge, and Agape. Essentialy, sexuality, familial bonds, friendship, and devotion, respectively.
  • BeeBee
    I thought storge was familial and philia was friendship.
  • LOAD CherryLOAD Cherry
    edited 2016-09-05 04:14:23
    Splat Charger Specialist
    wikped said:

    Philia (/ˈfɪljə/ or /ˈfɪliə/; Ancient Greek: φιλία), often translated "brotherly love", is one of the four ancient Greek words for love: philia, storge, agape and eros. In Aristotle's Nicomachean Ethics, philia is usually translated as "friendship" or affection.[1]

    "young lovers (1156b2), lifelong friends (1156b12), cities with one another (1157a26), political or business contacts (1158a28), parents and children (1158b20), fellow-voyagers and fellow-soldiers (1159b28), members of the same religious society (1160a19), or of the same tribe (1161b14), a cobbler and the person who buys from him (1163b35)." 

    wikped said:

    Storge (/ˈstɔːrɡiː/; στοργή, storgē), also called familial love, is the Greek word for natural affection[1]—such as the love of a parent towards offspring, and vice versa. Pronounced (store-gae)[2]

    In social psychology, another term for love between good friends is philia.[1]

    Storge or affection is a wide-ranging force which can apply between family members, friends, pets and owners, companions or colleagues; it can also blend with and help underpin other types of tie such as passionate love or friendship.[3]

    Thus storge may be used as a general term to describe the love between exceptional friends, and the desire for them to care compassionately for one another.[4]

    The distinction actually seems fairly ambiguous
  • eriophora ziaeriophora zia
    I have cut a caper with the dancing mad god
    I feel like the distinction between them can often be... complex in some cases. Sometimes it's clear cut, sometimes it's not. It can also be hard not to feel a little "in love"-ish for at least a few minutes after some particularly good sex, too, even if a few hours later you can only think "holy cow, what even came over me there?"
  • Princess AlicePrincess Alice
    You are the end result of a “would you push the button” prompt where the prompt was “you have unlimited godlike powers but you appear to all and sundry to be an impetuous child” – Zero, 2022
    eriophora zia said:

    you can only think "holy cow, what even came over me there?"

    current central avenue status: resisting urge to make juvenile joke
  • Obā-sanObā-san

    There are but four ways to love a sardonic spirit might have said to me
    There is love that occurs between friends
    There is love that occurs between family
    There is love that occurs between lovers
    There is the love between man and god
    Thus by various means they are combined
    Between friends and family
    Between lovers and god
    To yield but four ways to love
  • Sredni VashtarSredni Vashtar
    edited 2016-09-05 05:07:18
    “I'm surprised. Those clothes… but, aren't you…?”
    How is it that my boyfriend references Ligotti more than me now?

    Anyway, yes, the words can be used to apply to relationships where one would normally not use them due to specific contextual implications, insofar as I understand it, but the basic idea is that philia is strong camaraderie with implications of intellectual sympathy, storge is the love between siblings and similar emotional figures, eros is sexually charged romantic passion, and agape is pure selfless adoration most often of a religious or universal character. First is the mindmeld factor, second is the emotional honesty of close relatives, third is just wanting someone, and the fourth is the kind of love for something that makes you want to change the world.

    Or so I see it. Apparently mania (in the old, Greek sense) was sometimes considered an extension of eros at its worst, so there's also "I will kill Reagan for you" love right there.
  • AnonusAnonus
    I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    "I will kill Reagan for you"?
  • lee4hmzlee4hmz
    ⚠ THIS MACHINE KILLS FASCISTS
    John Hinckley was an obsessed fan of Jodie Foster, who ended up thinking that trying to kill the President would impress her.
  • AnonusAnonus
    I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    oh
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