WHORTICULTURE 101

Manly McMacho · 2012-02-21 02:49:56

Okay class, listen very carefully. First, you want to make sure your slutsoil is ready, like this lovely patch right here. Next, you want to plant your whore like so.

Next, you're going to want to lubricate her frequently and make sure she gets plenty of sunlight, and in no time your whore will grow big and strong to make you lots and lots of delicious money.

Any questions?

Gelzo · 2012-02-21 02:51:48

How do we treat for STDs?

Unknown · 2012-02-21 02:52:34

The user and all related content has been deleted.

Manly McMacho · 2012-02-21 02:56:56

^^Excellent question Gelzo! Just one spray of STD repellent should clear any unwanted STDs right up!

^Oh heavens no! It's a common misconception that you're supposed to water your whores, and while it is a simple mistake, it often costs many budding whorticulturists their prosticrops. What you want to do is use liquid cocaine and premium aged semen instead of water, it makes them grow like a charm. If you're all out of either or both, elderly man saliva, the sweat of a fully developed prostitute or even urine should work as well.

And with that, you're all on break for the next, eh... let's say 40 minutes. Yeah, that sounds good.

-pukes then passes out-

Unknown · 2012-02-21 02:58:25

The user and all related content has been deleted.

Gelzo · 2012-02-21 03:04:36

What makes the semen "premium" and how aged does it have to be? Can I make my own?

Manly McMacho · 2012-02-21 03:09:06

zZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzwoahwhatididn'twantwhodidtheface

I mean, premium semen is semen considered of a higher quality than other semen, usually the semen of someone who eats lots of fresh fruit, or just the semen of a rich dude. It is usually aged for a good week or so, but that time can be shorter if it's from a really old man, as the old man balls act as a sort of makeshift semen aging center of sorts.

Viani · 2012-02-21 03:46:55

You stole this from me you dumbass

I made this thread first you dumbass

and Horticulture is about plants you dumbass

lee4hmz · 2012-02-21 03:48:57

I saw "premium semen" and thought we were talking about, like, angus bull semen or something. Because bulls are funny.

Manly McMacho · 2012-02-21 03:56:01

^^Not a question, sit back down.

^Bulls are funny.

Which reminds me, if you end up with left over whores, stick 'em on the grill and serve 'em up for your next party! The guests will love it!

Viani · 2012-02-21 03:58:02

PANTY STOCKING

PANTY PANTY STOCKING YEAH

ITS LIKE DRAWN TOGETHER + POWERPUFF GIRLS

Ace Rimmer · 2012-02-21 04:02:35

^

Rawr

Gelzo · 2012-02-21 04:05:50

I actually like the humor of PSG more than that of either.

Ace Rimmer · 2012-02-21 04:07:29

What if your prositicrops prefer the female of the species?

Manly McMacho · 2012-02-21 04:08:15

Then you harvest them immediately and replant them among your other lesbicrops. Duh.

Ha, kidding, you have to burn them.

Gelzo · 2012-02-21 04:16:41

Can anyone point me to the town co-op? I need to buy a ho for my garden.

Ace Rimmer · 2012-02-21 04:17:00

Why burn them?:o

I'm sure the lesbicrops can make money

Manly McMacho · 2012-02-21 04:20:48

-smacks Whale-

You dummie, don't you know only men pay for prostitutes?

I thought I saw a female trick once but it was just a dude with really long hair, rosy cheeks and colossal m00bz.

My god, the m00bz on that guy...

Ace Rimmer · 2012-02-21 04:40:23

You dummie, don't you know only men pay for prostitutes?

So, who pays to use you then ^_^

Manly McMacho · 2012-02-21 04:43:59

For you information, she doesn't pay, she gets it for free for shipping me here from Asiastanada. Now stop being an impudent whore and get back to learning about creating more impudent whores.

Ace Rimmer · 2012-02-21 04:50:42

@vM: Did you grow Viani?

Manly McMacho · 2012-02-21 04:54:42

My first crop ever! It really showed me what I did wrong, allowing me to improve immensely. Unfortunately, it's completely useless and for some reason it's flame retardant, so, not much I can do with it.

Feel free to take it home with you!

Ace Rimmer · 2012-02-21 04:55:14

I dont know what to feel her

Manly McMacho · 2012-02-21 04:56:46

-superglues Viani to Whale, their penii stuck together-

Viani · 2012-02-21 05:00:23

Leave me alone, voci. I'm sick of you. You are creepy. and I want you to leave me alone.

Manly McMacho · 2012-02-21 05:02:25

-leaves Viani alone-

Anonus · 2012-02-21 05:10:10

I'm watching Drawn Together's first season right now and I probably prefer PSG's humor to its humor as well. For one thing it doesn't try too hard to be offensive.

Gelzo · 2012-02-21 05:33:40

I guess that's more or less how I see it. PSG was a lot more creative, too, and it bothered to have an overarching plot. Drawn Together had three seasons, and was more or less a string of outlandish dirty jokes without as much of an effort made for timing, or something like that. Not that that isn't something good in its own way, it's just that I'd personally pick the former over the latter if I had to.

Viani · 2012-02-21 05:47:52

Drawn Together had Negative Continuity (sometimes) so having an overlaying plot would be really bad since they have to hit the reset button every episode.

Unless, there was like, something Reality Show related to win like in the First Season. Then again, the 2nd+3rd season is so drastically different than the 1st that they really can't be conveyed in the same manner.

Gelzo · 2012-02-21 06:19:00

No, I'm not saying it would have made the series better. It just worked well for PSG.

WHORTICULTURE 101

Comments

Howdy, Stranger!

Categories