The Dragon Sister's Dictionary
Like The Devil's Dictionary, but more updated, more specialized, and less amusing. Or more. Who knows.
Kim Kardashian
n.
An entity whose apparent purpose of existence is to be the subject of gossip tabloids.
punt
v.
To stop working hard, such as by procrastinating.
tool
v.
To work hard on something.
anime
n.
1. Japanese cartoons.
2. Cartoons of a visual style that tends to be frequently used in Japanese cartoons.
3. Something whose definition people perpetually argue about.
Kim Kardashian
n.
An entity whose apparent purpose of existence is to be the subject of gossip tabloids.
punt
v.
To stop working hard, such as by procrastinating.
tool
v.
To work hard on something.
anime
n.
1. Japanese cartoons.
2. Cartoons of a visual style that tends to be frequently used in Japanese cartoons.
3. Something whose definition people perpetually argue about.
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n.
(euphemistic) Shitposting.
n.
A former Republican U.S. Senator from Idaho, who is not gay.
n.
A sacred food. Anyone who opines otherwise is a heretic.
n.
1. A food consumed while observing an amusing sequence of events.
2. (metonymy) Said amusing sequence of events.
n.
A question that should not have been asked, yet is repeatedly being answered eagerly.
n.
1. Rolling a 1 on a d20.
2. An opportunity for comedy.
n. (pl. only)
A small tool, supposedly used for manipulating fine objects, but actually only used for repairing staplers broken by students. Assuming they can be repaired at all.
n.
A tool for punching small pieces of metal through paper to fasten them together. Regularly broken by students. When broken, there is approximately a 1 in 50 chance that it becomes unrepairable.
n. (usu. pl.)
1. Ways that something went wrong.
2. Ways that something could probably have gone wrong.
n.
When the person next to you has a lot of fun, but you don't, you have this instead.
n.
A day on which other people conspire to waste your time, and you're supposed to enjoy it.
n.
A day of the year on which cosplay becomes socially acceptable outside anime conventions. Despite its fearsome reputation, it turns out to be completely innocuous and an excuse to make use of plastic trinkets and distribute and consume candy.
Actually Scary Halloween
n.
A day on which Halloween is scheduled but is not celebrated.
adj.
1. associated with large breasts.
2. associated with cows.
Imipolexity
n.
1. an amount of association with large breasts.
2. an amount of association with cows.
n.
A piece of social media internet infrastructure whose most common use is barking opinions at other people, with the expectation that they'll bark back at you.
n.
A piece of social media internet infrastructure whose most common use is barking opinions at other people, with the expectation that they'll bark with you.
n.
A noble creature, but one that humanity is often allergic to being compared to and is therefore mentioned for use as an insult.
adj., chiefly British
Something that you thought was a good or fun idea or otherwise advisable, but resulted in a lot of trouble for you instead.
"Aww, you've done a very silly thing indeed, little hedgehog, getting yourself wedged in an empty tin like this."
"I did a very silly thing today. I tried to imitate Phoenix Wright slamming his stand, by slamming an imaginary desk while showering, but that just left me bruised on the knees and face from slipping in the shower.
v. tr. chiefly internet slang
to do something very bad to [object noun], either by accident or (when used in irony) intentionally. standalone use is generally assumed to be past tense, but other tenses are possible, especially with helping verbs.
n.
[etymology 1]
firing a rocket to the ground in order to boost oneself upward using the explosion. a common feature in some videogames, particularly FPS games with rocket launchers.
[etymology 2]
a jump that propels the user upward at high velocity, reaching heights that are atypically higher compared to normal jumping. a common feature in some videogames, particularly 2D platformers.
n.
a nuisance fire alarm, generally when a small amount of smoke, often from slightly-burnt food, activates a smoke alarm, causing an entire building's worth of residents to evacuate despite the fact that there is very little or no actual risk of fire involved.
so-named because a common cause of such an alarm is leaving popcorn in the microwave for too long, and popcorn is a common food consumed by university students in living in large numbers in dormitories. burnt popcorn alarms are most common in university dormitories (and causing one will get you called out by the fire department as well as your fellow residents), but do occasionally occur in apartment complexes inhabited by adults.
n.
that feel when something really petty frustrates you to the point that you want to break something.
[Etymology: Gabriel Tenma White's response to annoying situations, in Gabriel DropOut.]
[repost]
i haven't paid attention to it but it wouldn't surprise me
n.
why you don't think you sound like a nasally fart when you actually do.
n.
a professional arguer.
marketing agent
n.
a professional troll.
n.
we'll start doing something we think works, and we'll figure out whether it's working later, as we go