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Ash's Fairy Facts

AshUpquarkAshUpquark
in Chocolate
Did you know that fairies enjoy card games?  Well, they do!  52 pick-up is especially popular, and can keep them occupied for hours.
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  • AshUpquarkAshUpquark
    pretty much some white kid
    SUBSCRIBE FOR MORE FAIRY FACTS
  • Salix BabylonikaSalix Babylonika
    https://i.imgur.com/IoGc2jA.jpg
    what about Rotunda
  • AshUpquarkAshUpquark
    pretty much some white kid
    I don't know that game.  Tell me about it.

    Fairies do like rings, so perhaps.
  • Salix BabylonikaSalix Babylonika
    https://i.imgur.com/IoGc2jA.jpg
    it's when everyone sits in a circle and picks up a playing card. After all the cards are gone, we go outside and dance in the autumn rain and howl at the stars while throwing the cards into the mud and stepping on them.
  • AshUpquarkAshUpquark
    pretty much some white kid
    You should teach it them, I have a feeling they'll love it.
  • AshUpquarkAshUpquark
    pretty much some white kid
    Despite her zeal in enforcing traffic regulations, the Safety Fairy is not an employee of any Centralian police force or law enforcement agency.

    She does, however, have a crime fighting magical girl alter-ego!  Have you seen her?  She wears a blaze orange dress and fights to save us all from horrible maimings!
  • Princess AlicePrincess Alice
    You are the end result of a “would you push the button” prompt where the prompt was “you have unlimited godlike powers but you appear to all and sundry to be an impetuous child” – Zero, 2022
    Yes good thread
  • AshUpquarkAshUpquark
    pretty much some white kid
    Thank you Princess! ^_^
  • AshUpquarkAshUpquark
    pretty much some white kid
    Fairies won't die if you say you don't believe in them, but they will think you're an idiot.

    If you say you believe in them, though, they will be motivated to do their best!
  • AshUpquarkAshUpquark
    pretty much some white kid
    Many fairies enjoy helping mortals, but you should be especially careful in how you respond, as an incorrect response may lead to hurt feelings. Fairies do not work for thanks, but a heartfelt gift may be greatly appreciated.
  • Princess AlicePrincess Alice
    You are the end result of a “would you push the button” prompt where the prompt was “you have unlimited godlike powers but you appear to all and sundry to be an impetuous child” – Zero, 2022
    What's fairy humour like? Can you tell us any fairy jokes?
  • AshUpquarkAshUpquark
    pretty much some white kid
    Most fairy jokes aren't really the kind you tell.  Pranks are a huge and important part of their culture, so they play a lot of those.  Transporting people 5 miles on a breeze, for instance, that's a popular one, though the Safety Fairy has been pushing for legislation against it since time immemorial.

    I do know the odd fairy joke, though.  Here's one: Q. How many mortals does it take to change a lightbulb?  A. Only one, but it still won't help them see past the ends of their noses!
  • AshUpquarkAshUpquark
    pretty much some white kid
    These days it's widely known that the Wave Fairy and the Particle Fairy are one and the same, but not everyone knows what it is they do: they are responsible for the collapsing of the wavefunction.

    They once left a negative review on Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality, and Yudkowsky has been trying to discredit them ever since.
  • AlduinAlduin
    edited 2016-02-17 15:44:32
    Do fairies sour the crops and peck out the eyes of people that don't leave offerings to them?

    Can fairies be warded off with cold iron?

    Are fairies responsible for Sudden Infant Death Syndrome?
  • AshUpquarkAshUpquark
    edited 2016-02-17 17:10:33
    pretty much some white kid
    Acererak said:

    Do fairies sour the crops and peck out the eyes of people that don't leave offerings to them?


    Not generally (and most fairies do not have beaks!).  You certainly don't want to get on their bad side, as under provocation, they can be very destructive or violent.  It's also true that if a fairy really wants to hurt you, they will usually go for your eyes first.

    The fairies of Centralia are mostly quite benign, however.  The Permanent Maiming Fairy and the Ultraviolence Fairy are best avoided by mortals, but they're not at all typical.
    Acererak said:

    Can fairies be warded off with cold iron?

    Yes.  As a matter of fact, fairies enjoy coming into contact with cold iron about as much as werewolves enjoy being hit with a silver bullet.

    For this reason, if you wish to encourage fairy visitors, I would recommend not keeping iron objects around the place, and especially not iron weapons.  It is the surest way to make them feel unwelcome.
    Acererak said:

    Are fairies responsible for Sudden Infant Death Syndrome?

    Not in Centralia, at least.

    It must be remembered that mortals have tended to be very distrustful of fairies, so when something bad happens that they can't explain, they will often blame the fairies for it.  Witches have also been the victim of similar stereotyping.  That's not to say fairies aren't dangerous, but you shouldn't take every bad thing you hear about them at face value.
  • Princess AlicePrincess Alice
    You are the end result of a “would you push the button” prompt where the prompt was “you have unlimited godlike powers but you appear to all and sundry to be an impetuous child” – Zero, 2022
    What's with those keyboards the Hacker Fairy sells that don't have any letters or symbols printed on the keys?
  • AshUpquarkAshUpquark
    pretty much some white kid
    They're adjustable to a variety of keyboard layouts, including ones compatible with FaeFone's OS.

    He maintains that if you're not a lamer you don't NEED anything printed on the keys.  He has every possible layout memorized.
  • AlduinAlduin
    edited 2016-02-17 17:44:38
    How does one approach your king, the Dagda? I am but a humble electric eel...
  • AshUpquarkAshUpquark
    pretty much some white kid
    Ah... I fear there has been some confusion.  I am not one of the Tuatha Dé Danann, merely a regular inhabitant of Centralia who happens to have spent a lot of time with its fairy inhabitants.  Perhaps you would like to know how you should approach Princess Alice?  My preferred approach is with some measure of caution.  She has a way of finding trouble.

    To answer your question, however: the Dagda should be approached with respect and with an appropriate offering.  On no account should you laugh at his appearance, and you should be aware that those who meet the Dagda are never the same afterwards.
  • AnonusAnonus
    I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    do the fairies of Centralia get along with humans?
  • Yarrun XIXYarrun XIX
    Whores! we want "poems that kill."
    Assassin poems, Poems that shoot
    guns. Poems that wrestle cops into alleys
    and take their weapons leaving them dead
    What is the Ultra violence fairy like?
  • AshUpquarkAshUpquark
    pretty much some white kid
    Anonus said:

    do the fairies of Centralia get along with humans?

    That depends on the fairy, and the human!  It varies considerably.

    For the most part, fairies have always kept themselves somewhat apart from Centralian society, but there were always exceptions to this, namely fairies who take a particular interest in mortals and mortal activities.  A landmark step in improving fairy-mortal relations was an outreach scheme spearheaded by Princess Jeanette, which led to the employment of various fairies in government offices, effectively giving their adopted titles legal weight.  These included the Safety Fairy, the Transportation Fairy and the National Security Fairy.

    Truth be told, I think most mortals have been very impatient with fairies, often to the point of ingratitude.  Take the Safety Fairy - she works very hard to keep us all safe!  And yet most people respond with annoyance, or even play mean jokes on her.


    Yarrun XIX said:

    What is the Ultra violence fairy like?

    Volatile.  He can go from striking up a friendly conversation to smashing your kneecaps in the blink of an eye, just on a whim.

    He's not someone I know personally, because why would I go anywhere near someone like that if I can avoid it?  However, I do know that he talks in this weird dialect, and apparently he's into classical music.
  • AnonusAnonus
    I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    the National Security Fairy!
  • AshUpquarkAshUpquark
    pretty much some white kid
    Yes.  She likes to encrypt official documents.  Occasionally she remembers to give Princess Alice the key to read them.
  • AlduinAlduin
    Have you ever met The Morrigan?
  • Sredni VashtarSredni Vashtar
    “I'm surprised. Those clothes… but, aren't you…?”
    Is it dangerous to put the Ultraviolence Fairy and the Questionable Outfits Fairy in the same room? I've heard that's how anime happens.
  • AshUpquarkAshUpquark
    pretty much some white kid
    Alduin said:

    Have you ever met The Morrigan?

    I haven't, and while a part of me regrets this, one should hope never to see her.


    Sredni Vashtar said:

    Is it dangerous to put the Ultraviolence Fairy and the Questionable Outfits Fairy in the same room? I've heard that's how anime happens.

    That is how you make anime real.
  • AlduinAlduin
    Why not?
  • AshUpquarkAshUpquark
    pretty much some white kid
    Because when she appears before mortals, it's usually to deliver a warning, and she only does that when the circumstances are exceptionally dire.
  • AlduinAlduin
    I'm not mortal, so I don't have that problem. You guys sure have it rough.
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