I really need to clean up the vocals on "The Story Remains the Same...." someday, it's a great piece of mine other than the muddiness of the vocal samples.
So. My sister randomly wanted the laptop while I was recording, so now I'm stuck with nothing but an iPod touch to do this with, and GarageBand barely works on it.
Frak, I'll just record it on the Soundcloud app and call it a night. Bluh.
Actually I was going to sample "Do You Like Waffles?" by Parry Gripp and the "one large coffee, fuck you please" line from Aesop Rock's "Coffee" and call it the Healthy Breakfast Mix.
Welcome to the world of A.E. van Vogt, the madcap storyteller who goes through plots faster than an otolaryngologist uses up tongue depressers. If writing fiction were simply a matter of setting up conflicts and resolutions, which lead to more conflicts and resolutions…well, van Vogt would have won the Nobel Prize in literature. As it stands, his books are more slapdash than sublime, yet captivating in their sheer manic energy.
If I had to sum up van Vogt's oeuvre in a single phrase, I would opt for: "never a dull moment." This might even have been his personal mantra. No author had less faith in his readers' attention span than A.E. van Vogt. He refuses to give them a chance to get bored, inserting some death-defying stunt or crazy galactic escapade every few paragraphs. Sometimes he must abandon other lesser (on van Vogt's scale, if not yours) virtues— coherence, character development, plausible motivations, stylish prose—in the process. But he never, ever lets his story lag.
Of all the science fiction authors of the Golden Age, van Vogt came closest to transferring the roller-coaster pacing of the movie serial on to the printed page. Before Slan reaches its surprise conclusion—and, yes, it’s fitting, given the tendencies of this author, that he tosses out another unexpected plot twist in the final sentence—van Vogt has gone through more generations of weaponry than a decade of Department of Defense expenditures. His story has taken us underwater, underground, inside mountains, and off to outer space. Various love interests arrive on the scene, but rarely last for more than few paragraphs. Just as a marathon runner can't afford to linger and enjoy the scenery, van Vogt refuses to slacken his pace. No, he won’t even look over his shoulder to gauge the competition. Onward the story rushes, in a breathless race to the finish line.
That sounds like something I ought to read. Sometime
An Open Apology to Amy Koch on Behalf of All Gay and Lesbian Minnesotans
Dear Ms. Koch,
On behalf of all gays and lesbians living in Minnesota, I would like to wholeheartedly apologize for our community’s successful efforts to threaten your traditional marriage. We are ashamed of ourselves for causing you to have what the media refers to as an “illicit affair” with your staffer, and we also extend our deepest apologies to him and to his wife. These recent events have made it quite clear that our gay and lesbian tactics have gone too far, affecting even the most respectful of our society. We apologize that our selfish requests to marry those we love has cheapened and degraded traditional marriage so much that we caused you to stray from your own holy union for something more cheap and tawdry. And we are doubly remorseful in knowing that many will see this as a form of sexual harassment of a subordinate. It is now clear to us that if we were not so self-focused and myopic, we would have been able to see that the time you wasted diligently writing legislation that would forever seal the definition of marriage as being between one man and one woman, could have been more usefully spent reshaping the legal definition of “adultery.” Forgive us. As you know, we are not church-going people, so we are unable to fully appreciate that “gay marriage” is incompatible with Christian values, despite the fact that those values carry a biblical tradition of adultery such as yours. We applaud you for keeping that tradition going.
And finally, shame on us for thinking that marriage is a private affair, and that our marriage would have little impact on anyone’s family. We now see that marriage is more than that. It is an agreement with society. We should listen to the Minnesota Family Council when it tells us that marriage is about being public, which explains why marriages are public ceremonies. Never did we realize that it is exactly because of this societal agreement that the entire world is looking at you in shame and disappointment instead of minding its own business.
From the bottom of our hearts, we ask that you please accept our apology.
I was actually thinking that (since the cover of the original is a picture of you, given what I now refer to as the Tre treatment), the cover of the remix album could be a picture of me given a similar treatment, but in purple instead of green (as purple is the opposite of green)
Introduction to loaded statements and begging the question 101, it looks like. :P If it were a questionnaire for a survey, the writer would probably be fired for openly propagandizing.
Remember back in the 50s when they'd record like Elvis singing YOU AIN'T NOTHIN BUT A HOUND DOG and then they'd turn the record over and reverse it and it was all NYERP NYERP NYERP NYERP NYERP and people were all like, "That is actually the voice of Satan coming from that song."
Well, those questions and answers are both helpfully vague.
I'm also a little surprised they let the test-taker get away with answering in what appears to be green Sharpie.
Doctor Who reference in Pokemon B2W2? Headcanon accepted.
I got a knee to the crotch from my superiors in the Marines once because I was behind her copying her movements while she was yelling at the rest of us
of course even while I was writhing in pain I was laughing because we think that kind of stuff is funny
Remember back in the 50s when they'd record like Elvis singing YOU AIN'T NOTHIN BUT A HOUND DOG and then they'd turn the record over and reverse it and it was all NYERP NYERP NYERP NYERP NYERP and people were all like, "That is actually the voice of Satan coming from that song."
Well, derp. I can't believe I forgot both of those exist. Even so, this obviously isn't a formal test of any kind. If I recall correctly, only blue or black ink would be allowed if that was the case.
Comments
My Frosty is chocolate but thanks for asking
that movie is...fucked
Never seen it.
The title is a truncated version of the original title ("Wherever You Go, From Memphis to Chicago, The Story Remains the Same....")
Although some of the musical segments are decent at least.
^.v Derpy!
I see.
I think The Onomichi Suite ("Out of that Darkness", "Onomichi", "Someday in the Rain?") is some of my best work as far as just being chill goes.
ha
I see what they did there.
Frak, I'll just record it on the Soundcloud app and call it a night. Bluh.
Thankfully, that'll be one thing I won't miss once she goes to college, but that'll basically be it.
BLUH I'LL HAVE TO BE THE OLDEST KID IN THE HOUSE
I'M NOT WORTHY
i get so angry sometimes i just punch plankton --Klinotaxis
i get so angry sometimes i just punch plankton --Klinotaxis
I mean if you'd rather me do the other thing that's fine, I'll just have to find new samples.
Why yes I do plan this out in advance sometimes. Why do you ask? >_>;
OK
what are we going to call the remix album, anyway? I was thinking The District Revisited.
Other than that particular remix, the remix album will probably sound a tad darker overall.
Dear Ms. Koch,
On behalf of all gays and lesbians living in Minnesota, I would like to wholeheartedly apologize for our community’s successful efforts to threaten your traditional marriage. We are ashamed of ourselves for causing you to have what the media refers to as an “illicit affair” with your staffer, and we also extend our deepest apologies to him and to his wife. These recent events have made it quite clear that our gay and lesbian tactics have gone too far, affecting even the most respectful of our society.
We apologize that our selfish requests to marry those we love has cheapened and degraded traditional marriage so much that we caused you to stray from your own holy union for something more cheap and tawdry. And we are doubly remorseful in knowing that many will see this as a form of sexual harassment of a subordinate.
It is now clear to us that if we were not so self-focused and myopic, we would have been able to see that the time you wasted diligently writing legislation that would forever seal the definition of marriage as being between one man and one woman, could have been more usefully spent reshaping the legal definition of “adultery.”
Forgive us. As you know, we are not church-going people, so we are unable to fully appreciate that “gay marriage” is incompatible with Christian values, despite the fact that those values carry a biblical tradition of adultery such as yours. We applaud you for keeping that tradition going.
Thank you.
John Medeiros
Minneapolis MN
I was actually thinking that (since the cover of the original is a picture of you, given what I now refer to as the Tre treatment), the cover of the remix album could be a picture of me given a similar treatment, but in purple instead of green (as purple is the opposite of green)
if you'd be okay with that.
man
I really wish that King Kapisi's albums were available in any capacity (legal or otherwise) in this country.
Because seriously, "Screems from tha' Old Plantation" is freaking amazing.
a random list of songs I am currently working on in some way
That is an incredibly stupid test.
Just saying.
If I had to guess, it's from that D.A.R.E.-affiliate program whose name escapes me.
I had to do it when I went to Catholic school, they made us put on stupid skits involving grossly oversimplified situations.
Also, they never let the one black girl in our class play anyone specified as black in the skit scripts. For some bizarre reason.
I got a knee to the crotch from my superiors in the Marines once because I was behind her copying her movements while she was yelling at the rest of us
of course even while I was writhing in pain I was laughing because we think that kind of stuff is funny
See that kind of thing
is why I could never be in the military.