You are the end result of a “would you push the button” prompt where the prompt was “you have unlimited godlike powers but you appear to all and sundry to be an impetuous child” – Zero, 2022
Usually I'd charge a fee for these lessons in rhetoric, but charity is a virtue, so I thought I'd give you a few for free.
The Golden Rule. Never, under any circumstance, concede that you are making a claim or that you might have a belief about something. Only theists make claims and have beliefs. A-theist means "not theist", therefore "not making claims". Many of the tips and strategies that follow will be more specific implementations of this golden rule.
It is quite acceptable to hang out on atheist forums, laugh at theists behind their back/to their face, and leave copies of The God Delusion in hotel drawers, but the moment you are challenged to substantiate a claim, remember: you are an agnostic, and are therefore not making any claims.
Whenever the argument begins to get onto the difficult question of whether a god exists or not, try to bring the argument back not to the existence of god, but to your personal disposition in relation to claim of the existence of god. Go into exquisite detail about the differences between agnosticism and gnosticism, lack of belief and disbelief, and making and rejecting claims. Perhaps you'll win by argumentum ad boredom.
Remember to claim that agnostics are atheists too, because then our numbers look bigger.
As are babies.
If you are asked to justify your belief in scientific facts, all you need is to point out that science "works". Anyone who can't see this is some kind of idiot.
Only scientific evidence counts as evidence for anything. If any theist tries any of that philosophy stuff on you, remind them that science works while philosophy didn't invent the laptop they are typing on. Math is empirical, morality is empirical, logic is empirical. Any concessions toward anything non-empirical is a possible weak point in the armour of atheism.
Remember, before entering the debate, that you are the enlightened one, and your opponent is a theist, and therefore definitely stupid in some way. You may have to talk down to them to be understood.
Claims about invisible pink unicorns are analogous to claims about god in every way. Exploit this curious fact to your advantage at every opportunity, all the while being careful to never actually claim that pink unicorns don't exist, or that you don't believe in them. You just reject having a lack of disbelief in pink unicorns.
Plan B. If the debate isn't going your way at any point, or any challenge is raised to the atheistic lack-of-worldview, you can turn it round in a pinch by stating that the burden of proof is on the one making the claim, and you are not making a claim. Because more important than whether a claim is true is your personal disposition toward the claim (which is, of course, that you never made such a thing in the first place).
it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts
You are the end result of a “would you push the button” prompt where the prompt was “you have unlimited godlike powers but you appear to all and sundry to be an impetuous child” – Zero, 2022
The Irate Gamer's gone from amusingly bad to just...sad these days.
He did a Splatoon review where it was blatantly obvious that he'd only played the first few levels of the single-player mode. He didn't even make am mention of the multiplayer gameplay.
You are the end result of a “would you push the button” prompt where the prompt was “you have unlimited godlike powers but you appear to all and sundry to be an impetuous child” – Zero, 2022
My favorite Irate Gamer moment will always be when Ralph Baer, the inventor of the video game console, went through Chris's Magnavox Odyssey video and made a detailed list of the things he got wrong.
Comments
I saw the Splatoon Wii U bundle for $300 but I did not have $300 so I didn't buy it
we'll get you the $60 and then we'll all go to your house to have Splatoon marathons
if a show has upwards of 5 hours of footage i will probably not finish it
or if i do it will take literal years
Teekyu happens so fast that i don't think i could handle watching all 90 minutes in one go
i slightly exaggerated with the 5 hours thing, i've finished plenty of seasons that were longer than that in less than a year
i'm sorry!
i only meant with a lowercase r
i am not aRushist, only arushist
Usually I'd charge a fee for these lessons in rhetoric, but charity is a virtue, so I thought I'd give you a few for free.
Now, ban me.
Panurge, who is that in your avatar anyway?
Jesus, and people complain about the Irate Gamer?
He did a Splatoon review where it was blatantly obvious that he'd only played the first few levels of the single-player mode. He didn't even make am mention of the multiplayer gameplay.