Generic choose your own whatever

Manly McMacho · 2012-02-09 02:52:45

Once upon a time, there was a girl, and her name was-

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NAME MISSING

PLEASE INPUT FIRST NAME

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PLEASE INPUT LAST NAME

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Irene · 2012-02-09 02:53:24

Ptera

Laser

Haven · 2012-02-09 02:53:41

PLEASE INPUT FIRST NAME

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PO

PLEASE INPUT LAST NAME

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NY

Manly McMacho · 2012-02-09 02:54:42

Once upon a time, there was a girl, and her name was Ptera "Pony" Laser. This girl was-

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AGE MISSING

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Anonus · 2012-02-09 02:55:40

30

Gelzo · 2012-02-09 02:56:30

Dicks.

Manly McMacho · 2012-02-09 02:56:47

Once upon a time, there was a girl, and her name was Ptera "Pony" Laser. This girl was 26 Dicks old. She lived in a small yet cozy house with her two sisters-

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NAMES MISSING

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Viani · 2012-02-09 02:57:40

CASEY ANTHONY

RIN KOKONOE

Manly McMacho · 2012-02-09 03:00:44

Once upon a time, there was a girl, and her name was Ptera "Pony" Laser. This girl was 26 Dicks old. She lived in a small yet cozy house with her two sisters, CASEY ANTHONY and RIN KOKONOE. One day her and her sisters were all having breakfast together when they heard an odd sound coming from the backyard. "I wonder what that could be?" said RIN KOKONOE. "Why don't you go check it out?" said CASEY ANTHONY. "Pfffft, and leave behind my trix? Bitch you cray." RIN KOKONOE responded. "I guess I'll see what it is, then." Said Ptera, before muttering "lazy bitches" under her breath.

She went outside, and what she saw shocked her. It was-

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OBJECT MISSING

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Gelzo · 2012-02-09 03:01:57

A helicopter with giant dildoes instead of helicopter blades.

Ace Rimmer · 2012-02-09 03:02:03

Godzilla

Viani · 2012-02-09 03:03:54

A GODZILLA HELICOPTER with DILDO PROPELLERS

Haven · 2012-02-09 03:04:22

burrito

Manly McMacho · 2012-02-09 03:05:10

Once upon a time, there was a girl, and her name was Ptera "Pony" Laser. This girl was 26 Dicks old. She lived in a small yet cozy house with her two sisters, CASEY ANTHONY and RIN KOKONOE. One day her and her sisters were all having breakfast together when they heard an odd sound coming from the backyard. "I wonder what that could be?" said RIN KOKONOE. "Why don't you go check it out?" said CASEY ANTHONY. "Pfffft, and leave behind my trix? Bitch you cray." RIN KOKONOE responded. "I guess I'll see what it is, then." Said Ptera, before muttering "lazy bitches" under her breath.

She went outside, and what she saw shocked her. It was A helicopter with giant dildoes instead of helicopter blades. and also Godzilla. "Wowie zowie!" She said, then immediately smacked herself for doing so because who even says that, I mean, gawd. So she goes up to A helicopter with giant dildoes instead of helicopter blades., steps inside and starts pushing buttons at random. It shoots millions of feet into the air as Ptera freaks out and Godzilla destroys her house and her two sisters. "OH GOD SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME HELP ME!" She cried, until-

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SHOEHORNED EVENT SERVING TO SAVE PROTAGONIST FROM CERTAIN DEATH MISSING

PLEASE INPUT SHOEHORNED EVENT SERVING TO SAVE PROTAGONIST FROM CERTAIN DEATH

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Haven · 2012-02-09 03:05:59

Ace Rimmer · 2012-02-09 03:10:21

Btw, Haven, how does that card work?

Is it on the printed toughness of the targeted card?

Gelzo · 2012-02-09 03:11:20

Well, it uses whatever is the toughness when it's on the battlefield again.

Viani · 2012-02-09 03:13:51

usp

Manly McMacho · 2012-02-09 03:13:52

Once upon a time, there was a girl, and her name was Ptera "Pony" Laser. This girl was 26 Dicks old. She lived in a small yet cozy house with her two sisters, CASEY ANTHONY and RIN KOKONOE. One day her and her sisters were all having breakfast together when they heard an odd sound coming from the backyard. "I wonder what that could be?" said RIN KOKONOE. "Why don't you go check it out?" said CASEY ANTHONY. "Pfffft, and leave behind my trix? Bitch you cray." RIN KOKONOE responded. "I guess I'll see what it is, then." Said Ptera, before muttering "lazy bitches" under her breath.

She went outside, and what she saw shocked her. It was A helicopter with giant dildoes instead of helicopter blades. and also Godzilla. "Wowie zowie!" She said, then immediately smacked herself for doing so because who even says that, I mean, gawd. So she goes up to A helicopter with giant dildoes instead of helicopter blades., steps inside and starts pushing buttons at random. It shoots millions of feet into the air as Ptera freaks out and Godzilla destroys her house and her two sisters. "OH GOD SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME HELP ME!" She cried, until she played her "Vanish into Memory" card, removing gravity from the game, allowing her to flyswim safely out of the A helicopter with giant dildoes instead of helicopter blades., which was now just sort of floating idly in mid air.

She flew down to her house to tell her sisters all about what happened, until she witnessed the Godzilla induced Carnage. "Oh god, my house! This can't be! I just hope my dear beloved sisters, CASEY ANTHONY and RIN KOKONOE are alright!" Checking the wreckage, she found their dead deceased corpses and openly wept for the loss of her two most loved people. She had lost everything: Her home, her family, her collection of stolen panties, everything, and now she had nothing left to live for. She was about to end it all, when she realized if she did, she'd only let Godzilla get away scott free with his crimes. "No, I won't let that happen! Even if it takes the rest of my life, I will hunt and kill Godzilla! AAAAAIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEE!!!" And thus began her holy quest to destroy Godzilla.

Ptera went to the library to find someone to aid her in her quest to kill Godzilla, and there she found-

PLEASE INPUT FIRST PARTY MEMBER

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^...We'll work that in eventually.

Viani · 2012-02-09 03:15:14

Bleh, Princess Clara's Special Cousin from Drawn Together

Manly McMacho · 2012-02-09 03:21:24

Ptera went to the library to find someone to aid her in her quest to kill Godzilla, and there she found Bleh, Princess Clara's Special Cousin from Drawn Together. "Hello", said Ptera, "would you like to join me in tracking down and murdering Godzilla as revenge for murdering my beloved sisters?" "On one level, I Am Sam is a crock, but on another, more vital one, it's very, very sweet—a simple love poem that does the job as surely as "Here Comes the Sun," another Beatles song (by George) that the movie invokes." Bleh replied. "Good enough! Now come, we must find a sensei to train us in the art of Godzilla killing! REVENGE, HO!" And with that, they exited the library. On their way to find a sensei, they ran into a hostile-

PLEASE INPUT SECONDARY RECURRING MAJOR ANTAGONIST

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Haven · 2012-02-09 03:23:06

gay deer

Ace Rimmer · 2012-02-09 03:23:10

Bob

Viani · 2012-02-09 03:23:38

FUCK YEAH you watched that show too and know the whole Iamsamthing she does

Manly McMacho · 2012-02-09 03:29:56

Ptera went to the library to find someone to aid her in her quest to kill Godzilla, and there she found Bleh, Princess Clara's Special Cousin from Drawn Together. "Hello", said Ptera, "would you like to join me in tracking down and murdering Godzilla as revenge for murdering my beloved sisters?" "On one level, I Am Sam is a crock, but on another, more vital one, it's very, very sweet—a simple love poem that does the job as surely as "Here Comes the Sun," another Beatles song (by George) that the movie invokes." Bleh replied. "Good enough! Now come, we must find a sensei to train us in the art of Godzilla killing! REVENGE, HO!" And with that, they exited the library. On their way to find a sensei, they ran into a hostile Bob, and his sidekick, gay deer!

"Hahahahaha! You shall not walk away from this encounter alive!" Boasted Bob. "Who the hell are you?" Asked Ptera, more confused than anything. "I am Bobm lesbian murderapist extraordinaire, and this is my sidekick, gay deer!" "I am tired of you straight humans oppressing my kind! Now it's my turn to-" "Shut up gay deer, I'm delivering my villainous speech, save that bullshit for later!" "The hell dude? I thought you were on my side!" "I am, but dammit, I'm the only one doing a villainous speech now, you'll get your turn later!" Ptera and Bleh tried to sneak away as the two argued, but Bob was far too Bob to let this happen. "Oh no you don't! We're going to kill you, then do unspeakable things to your body, then rob you and buy more weapons so we can do this to more women!" "FOR GAY DEER EVERYWHERE!" "Yeah, what that staggot said!"

"Well, I guess we can't run away. You ready to fight, Bleh?" "Sean Penn gives the most professionally shameful, cruelly wrongheaded performance ever nominated for a Best Actor Oscar, while Jessie Nelson Kristine Johnson's script lives down to Penn's ugly ineptitude with idiotic catchphrases and product placement."

"FIGHT!" Said Shao Kahn, as the four prepared for an intense battle. Ptera and Bleh were caught off guard as Bob and gay deer executed their signature duo attack-

PLEASE INPUT ATTACK

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Oh dear god I've become a dirty self-insert author

What have I done

^You bet your sweet as I do.

Viani · 2012-02-09 03:42:15

ULTIMATU FRY AWAY NAO TRANSFORMATION PANTY STOCKING BRIRRIANT ERIMINATION

Irene · 2012-02-09 03:49:33

Whirlwind Skyfire Thunderstrike!

Manly McMacho · 2012-02-09 03:56:26

[shit bitch c'mon I don't watch Panty and Stocking y u do dis to meeee]

"Well, I guess we can't run away. You ready to fight, Bleh?" "Sean Penn gives the most professionally shameful, cruelly wrongheaded performance ever nominated for a Best Actor Oscar, while Jessie Nelson Kristine Johnson's script lives down to Penn's ugly ineptitude with idiotic catchphrases and product placement."

"FIGHT!" Said Shao Kahn, as the four prepared for an intense battle. Ptera and Bleh were caught off guard as Bob and gay deer executed their signature duo attack...

"ULTIMATU FRY AWAY NAO TRANSFORMATION PANTY STOCKING BRIRRIANT ERIMINATION!"

The duo initiate the attack with a pole-dance transformation sequence that looks a lot like this, only with Bob and gay deer instead of Panty and Stocking because duh

As Ptera and Bleh are distracted, the two attack, Bob pistol whipping Ptera and sitting on top of her as gay deer slashes at Bleh, only able to deflect the blows with her helmet.

"Hehehe, I've got you now you little slut! Now, I'm gonna make you beg for mercy..."

Ptera screamed as Bob knee'd her right in the CLAM BUCKET while stuffing the gun in her mouth.

"Now suck it!"

"Mmmph mrrphm!"

"I SAID SUCK IT BITCH!"

"Just watching Penn and Fanning interact...is worth wading through the occasionally ankle-deep syrup!" Bleh yelled as she kicked the katana out of gay deer's hands. "Oh, so that's how you want to do this then? Fine, I'll still take you down!" and he took her down with a mighty tackle, prompting an intense bout of wrestling with no clear winner in sight.

"Why are you doing this? I don't even know who you are! Please leave us alone!*"

"Why? Oh I'll tell you why! It's because-"

PLEASE INPUT REASON

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*Translated from "gun-in-mouth-ese"

Viani · 2012-02-09 04:29:46

DEAD LITTLE SISTER WHO WAS ALSO ROMANTIC INTEREST OF TWO CHARACTERS INVOLVED IN STORY

Manly McMacho · 2012-02-09 04:47:18

"Hehehe, I've got you now you little slut! Now, I'm gonna make you beg for mercy..."

Ptera screamed as Bob knee'd her right in the CLAM BUCKET while stuffing the gun in her mouth.

"Now suck it!"

"Mmmph mrrphm!"

"I SAID SUCK IT BITCH!"

"Just watching Penn and Fanning interact...is worth wading through the occasionally ankle-deep syrup!" Bleh yelled as she kicked the katana out of gay deer's hands. "Oh, so that's how you want to do this then? Fine, I'll still take you down!" and he took her down with a mighty tackle, prompting an intense bout of wrestling with no clear winner in sight.

"Why are you doing this? I don't even know who you are! Please leave us alone!*"

"Why? Oh I'll tell you why! It's because..."

Bob started to tear up as she spoke, her maniacal grin turning into a bitter frown as she tried to hold in her tears.

"...You... You killed my sister!"

After stating this, she starting pounding Ptera's face in, her tears falling on the girl's face.

"YOU KILLED MY SISTER YOU BITCH! YOU JUST COULDN'T HANDLE THE FACT THAT SHE LEFT YOU FOR GODZILLA SO YOU MURDERED HER! I'LL HAVE MY REVENGE! ROT IN HELL YOU MONSTER!"

"Wait, please stop! I didn't kill anyone! It's not true!"

"LIES! THERE WAS EVEN A WITNESS, THEY SAW YOU DO IT! THEY SAW YOU SNEAK INTO OUR HOME AND SLIT HER THROAT YOU DIRTY LIAR!"

"No, you're wrong! I neve-AAAAHHH"

She screamed as Bob grabbed her eye, tossed it in the air and shot it.

"Now to finish you off! DIIIIEEEEE!"

Ptera closed her eyes as she waited for the inevitable, when Bleh ran towards the two and kicked Bob off of her.

"What the- no! Do not interrupt me, I shall have my revenge!"

"Though she has lines well beyond her years, that is not her fault, and she delivers them with adult sensibility and childlike charm."

"Try as you might, you can't change my mind! I'm going to rid the world of this monster once and for all!"

"Wait a minute... I remember now, it's all coming back to me!"

"What, the fact that you murdered my sister?!"

"No, but, I remember her! Yes, we dated in high school! I remember when that prick Godzilla stole her from me!"

"And then you killed her like the dog that you are!"

"No, I didn't! I never even knew she was dead! I'm so sorry for your loss, but I had nothing to do with her death!"

"Lies, all lies! Enough talk, die!"

She raised her gun once more, but was interrupted by a wail of pain coming from her sidekick.

"Oh god, I can't feel my legs! Bob, help!"

"What?! No! Dammit... We will meet again, Pony, and when we do..."

In one fluid motion, she grabbed her fallen comrade and fled the scene to find some help as Bleh helped Ptera off of the ground. "Woah... That was a close one, eh Bleh?"

"Although dramatically obvious and full of cliché, it will still tug those tears right out of your eyes."

"Truer words have never been spoken, my friend. Now come on, we have a sensei to find!"

Little did the girls know that they were being watched. From the shadows lurked a hidden fiend, known only as-

INPUT NAME

Viani · 2012-02-09 05:07:57

DR IVO ROBOTNIK

Manly McMacho · 2012-02-09 05:26:15

Little did the girls know that they were being watched. From the shadows lurked a hidden fiend, known only as-

DR IVO ROBOTNIK!

"Hehehe... I shall capture those two, and they shall lead me to that damnable hedgehog! I'll turn them into the deadliest hedgehog killers around! Then no one will be around to stop me from TAKING OVER THE WORLD! MWAHAHAHAHAAAAA!"

"Aw man, I can't wait until we find someone who can help us out! What about you, Bleh?"

"Penn repeatedly hits the ball out of the park, but the rest of the team never gets past first base."

"Here here! This is gonna be so... wait, what's this?" The two stop as they read the flyer stapled to a nearby pole.

"Need a sensei to teach you the deadly art of killer giant reptiles? Well look no further! Just find me at my dojo (directions below) and I shall train you to be the deadliest warriors the world has ever seen!"

"Bleh, this is the answer to all of our problems, no matter how obnoxiously convenient and contrived it is! Now let's go and find-"

INPUT NAME

Vriska · 2012-02-09 09:08:56

Zoosmell Pooplord.

Tre · 2012-02-09 11:34:41

Nebraska Jones.

Unknown · 2012-02-09 11:53:20

The user and all related content has been deleted.

Manly McMacho · 2012-02-10 03:19:51

"Bleh, this is the answer to all of our problems, no matter how obnoxiously convenient and contrived it is! Now let's go and find Zoosmell Pooplord and Nebraska Jones! But first, let's get something to eat! What're you in the mood for, Bleh?"

"His work is honest, insightful, and compassionate, and it may very well be the film that finally gets Penn that shining gold statuette he rightly deserves."

"Eh, I'm more in a Mexican mood myself. To Taco Bell!"

"I can't believe this! How could we just let her get away like that? She was right freaking there, I had her right where I wanted her! GOD, this is so fucking... AAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHH!"

"Geez, bring it down a couple of notches, drama queen. We had to go, remember? My legs?"

"Dammit, you always do this! I'm in the middle of something important, then BOOM, you go and fuck it all up by doing something stupid and getting yourself injured! What are you even good for? Just go away you stupid deer!"

"B-Bob! How could you say something like that? I thought we were friends! Well, fine then, if that's how you feel, you won't be seeing me anymore! Fuck you Bob!"

Bob watched as gay deer stormed out, tears streaming down his face. Normally she'd at least pretend to feel bad, but there was no time for that. She had to figure out her next plan to kill Ptera Laser. It was then that she had a brilliant idea*. "Yes, I've got it! That slut won't know what hit her! Hahahahahaha! AHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA~!"

"Oh my god, I'm positively stuffed. I still can't believe I ate all of those burritos. That was pretty good, wasn't it Bleh? ...Bleh? Hey, where'd you go? Bleh? Dammit, where are you?!"

What she didn't know was that Bleh was already in the evil grip of DR IVO ROBOTNIK!, who was already forcing her into his evil hedgehog killing / world domination plans**.

"I can't believe that girl! Well, I guess I can't wait around for her. I have to pay a visit to Zoosmell Pooplord and Nebraska Jones! I will become an unstoppable killing machine or die trying!"

And so, she was off.

*PLEASE INPUT BRILLIANT IDEA

**PLEASE INPUT EVIL HEDGEHOG KILLING / WORLD DOMINATION PLANS

Unknown · 2012-02-10 09:24:47

The user and all related content has been deleted.

Viani · 2012-03-10 04:31:04

What makes me sad is that this will never be finished.

Viani · 2012-05-06 04:47:45

What makes me sad is that this was never continued with what time Dee Gee came back.

Manly McMacho · 2012-05-07 00:11:31

Because it's fucking stupid is why.

I'd finish it now but my fingers are severly impaired.

Generic choose your own whatever

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