Hunt the Squonk

Odradek

You are in a dark forest. From the north you can hear a plaintive call. From the south you can hear buzzing. 

Directions are NORTH, SOUTH, WEST, and EAST

You have a Gun with (5) bullets

You have a sack

Imipolex G

>find a Wendy's and grab a burger there

Odradek

You go WEST for Wendy's. There is a sheer cliff wall. There are no burgers here of any kind. To the south you hear a stream. To the north you see a faint green glow.

SpruceZeus

>put sack on head

Odradek

Now it is darker. You cannot see anything. You are liable to trip over a rock and die.

Tachyon

>poke eyeholes in the sack

Obā-san

>remove sack from head before doing so

Odradek

You remove the sack and cut out eyeholes.

Now you have no peripheral vision, but you can see. Your chance of tripping on a rock and dying is now 20%.

To the south you hear a stream. To the north you see a faint green glow.

Imipolex G

go back to the start and sit down and wait for Godot.

Odradek

You take a few steps, then trip on a rock and die.

GAME OVER

START AGAIN?

START AGAIN FROM SAVED GAME?

Imipolex G

start over using cheat codes.

Odradek

start over using cheat codes.

↑↑↓↓←→←→BA

You are in a dark forest. From the north you can hear a plaintive call. From the south you can hear buzzing. 

Directions are NORTH, SOUTH, WEST, and EAST

You have a Gun with (6) bullets because you cheated and got an extra bullet, you cheater.

You have a sack

Klinotaxis

south

One-Winged Eagle

Go to the closet and squanch yourself.

Odradek

COMMAND NOT UNDERSTOOD AND YOU SHOULD FEEL VERY ASHAMED OF YOURSELF

You go SOUTH

You are now in the midst of a swarm of deadly MOSQUITO BEES

Fire your gun to scare them off? Y/N

Imipolex G

Then fire gun

Tachyon

and run, fast

Odradek

You fire your gun. BANG!!!!!!

You now have (5) bullets.

The swarm of mosquito bees briefly dissipates. 

Which direction do you move?

Klinotaxis

south

Imipolex G

up

One-Winged Eagle

Fine, go to a closet and perform auto-erotic aphyxiation. 

Odradek

You go SOUTH to a flat plain. Off in the EAST, you can hear a sound somewhere between a rolling wheel and a baby's rattle, to the SOUTH, you can see a great chasm. To the WEST there is a pigeon.

You can't go UP and you swore off that kind of thing years ago.

Klinotaxis

take pigeon

Odradek

You aren't close enough. You'd need to go WEST

Klinotaxis

go west

Odradek

You have gone WEST. In front of you, there is a pigeon. It turns and regards you with icy, pigeony, indifference

Odradek

Crystal

Same.

Also ask the pigeon if it knows where to hunt the Squonk.

Odradek

The pigeon looks you right in the eye, cocks its head and says "You gonna pay me to tell you?" in a voice that sounds uncannily like that of Ray Liotta

Tatterhood

offer the pigeon a french fry for the information

Odradek

The pigeon devours the french fry making noises you didn't know a bird larynx could make. He points somewhere EAST-ish

Tachyon

>amble leisurely in a somewhat easterly direction

Tre

> thank the kindred spirit before you depart

Odradek

The pigeon focuses on its french fry, but as you amble off you hear a quick "You're welcome!" and the sound of the pigeon flapping its wings and taking off.

You are now back at the crossroads. Do you continue heading east?

Y/N

glennmagusharvey

> Y

Calica

Hunt the wumpus