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Fruit Cake Jokes

OdradekOdradek
edited 2013-12-18 18:48:54 in General
I'm pretty sure fruitcake went extinct in America decades ago and we just make jokes out of inertia.

Comments

  • TachyonTachyon
    imagei will watch the heck outta this pumpkin patch
    i don't recall ever hearing a joke about fruitcake
  • AnonusAnonus
    I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    I've never even had fruitcake
  • TachyonTachyon
    imagei will watch the heck outta this pumpkin patch
    my mother makes it sometimes

    it's tasty

    although i prefer chocolate cake
  • OdradekOdradek
    My dreams exceed my real life
    i don't recall ever hearing a joke about fruitcake
  • OdradekOdradek
    My dreams exceed my real life
    My stepmom makes this every Christmas day.

    'tis pretty good.
  • TachyonTachyon
    edited 2013-12-18 18:56:32
    imagei will watch the heck outta this pumpkin patch
    ^^ bizarre

    i guess he had bad fruitcake
  • HavenHaven
    edited 2013-12-18 19:49:57
    Let me tell you. About Fallen London.
    image
  • TreTre
    edited 2013-12-18 21:55:24
    image
    chocolate cakes & butter cakes & cakes with lots of spice
    layer cakes & angel cakes I think are very nice
    but when it comes to christmas cake can anyone dispute
    that when you bake a christmas cake it really should be
    sure it could be
    yes it would be
    positively
    absolutely
    must
    be
    made
    with
    fruit

    fruitcake

    sift the flour and fold in eggs

    now you add some lemon peel
    i would say a cup or 2
    then some raisins, dates and figs
    just how much is up to you

    pecans & walnuts & hazelnuts
    almonds & all other crazelnuts [sic]

    cinnamon, cinnamon, don't forget the cinnamon
    cloves & spice will make it nice but don't forget the cinnamon
    cinnamon, cinnamon, don't forget the cinnamon
    cloves & spice will make it nice but don't forget the cinnamon

    now you add some candied cherries
    glistening like christmas berries
    add some rum but just a drop
    then it's time to stop

    HAVE
    A
    BITE
    OF


    fruitcake

    mmmmmmm
  • AlduinAlduin
    Man, fruitcake is like the Nickelback of food. Everyone seems to hate it, but outside all the hate you never really hear a lot about it.
  • AnonusAnonus
    I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    I heard a Nickelback song at Office Depot today...
  • SF_SorrowSF_Sorrow

    on the other hand, I just tried some panettone, and it was pretty good
  • TachyonTachyon
    imagei will watch the heck outta this pumpkin patch
    fruit cake should not be notably hard

    what is this madness
  • One-Winged EagleOne-Winged Eagle
    Man is a most complex simple creature: see what he weaves, and how base his reasons for doing so.
    I just don't like it.
  • MiseryMisery
    The sadness will last forever.
    Anonus said:

    I've never even had fruitcake


  • OdradekOdradek
    My dreams exceed my real life
    My mom bought fruitcake this year.

    I will report back
  • Imipolex GImipolex G
    Touch the cow. Do it now.
    fruity as a nutcake
  • eriophora ziaeriophora zia
    I have cut a caper with the dancing mad god
    I've never had fruitcake, but based on my experiences with things such as carrot cake, I feel like it might be something I would enjoy. 
  • OdradekOdradek
    My dreams exceed my real life
    I am eating it now.

    It tastes strange
  • OdradekOdradek
    My dreams exceed my real life
    Takes a bit of getting used to, but not bad.
  • Princess AlicePrincess Alice
    You are the end result of a “would you push the button” prompt where the prompt was “you have unlimited godlike powers but you appear to all and sundry to be an impetuous child” – Zero, 2022
    I haven't had fruitcake in like a decade. I remember thinking it didn't live up to its reputation.
  • lee4hmzlee4hmz
    edited 2014-12-21 20:04:52
    ⚠ THIS MACHINE KILLS FASCISTS
    The closest thing I've had to fruitcake in recent memory would probably be a PowerBar Harvest with strawberries in.
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